If you're 27 and never had a girlfriend, is it too late?
WantToHaveALife
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Didn't start dating until 28. Had an absolutely awful first try due to a combination of being too fussy and naive, landed a girlfriend at 29 (who was mentally unstable and probably had Borderline Personality Disorder), dated for another year and now am going to be engaged (hopefully!) within two weeks. I have no doubt in my mind she will say yes, assuming she isn't speechless.
My soon to be fiance went almost her entire 20s and 30s with almost no relationship experience. I am VERY glad she is inexperienced, with no bad habits or experience to taint her perceptions. What I wouldn't give to have lost my virginity to her. In my experience, the older I got the easier it become, both my numbers of women willing to date and number of 'successes'.
I'm 43 - and I suppose what is very disorienting is how within my lifetime we transitioned away from a Judeo-Christian culture with all the supports around... to a post-Christian gynocentric culture.
The family - and all the support structures built atop it - blown apart.
And I was one of the first ever diagnosed....
Ban-Dodger
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Gets easier for guys the older they are. Most girls probably believe that it's easier for females when they're younger.
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If you asked me this question a month ago, the answer would be a definite "no", but last month alone I had more success at dating than I've ever had in my entire life. It could be a huge coincidence or maybe it really does get easier.
WantToHaveALife
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Didn't start dating until 28. Had an absolutely awful first try due to a combination of being too fussy and naive, landed a girlfriend at 29 (who was mentally unstable and probably had Borderline Personality Disorder), dated for another year and now am going to be engaged (hopefully!) within two weeks. I have no doubt in my mind she will say yes, assuming she isn't speechless.
My soon to be fiance went almost her entire 20s and 30s with almost no relationship experience. I am VERY glad she is inexperienced, with no bad habits or experience to taint her perceptions. What I wouldn't give to have lost my virginity to her. In my experience, the older I got the easier it become, both my numbers of women willing to date and number of 'successes'.
so, the woman did not get her first boyfriend until almost 40? I always find it more shocking to hear of a woman being a late bloomer compared to a guy mainly because guys are still expected to be the initiators.
The guy down below who said it gets easier for men as they get older? i'm not so sure about that if the guy is past a certain age and inexperienced.
provided they become successful middle class. if you stay poor or low middle class it gets worse.
Not necessarily -- but definitely if you choose to sponge off SSI, dislike fun (hiking,eating out, travel, theater/films, gardening, etc), don't drive and think women are evil, self-centered, materialistic bee-yotches for daring to inquire what you do for a living. Or enjoying fun activities. Or, you know, thinking that a fun first date is meeting at a coffee shop (that you, of course, loathe on principle - who wants to spent $3 on coffee?).
For the most part, women are happy to date a guy who is independent, doesn't live with his parents and financially stable. (Not wealthy, just stable. Keep that garbage men make, like, $18+ / hour).
I love good espresso but I don't see how disliking coffee or coffee shops makes you undateable. I personally prefer cafes to coffee shops anyway.
And I was one of the first ever diagnosed....
Most of the folks who could reassure that its not too late actually aren't one this site.
1) diagnosis of older Aspies is rare
2) many older undiagnosed Aspies have actually been chased away from this site.
FWIW I didn't have any girlfriends before my mid 30s. I had a
successful marriage of 15 years before she passed away.
You can research my posts to decide for yourself where along the
autistic spectrum I may or may not be. Hopefully you read quickly.
https://wrongplanet.net/forums/search.p ... uthor=btdt
only 90 pages
RetroGamer87
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Money matters. The exception to this is when you're at school. A few students in school had jobs but no one was expected to (not at my school anyway). We were all on the same socioeconomic level because we all lived in the same suburb. I lost count of many girls asked me out or otherwise expressed interest in me in middle school and high school. I refused every time because I found it overwhelming. Now I regret that to no end. I had chances to get a girlfriend at a normal age and I wasted them
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The days are long, but the years are short
It is too late to know what it feels like while young, when you're biologically meant to start experiencing it.
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The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.
RetroGamer87
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WantToHaveALife
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Money matters. The exception to this is when you're at school. A few students in school had jobs but no one was expected to (not at my school anyway). We were all on the same socioeconomic level because we all lived in the same suburb. I lost count of many girls asked me out or otherwise expressed interest in me in middle school and high school. I refused every time because I found it overwhelming. Now I regret that to no end. I had chances to get a girlfriend at a normal age and I wasted them
ya that's why I've often felt, I think I said this already, I feel if I ever do get a girlfriend and i'm out there with her in public, holding hands, and I see all these younger couples out there kissing, holding hands, it will bring back the pain, bitterness, resentment of what I missed out on earlier. That's the cruel harsh part of life, for the most part we can't have things we want when we want them to happen, I have an Aunt who recently got married for the first time ever in her life, being in her 50's, her husband is the same age as her, they have been together since 2008, and I remember my Aunt telling me that he said to her one time "I wish we met 20 years ago"
That made me have sympathy and empathy for him.
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
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Location: Adelaide, Australia
And the second half of adult life isn't all that great. If your adult life lasts from 20 to 80, the half from 50 to 80 isn't really the best years for coupling or any other activity aside from lawn bowls. Even if you meet someone at 30, it means you just missed out on the best decade of your life. In the likely event that she's the same age as you, it means you've missed out on the best decade of her life. The decade when she was pretty.
I could have met some girl when I was 18 or 19 or 20 at college. If I'd gone to college that is. I should've gone to college but I was too lazy
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