Page 1 of 3 [ 41 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Jaxom
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 20 May 2015
Posts: 9

20 May 2015, 8:48 pm

This stuff might make some people uncomfortable. Don't listen if you are sensitive. But I think people should be aware of this group. It is lead by a psychologist who works with us folks on the spectrum. The next teleconference is Friday May 22 at 2:30pm (pacific time). The below links are recordings of earlier conferences.

https://www.freeconferencecallhd.com/pl ... sDM6/jdyfE

https://www.freeconferencecallhd.com/pl ... sDM6/jWSAM

https://www.freeconferencecallhd.com/pl ... sDM6/jYZA1

https://www.freeconferencecallhd.com/pl ... sDM6/jJZbg

https://www.freeconferencecallhd.com/pl ... sDM6/jKdrj

https://www.freeconferencecallhd.com/pl ... sDM6/jbgnW

https://www.freeconferencecallhd.com/pl ... sDM6/y7ueZ

https://www.freeconferencecallhd.com/pl ... sDM6/juhZ8

https://www.freeconferencecallhd.com/pl ... sDM6/jhyoQ

Friday, May 22, 2015
at 2:30 PM (Pacific time)

“Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD”
Meetup Members Only
USA and International Phone Numbers for Conference Calls with Dr. Marshack
Dial: (559) 726-1300 Please do not use your regular phone number or any other personally identifying number
Access Code: 462061#

Press *6 to unmute your call and then you can ask your question or make a comment

International Numbers
Argentina +54 (0) 11 5235-4340
Australia +61 (0) 3 8672 0105
Belgium +32 (0) 4 244 10 83
Brazil +55 21 2391-6538
Chile +56 (0) 44 890 9164
Costa Rica +506 4000 3889
Croatia +385 (0) 1 8000 053
Cyprus +357 77 788855
Denmark +45 78 77 21 83
France +33 (0) 1 78 90 06 70
Georgia +995 (0) 706 777 065
Germany +49 (0) 69 1200650760
Honduras +504 2279-0210
Hungary +36 1 987 6803
Indonesia +62 (0) 21 51388880
Israel +972 (0) 76-599-0022
Italy +39 011 092 0917
Japan +81 (0) 3-5050-5071
Kenya +254 (0) 20 5231048
Luxembourg +352 20 30 10 07
Malaysia +60 (0) 11-1146 0033
Mexico +52 (01) 899 274 9983
Netherlands +31 (0) 6 35205005
Norway +47 21 93 06 45
Pakistan +92 (0) 21 37130620
Panama +507 838-7850
Portugal +351 21 005 1186
Slovakia +421 2 336 633 06
South Africa +27 (0) 87 825 0106
South Korea 1600-8556
Spain +34 911 33 84 80
Sweden +46 (0) 8 124 107 12
Turkey +90 (0) 212 988 1740
Ukraine +380 (0) 89 323 9965
United Kingdom +44 (0) 7874 476105
United States (559) 726-1300
Vietnam +84 (0) 4 7108 0099

Additional Help
Joining the Conference - At the scheduled date and time of the online meeting, dial into the conference line and when

prompted enter the access code followed by the pound key.



Jaxom
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 20 May 2015
Posts: 9

21 May 2015, 2:58 am

In their group forum the psychologist says that we lack empathy and that we are more likely to be mass murderers. It seems kind of messed up to me since she's in a position of authority as a psychologist and actively tries to get people to think we are dangerous. I think she also says that in divorces the kids should go to the non autistic parent since autistics don't have empathy and can't be good parents. She's said a lot of other stuff too. (She has a couple books I think) I've heard people describe her support group for spouses of autistic adults as being a kind of hate group. To me it doesn't seem that far from the mark.



alex
Developer
Developer

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jun 2004
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,214
Location: Beverly Hills, CA

21 May 2015, 3:36 am

Jaxom wrote:
In their group forum the psychologist says that we lack empathy and that we are more likely to be mass murderers. It seems kind of messed up to me since she's in a position of authority as a psychologist and actively tries to get people to think we are dangerous. I think she also says that in divorces the kids should go to the non autistic parent since autistics don't have empathy and can't be good parents. She's said a lot of other stuff too. (She has a couple books I think) I've heard people describe her support group for spouses of autistic adults as being a kind of hate group. To me it doesn't seem that far from the mark.


is that really what she says?


_________________
I'm Alex Plank, the founder of Wrong Planet. Follow me (Alex Plank) on Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/alexplank.bsky.social


Jono
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2008
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,603
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa

21 May 2015, 6:26 am

alex wrote:
Jaxom wrote:
In their group forum the psychologist says that we lack empathy and that we are more likely to be mass murderers. It seems kind of messed up to me since she's in a position of authority as a psychologist and actively tries to get people to think we are dangerous. I think she also says that in divorces the kids should go to the non autistic parent since autistics don't have empathy and can't be good parents. She's said a lot of other stuff too. (She has a couple books I think) I've heard people describe her support group for spouses of autistic adults as being a kind of hate group. To me it doesn't seem that far from the mark.


is that really what she says?


Another "Cassandra" group, so I'm not surprised. I actually saw a thread in an internet forum, which I complained about, dedicated as supposedly a "support" forum for partners of people with AS that claimed that we're likely to become like Adam Lanza (the Sandy Hook shooter). And they wonder why we hate these groups. Kathy Marshack is particularly notable for writing a disgusting book about aspies in relationships, entitled "Going Over the Edge". Google it.



Jaxom
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 20 May 2015
Posts: 9

21 May 2015, 11:40 am

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id= ... sp=sharing

Here are some screenshots from their forum. There is a lot more where that came from.



Jaxom
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 20 May 2015
Posts: 9

21 May 2015, 11:58 am

www.meetup.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Partne ... -with-ASD/

That is the link to the meetup group if you want to say you are NT you can join.



Jono
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2008
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,603
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa

21 May 2015, 12:01 pm

Jaxom wrote:
https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B5hDB4CyfrGFfnVrLWpnVGlHcFNxbE5tSU9vZjQ5MjA5UWFtRnctWHdmSXgwbS1ZVUdiYzA&usp=sharing

Here are some screenshots from their forum. There is a lot more where that came from.


The 4th imagee onwards is very telling. She actually does say that we're likely to become mass murderers, that we're likely to abuse our partners etc.



Jono
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2008
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,603
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa

21 May 2015, 12:05 pm

Jaxom wrote:
http://www.meetup.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Partners-Family-of-Adults-with-ASD/

That is the link to the meetup group if you want to say you are NT you can join.


I'm not sure that it's a good idea to try and join the group, pretending to be NT. You could organise a protest against Dr Marshack though.



Jaxom
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 20 May 2015
Posts: 9

21 May 2015, 12:15 pm

Jono wrote:
Jaxom wrote:
http://www.meetup.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Partners-Family-of-Adults-with-ASD/

That is the link to the meetup group if you want to say you are NT you can join.


I'm not sure that it's a good idea to try and join the group, pretending to be NT. You could organise a protest against Dr Marshack though.



How else do you think I got this info? The group is closed to people who aren't members. I would organize a protest but I don't have a lot of experience in that. Just gathering info at the moment.



Jono
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2008
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,603
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa

21 May 2015, 6:50 pm

Oh my freaking God! I'm listening to the first teleconference recording and Kathy Marshack was talking to one woman about the "silent treatment" and how it's "punish the spouse". For christ sake, it's not the "silent treatment", it's called a shutdown and it's nor to punish the spouse, sometimes people just need alone time to lower stress. Good lord.



Jaxom
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 20 May 2015
Posts: 9

21 May 2015, 8:49 pm

Yeah it's really disturbing since she's a psychologist who specializes in working with people on the spectrum. She says stuff like that and then claims that autistics lack empathy. She doesn't show much empathy herself or she'd realize that autistics are people too with feelings and emotions. Seems pretty unethical for a psychologist to use her authority to further stigmatize us. Apparently she was married to a guy on the spectrum and things went sour between them so she formed this group.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

22 May 2015, 2:45 pm

All depressing to read and she seems hurt from the aspies she grew up with. Yes not all aspies are roses and goodies.

My ex also faced that discrimination too in court. He hired a doctor to help him in court because they are trained to read body language so he would be able to tell that his ex is lying in court about him. It backfired because first it seemed like he was helping him and then he said at the end he wouldn't be able to parent his son due to his AS. My ex sues him to get his money back and I don't know if he won or not but I did find out recently on Facebook he never won custody of his son.

Now I wonder if the doctor is correct because of the way my ex treated me and the fact he involved his son in the abuse so that tells me he wouldn't be a good father and he acted like more of a friend to him. He was good with him and his son really liked him and that is what matters but just because you are good with kids doesn't mean you are a good parent. Parenting is more than playing with your kids and taking them out and interacting with them and making sure they are fed and clothed. But my ex was a jerk and aspies can be jerks and he was cold at me but yet he made himself sound like a great person when we first met. If the way he treated me, how do I know he wouldn't treat his son that way? I don't think he was a good role model for his kid either which is why I think the doctor said he wouldn't be able to parent his son. I am not trying to blame it on AS here and I do believe lot of their aspies were jerks based on how they are described by the NT. I can't see a different perspective without hearing the other side. I could be in that group but because I am diagnosed, I can't be in it. Or I could pretend to be NT with aspie traits and be in denial and they might still figure me out anyway and I am not creating a new account and a new email and coming up with a username I have never used before (to cut down the chances of being found out) to join to spy on them and make hateful posts about my ex and pretend to hate on aspies.

I also wonder if the reason why my ex excluded me from being with him while he was fighting and going to court to get custody of his son was because he was worried I will say too much and that would ruin his chance to get custody of his son because I would be too honest and say the "wrong" things so it was like I was no longer in a relationship with him because he excluded me and I couldn't be there to support him and I am sure his son outed him to his mother by repeating things he told him an the stories he tells when he was with his father so his mom used it against her ex in court. Anything is used against you in court when it's about child custody. IDK the doctor could have been a bigot and his assumption about him happened to be correct but to say he wouldn't be a good parent because of his AS was bigotry. Listing the things he does that wouldn't make him a good parent wouldn't be bigotry nor would it be discrimination.


Now I am curious about "Over the Edge." I am reading boy Alone because someone here got me curious about the book when they mentioned abuse in therapy the boy got. I haven't gotten that far yet in it. It was only $1.99 on my Nook from B&N website so I bought it so I can read it anytime without going to the bookstore to read it. But I am too distracted with my Nintendo 3DS to even keep reading it. Gotta love my interests.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


Jono
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2008
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,603
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa

22 May 2015, 3:06 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Now I am curious about "Over the Edge." I am reading boy Alone because someone here got me curious about the book when they mentioned abuse in therapy the boy got. I haven't gotten that far yet in it. It was only $1.99 on my Nook from B&N website so I bought it so I can read it anytime without going to the bookstore to read it. But I am too distracted with my Nintendo 3DS to even keep reading it. Gotta love my interests.


Don't bother with that book. While she accuses aspies as being abusers, I've just found out from someone in another thread that she actually advocates abuse against autistic partners herself:

Agemaki wrote:
I've recently been made aware of a support group for partners of autistics run by a psychologist and author named Kathy Marshack. Apparently she advocates intentionally causing meltdowns in order to win favor in divorce litigations. I'm trying to learn more about her organization but it is closed to autistics. My understanding is that it is a kind of hate group.


http://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=33&t=74300&start=30#p6618336

To me, deliberately triggering meltdowns in an autistic to get reaction out of them is in itself psychological abuse. You can't claim to advocate against abuse and yet actually promote abuse. You either advocate for victims, regardless of who they are or you don't. She is more ant-Asperger and anti-neurodiversity (yes, she actually says that she's against neurodiversity in her book) than she is anti-abuse.

I'm not why you think that just because some aspies can be abusive, then everyone who mentions abuse in connection with Asperger's must be right. If being abusive has got no correlation with having Aspergers, then why mention whether or not they have Aspergers at all? Why not just talk about abusive relationships in general?



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

22 May 2015, 3:33 pm

I do agree that deliberately trying to get someone to have meltdown is abuse so it wouldn't surprise me if that is something spouses pay do in court when they want full custody of their kids. That would be like my husband deliberately not doing things that need to be done and withholding things from me or even stalking me so I will have tons of anxiety so it makes me a dysfunctional person I am not able to care for my kids properly due to the tremendous stress so he can use that against me in court to "prove" to the judge I am not a fit parent because of my autism and anxiety issues. Sadly I think these things do happen in court when there are kids involved. That is what makes me vulnerable.


Wait how did I end up on the topic about aspies and kids? Huh. Wait, it was something I read from the screenshots duh.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

22 May 2015, 3:40 pm

Jono wrote:

I'm not why you think that just because some aspies can be abusive, then everyone who mentions abuse in connection with Asperger's must be right. If being abusive has got no correlation with having Aspergers, then why mention whether or not they have Aspergers at all? Why not just talk about abusive relationships in general?


Exactly.

When I talk about my ex boyfriends in a negative manner, I do not mention one of them as having ADHD or possibly other mental disorders such as schizophrenia (my mom's label of him) or Paranoid personalty disorder (someone else's label of him online) and I do not mention him having aspie traits. I do not mention my other ex boyfriend as having AS.

Mentioning their disability when you talk about how abusive they were or what a jerk they were or how cold they were, etc. really takes the focus away from what you are saying and people will be focused on the label and see it as hate speech or as bigotry.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


Jono
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2008
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,603
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa

24 May 2015, 5:07 pm

Jaxom wrote:
In their group forum the psychologist says that we lack empathy and that we are more likely to be mass murderers. It seems kind of messed up to me since she's in a position of authority as a psychologist and actively tries to get people to think we are dangerous. I think she also says that in divorces the kids should go to the non autistic parent since autistics don't have empathy and can't be good parents. She's said a lot of other stuff too. (She has a couple books I think) I've heard people describe her support group for spouses of autistic adults as being a kind of hate group. To me it doesn't seem that far from the mark.


Hey Jaxom, do you know how old those video conference sessions are? In the 4th you posted, Kathy Marshack mentioned Sheila Jennings Linehan as reference for the divorce cases. I haven't heard anything from her since 2009 when ASAN launched a campaign against FAAAS and specifically used her as an example. None of her articles are still on the internet as far as I can tell and I can't find any reference suggesting that she still practices law.