EDIT: The TL;DR version is under this one. Sorry for the textwall everyone!!
I'm currently looking for material to read and get a better understanding of my son's atypical behavior.
He's nine years old, he does excellent academically. But as he and my two younger children have grown older, I've realized that he's not socially or verbally on the same path as other children. He realizes he's different, and we've been to three different specialists for treatment. But I'm unsatisfied with some of what they're telling me.
The specialists told me he didn't have enough symptoms to be considered ASD, but he just had anxiety. So they referred me to a clinical program that specializes in anxiety.
I went to a different therapist along with the anxiety clinic. The other therapist is the one who told me that he has PDD-NOS, but I think it was just an unofficial diagnosis. I realized that I couldn't do the Anxiety Clinic and this therapist at the same time, the other treatment was a weekly regimen and I decided to postpone the one clinic until we were done with the Anxiety group.
The Anxiety clinic has helped him through anxiety relieving techniques, and we are currently finishing up a PDI/CDI education treatment program to reduce his "meltdowns". He hasn't had a full blown meltdown since January, which is a relief for me, because it use to be more than twice a week over small issues like taking a shower, or what to eat for dinner.
I guess what I'm looking for here is other peoples experiences and input. A lot of my family or friends seem to dismiss my concerns or my desire to find a "label" for him. But I believe that he needs to be understood on a different level than the typical kid because he IS different.
He uses atypically large words for his age and speaks very formally, he doesn't seem to care if he conforms with social standards, he gets teased and bullied a lot, he cries easily-but not over the teasing or the bullying-he cries over caterpillars getting squished, or a teacher changing schools. He gets anxious about thunderstorms and weather, he didn't let me light a candle for years because the fire made him anxious. He didn't go down the "fireman poles" at the playground until he was eight because he was worried about an injury. He made wide circles around fans because when his sister was a baby she put her finger in one once and cried a lot. She put her finger back into it the next week, meanwhile he would have an anxiety freakout over being within six feet of one (this was when he was 4!)
He thinks very creatively, he cares deeply for "underdogs" and worries about small animals and children. (this was another reason the specialists wouldn't give him the ASD diagnosis, because they said he showed too much empathy).
He strangely makes really high pitched shrieking noises for no apparent reason. We'll just get out of the car and he starts to make this high pitched chirp. Sometimes he chirps in a rhythmic sequence. I ask him to stop, but he'll do it again at a later time.
He doesn't play pretend when he's by himself. He'll play pretend with his younger brother who has a vivid imagination, or he'll play with one of my close friend's son. But if they're left to their own devices, he'll often end up the odd one out, folding paper cranes, paper airplanes, or hats while the other kids are playing something else. He'll sometimes play sports with them, and he often takes on the role of announcer while he plays. He announces the moves very analytically while they happen. Two years ago I picked him up from after school care and watched him take a shot, and he caught the ball after he missed the shot, and then he shot it and made it. He came over to me very proud and said, "Mom, that was a rebound. When you catch a ball after a shot is missed, it's called a rebound."
He's just incredibly analytical.
He also refuses to wipe after poops. This is incredibly difficult for all of us, and it's been going on for as long as he's been potty-trained (5-6 years?) I just don't know what to do about it. The Anxiety/behavioral therapists at the clinic have told me to consider this "non-compliant" behavior and start to punish him for it. I haven't started doing that yet. But whenever he smells like poop it further isolates him socially. (obviously, he smells like an outhouse!! !) He has told me he doesn't care. But 1st and 2nd grade were so hard for him when he was bullied more than he is now, that he use to cry when I made him go. He'd beg me to stay home. He told me his stomach hurt and it was so awful. Also, smelling like poop is also not good for him, he constantly has rashes and itchiness. My current solution is either following him into the bathroom when I know he's pooping and forcing him to let me wipe him, or forcing him to shower directly after pooping every time.
I'm a single mother, and my children's father was mentally unhealthy and abused me (physically, verbally, emotionally, financially etc.) I've been out of that marriage for four years now, and I have sole custody of my three kids. When I first started to notice that my son was behaving differently, I immediately blamed my ex and thought it was probably related to his behavioral problems (the specialists also blamed my son's behavior on the fact that he witnessed some of the physical violence in the home before he was 4 years old). However, since researching this more, I believe that I also have a lot of these atypical behaviors. I'm not particularly good at socializing, I have very few friends. I tend to communicate better online or via text than I do in person. I hate talking on the phone, and I struggle to do so with a few of my close family members. I don't show emotion easily, and I have a hard time being "one of the girls". I also accidentally discovered that there's a name for this "echolalia" and "palilalia" that I've done my entire life. In fact, my ex-husband use to mock me for it, and I had no idea I was even doing it. I thought I'd stopped doing it, until my little sister told me that I still do it.
I also do well academically but struggle with simple social encounters. I feel like I always say the wrong thing, or laugh at the wrong times etc. etc.
I'd like to be as good of a mother as I can though.
Last edited by edelweiss on 19 May 2015, 8:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.
19 May 2015, 7:46 pm
