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Einfari
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Age: 30
Gender: Female
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23 May 2015, 1:44 am

So I got a Tinder as a joke back in February just for the sake of trolling it. I unintentionally ended up talking to a guy on there who I went on a few dates with, but I decided not to go further with it after realizing we had very different views about some things, and his dirty house didn't help anything.

I decided not to use it for a few months after school started to get really busy, considering it was my final semester of college and I needed to get my GPA up. Now I graduated and have free time again, now that I only work normal hours and no weekends. As a result, I made the not so smart decision of trying Tinder again. Just something to deal with boredom I guess and a chance to talk to people who seemed cool or troll people that were creepy/trolls. Now that I've had some lasting conversations with people that seem nice, I think I've had four different guys ask me to hang out with them. One asked to go to coffee really nicely and another for dinner, so I said yes to the coffee and unsure about the dinner as of now. I've had decent conversations with both of these guys.

The other two seemed a little bit iffy as one keeps asking me to go running after a 5 message conversation and the other just wanted to hang out after now really talking about much. I just didn't reply to these, since I don't like to trust people on Tinder unless I can tell they aren't creepy. I've talked to plenty of weirdos on Tinder as well, like this one guy who asked me to meet him at a hotel before his flight the next morning along with a few drunk guys.

Should I just do to coffee and dinner with two different people at different times and see what happens? I'm all about meeting new people, but it seems like some of the guys I talk to take Tinder a lot more seriously than I do. I'm fine with just going on one casual date with a person and deciding from there, but I'm afraid the other person won't feel the same. Maybe I'm just overreacting because most of my female friends don't casually date as they are always hung up on one guy at a time, so I don't feel like I can get good advice from them in this type of situation. On the other hand, I can't have feelings for any guy beyond a slight interest unless I date them first. Being hung up on a crush never worked for me, as it is putting way too much emotional attachment into something that may mean nothing at all. Ugh, I just don't know what to do, and I really hope none of these guys have high expectations, as I never have high expectations on first dates. To me, they only exist to meet new people that I might want to date and I won't be too heartbroken if the guy or me isn't interested after the fact.

Any ideas? I hope I didn't just create a horrible mess.



The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
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Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

23 May 2015, 4:35 am

The default archetype of girl is a girl looking for something serious and long-term.

So when a girl doesn't make it clear on a dating site, guys would assume she's looking for something serious because that's how the majority of girls are.

So if you are looking for something casual, you have to explicitly express it on your profile. ie. "Yes, I am a girl, and I am just looking for a hook up".

The default archetype of guy is the opposite.