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goldfish21
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23 Apr 2015, 8:42 pm

Now that that's out (lol) of the way: There's this guy I want to meet. We chatted online/email a bit. Then he said he was taking a bit of a hiatus from the internet, and then had a lot to do this Spring before moving to BC, and that he'd email when he's in BC to see if I'm still up for meeting. Every once in a while it drives me a little nutty when I want to send him an email buuuuut I know I can't/shouldn't because I don't want to overstep any boundaries. So, I just talk to a friend about it and then don't email. I do, however, creep his instagram every 2-3 weeks just to see if he's posted any new pics. (His instagram name was watermarked on a pic he sent.) Annnnnyways, I don't really have a point besides that I want to meet this guy (even if it's to rule him out.) & I want to email him but "can't" & just have to be very patient and wait and see if I get to meet him in a couple months. Anyone else ever had such an odd online meeting to meeting in real life delayed experience like this? It's definitely new to me. Who knows, we might really like each other.. or maybe we won't click in real life - but I do want to find out enough that I'm not really interested in meeting anyone else for the time being. Blah blah blah gay problems. :D


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envirozentinel
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24 Apr 2015, 12:52 pm

Wait and see, maybe it will work out OK. Is it not possible for you guys to communicate even by sms from time to time, that takes but a minute or two?

My relationship happened in a strange way and maybe I'll tell you about it sometime when you want to read a long post... he was in another relationship when we met due to mutual interest in a certain activity but he was wanting out. After some months things came to a head and they broke up and I got this unexpected knock on the door: he had driven the 90 km or so from his b/f and moving in with me! I wasn't totally unprepared but it was strange. That was in 1996 and we are still in a relationship but in separate cities at the moment due to various complex circumstances related to money and so forth, but still in daily phone and email contact!

Hoping to get back together eventually, and sooner rather than later. When guys are real soul mates and not just playmates alone, then one is prepared to wait because that's what real love does!

Keep us updated!


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Marky9
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24 Apr 2015, 3:42 pm

Yep, I've been in situations that are not too different. I admire your resisting the temptation to initiate contact beyond what is appropriate. Who knows, maybe in a few weeks you'll find yourself more open to the idea of meeting others until he is better available. Best wishes! :)



goldfish21
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27 Apr 2015, 12:19 am

envirozentinel wrote:
Wait and see, maybe it will work out OK. Is it not possible for you guys to communicate even by sms from time to time, that takes but a minute or two?

My relationship happened in a strange way and maybe I'll tell you about it sometime when you want to read a long post... he was in another relationship when we met due to mutual interest in a certain activity but he was wanting out. After some months things came to a head and they broke up and I got this unexpected knock on the door: he had driven the 90 km or so from his b/f and moving in with me! I wasn't totally unprepared but it was strange. That was in 1996 and we are still in a relationship but in separate cities at the moment due to various complex circumstances related to money and so forth, but still in daily phone and email contact!

Hoping to get back together eventually, and sooner rather than later. When guys are real soul mates and not just playmates alone, then one is prepared to wait because that's what real love does!

Keep us updated!


From the vibe I get, he's not a very big online person and much more of an in person person. I think he's similar to a friend of mine in this regard, so, I get it. I didn't even ask about a cell number to text - especially since he didn't want to email back and forth more before meeting. He'd rather just do his thing & then get in touch when he's closer to me this Summer. It's.. different - but, so are the guys I like.. so, could be a good sign.

That sucks you're in separate cities.. but if it's meant to be you can hack it. That could be my reality if this guy and I click in person, as from our conversation he's moving to a city on the island, a drive & a ferry ride away. I wouldn't seek out a LDR, but I'm not ruling it out, either. If we end up really liking each other then it'd be worth it. Then again, I saw a post he made online that said he was moving to a city here on the mainland, so his plans may have changed as to where he's moving and going to school. I guess I'll find out in a couple months. Well, I hope so, anyways.

And yeah, agreed on the whole soul mates vs. playmates thing. 8)


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goldfish21
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27 Apr 2015, 12:24 am

Marky9 wrote:
Yep, I've been in situations that are not too different. I admire your resisting the temptation to initiate contact beyond what is appropriate. Who knows, maybe in a few weeks you'll find yourself more open to the idea of meeting others until he is better available. Best wishes! :)


Heh, the temptation is strong at times.. hence posting this thread instead of emailing him. :P

I'm not opposed to meeting others, and I guess I'm still kinda open to it, but just not actively seeking to meet others until this Summer when I hope I get a chance to meet this guy and find out of we click or not.

It's a good thing for my productivity, too, as I've been getting quite a lot done lately w/ not spending much time chatting with other guys online. :P I have a lot on my plate to get done in the days/weeks ahead, too, so it's good I can keep focused on work/business vs. being distracted by chatting with new/different guys online. So, even if I never get a chance to meet this guy, at least I get the value of productivity over the last & next couple months. :P


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androbot01
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27 Apr 2015, 5:28 am

Where does he live now?



goldfish21
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27 Apr 2015, 9:05 am

androbot01 wrote:
Where does he live now?


Banff, Alberta, Canada - 825km away.


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androbot01
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27 Apr 2015, 11:55 am

That's a bit far. I was going to say maybe you could arrange to visit.

Frustrating situation, but the summer's not far off.



kraftiekortie
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27 Apr 2015, 2:08 pm

Bring your winter gear; I've seen it snow in Banff in July!

It's usually pretty pleasant there, though. It's in the Canadian Rockies, and it's a very scenic area.



goldfish21
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28 Apr 2015, 3:17 am

lol I know where it is.

He thought he had some free time on his hands in March & I was going to make the drive for a visit, but then his situation changed and that couldn't happen so we agreed we'd meet in the Summer when he's down on the coast. Well, I hope we get to meet, anyways. If not, ah well, the search continues same ol' same ol', but I do hope I get to meet his guy and see if we click or rule him out.


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goldfish21
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17 May 2015, 9:53 pm

I log into the chat site where we "met" every once in a while. A few days or so ago I sent him a "wink." (think like a "poke" on facebook, it's just a thing you can click to send a "wink.") I logged in today and clicked his profile just to see if he'd been online.. nope, he hasn't logged in there for more than two weeks. (and that's ok.) I hope he doesn't find that "wink" annoying at all! Hopefully he logs in at some point, sees that, and replies with something.. even just a simple "hey, how's it going?" or w/e.

I am tempted to message/email him, but at the same time I don't want to because I don't want to annoy or overwhelm him AT ALL. From our past email conversations, he seems very similar to a friend of mine in both interests and personality.. which may be mildly ASD. Obviously I won't be able to tell for sure unless I meet him in person, but I'm just going on the assumption that he may be.. which is a part of why I'm really trying to respect his whole communication thing about not emailing back and forth in the meantime, and just waiting until he's geographically closer and gets in touch to see about meeting up. Does this make sense to you guys? ie if YOU had told someone you didn't want to email back and forth but would be in touch when you were in town, would you want/appreciate someone respecting that completely & not emailing you? If they did email, might it be annoying or overwhelming? Or simply a turnoff?

I'd LIKE to email the guy, even to just say "hey, what's up? how's life? how's it going with your work/moving/school plans etc?" - that sort of thing vs. playing 20,000 questions in an attempt to get to know his personality better.. buuuuuuut, I don't want to email and be intrusive or annoying AT ALL if it's going to potentially ruin an opportunity to meet in person and see if we click. The kind of guys I'm genuinely interested in are so few and far between that I don't want to risk turning him off of meeting each other, ya know? I mean, it's incredibly easy to find someone to go to bed with.. but ridiculously difficult to find someone I might like to wake up next to - and since he may just be the latter, I don't want to f**k this up lol. And of course, if we never meet, well, that's life. Or if we meet and don't click, well, that's life too & I'd move on.. but still, on the chance that we might click I don't want to do anything to compromise meeting in order to find out.


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darkphantomx1
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17 May 2015, 11:16 pm

That post was gayer then my browsing history.


Don't tell my parents please...



KaylamiYarne
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17 May 2015, 11:31 pm

I think you should go for it as soon as possible (meeting) because it sounds like you're pretty hung up on this guy.

As far as him being offline and you waiting for a reply, I hope you're not setting yourself up for disappointment. That would suck to put that much thought into it and then find out he's not interested at all. Maybe find something else to distract you till he replies.

I'm in a long-distance relationship with a guy who's in Australia, and I live in America, and I wish circumstances had allowed us to meet sooner but oh well we've been going strong for a year and a half which I think is going to make the actual in-person meeting more dramatic and difficult.
Btw, I'm a girl and not gay, so I'm probably of not much help, but I thought I would try. I just think it's better to meet someone sooner than later.



goldfish21
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18 May 2015, 12:52 am

darkphantomx1 wrote:
That post was gayer then my browsing history.


Don't tell my parents please...


lol

I warned you it was gay.

I won't tell them. If people are on the LGBT rainbow light spectrum, it's up to them if & when to tell their parents. I don't think there's a situation where I'd ever out anyone. It's a personal comfort thing. But FYI, from my own experience & learning from the way my friends live their lives, it is way way WAY better being "comfortably out" to friends/family/coworkers etc. No stress of constantly consciously concealing it, and a whole lot more fun w/ jokes/comments etc.


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goldfish21
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18 May 2015, 1:16 am

KaylamiYarne wrote:
I think you should go for it as soon as possible (meeting) because it sounds like you're pretty hung up on this guy.

As far as him being offline and you waiting for a reply, I hope you're not setting yourself up for disappointment. That would suck to put that much thought into it and then find out he's not interested at all. Maybe find something else to distract you till he replies.

I'm in a long-distance relationship with a guy who's in Australia, and I live in America, and I wish circumstances had allowed us to meet sooner but oh well we've been going strong for a year and a half which I think is going to make the actual in-person meeting more dramatic and difficult.
Btw, I'm a girl and not gay, so I'm probably of not much help, but I thought I would try. I just think it's better to meet someone sooner than later.


Of course I'd meet him asap. If his schedule goes as planned, that will be sometime around the end of June as that's when he'll be near where I live.

Yeah, I am kinda hung up on him. There's just several things about him that make me want to meet him and find out if we click in real life. It's very rare to find someone with his interests & values, combined with looks.. very very rare. So yeah, I do want to meet him to find out if we click OR rule him out as a potential partner.

Heh, yeah. I don't want to set myself up for disappointment, either. Fortunately, since we haven't been chatting or anything, I don't have any sort of growing attachment to him or anything like that so IF we don't communicate again or meet I might be a little disappointed momentarily, but I won't be all destroyed or anything. I have plenty to do to keep myself busy & focused on the present vs. spend much time at all thinking about him. I have a job to go to & projects to work on, kiteboard gear to repair/maintain for this season, books to read, taxes to do, friends & family to see etc etc etc - I always have plenty to do that keeps me from spending time & energy thinking too much about this, or any, guy.

I definitely agree it's better to meet sooner rather than later. I'm not one for online relationships. I like that we chatted a bit and learned a few things about each other, but respect that he doesn't want to do that. It may be better in a few ways.. leaves stuff to talk about in person, doesn't get us overly interested in each other only to find out we don't click in real life for any number of reasons etc. But yeah, I think both of us are on the same page about meeting sooner rather than later.. as I shared before, I was willing to make the drive to go meet him in March but then that couldn't happen. The next possible time we could meet will be around the end of June when he's in town.


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darkphantomx1
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18 May 2015, 8:24 am

I was just kidding, i'm not gay.

I was high when I made that post.