Has anyone liked a guy that is already taken????

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Fruitloop02
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23 May 2015, 3:09 pm

Well there is a guy that I am developing feelings for which is crap because he has a girlfriend.The more I talk to him the worse it gets.I volunteer with him so I always see him.Friends and family know all about it and say that I should move on and that I am wasting my energy which is true but I'm stuck.I don't want to leave the place where I am volunteering but if I keep talking to him these feelings I have for him will just sadden me.What hurts the most is when he talks about his girlfriend :(
I'm starting to get fantastises of me and him as girlfriend and boyfriend so I got it bad


It would be great if he was really coxy and arrogant because then it would be easy for me not to fancy him but he is not.He is sweet and kind.What do I do? Is there any point telling him that I like him?
I was thinking of saying less to him less but then he might notice something is up because i try to hide my feelings by being very chatty.Another thing that is bothering me is that my friend has invited him to my birthday which is really frustrating.This doesn't help me what so ever .It makes things 10 times worse because I am going to have to uninvite him in a nice way if that is possible.



MollyTroubletail
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23 May 2015, 3:57 pm

I would say just hang in there as a regular friend and do the best you can despite your secret feelings. 90% of relationships don't last forever and there's a better than even chance that eventually they'll break up. Also uninviting someone is hard to do without making them suspicious and then it might be awkward.



MrBear
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25 May 2015, 9:52 pm

I actually had a close friend who I developed feelings for (and she for me) who was married. One of those "why couldn't we have met sooner" as we are VERY compatible. It can be a sad and painful things. I wonder if it is better when it is one-sided. If somebody does not feel that way back it may be easier to move on. That has been my experience in life anyway.



Fruitloop02
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27 May 2015, 6:53 pm

Its awful when it is one sided.Obviously I will never be able to tell him how I truly feel without having to make things awkward plus I doubt he would leave his girlfriend for me.



goldfish21
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27 May 2015, 8:10 pm

Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score... :P :D

Don't uninvite him. That's rude. Just be nice and polite. If you're not the type to steal someone's boyfriend, then just be nice to him as the friends you are and then IF someday he's single, you can make your move. If he's totally happy with his relationship, then it's probably not all that wise to tell him of your crush. But if he's not and you think he might have a thing for you, too, then it might not be such a bad idea to bring it up sometime. Only you can determine what's appropriate in your situation.. as well as what you're comfortable with by your own moral code.


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DailyPoutine1
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27 May 2015, 8:23 pm

Well not a guy because I'm one myself, but a little bit less than two years ago I liked a girl but didn't have the guts to tell her. So, 2 days in summer vacation I go do my daily facebook stalking to learn that she had just gotten a "boyfriend".



cathylynn
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27 May 2015, 8:27 pm

who hasn't liked someone who is taken?



The_Face_of_Boo
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28 May 2015, 1:16 am

MollyTroubletail wrote:
I would say just hang in there as a regular friend and do the best you can despite your secret feelings. 90% of relationships don't last forever and there's a better than even chance that eventually they'll break up. Also uninviting someone is hard to do without making them suspicious and then it might be awkward.


What a horrible advice, for both sides, the vulture waiting for prey method.

What if they won't break up? What then? who's gonna compensate her wasted years?

Your family's advice is the most logical, fruitloop.



Bondkatten
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28 May 2015, 1:45 am

Let him come to your party, but afterwards distance yourself. Nothing good will come from telling him, most likely you will just make a fool of yourself. Imagine that he will declare that he has the same feeling for you and dump his gf for you. Do you really think that it will work out for you? Most likely it will end with you later getting dumped for someone else...

You cannot help having feelings for someone, the only thing that you can have control over is how you act upon them. I think that if you stay friends with him, it will just be painful for you. Sometimes it's better to keep distance for your own sake.



Fruitloop02
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02 Jun 2015, 1:48 pm

I think if I distanced myself from my crush he will b aware that something is wrong.I do agree that he probably wouldn't stay with me if I dated him.I thinking way far ahead haha. He met his girlfriend in college and by the sounds of things they won't be breaking up any time soon.I havn't met his girlfriend yet but I will be.soon.Nervous about that.I feel like I'm the ex meeting his new girlfriend haha.Very weird.



kraftiekortie
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02 Jun 2015, 3:26 pm

I've liked MANY girls that were already "taken."

Please don't bear a grudge on the guy because he has another girlfriend.

There will be other guys whom you will like and who will like you.



darkphantomx1
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03 Jun 2015, 8:55 am

If you like someone, check their Facebook and see if they're in a relationship.

Unfortunately Facebook made a stupid update where you can't see if they're in a relationship or not if you two are not friends. By default, it comes up with No Relationship Info To Show. In this case, check if they're with someone else in one of their photos but this could be their friend, brother, or sister so watch out. Or if you're brave, send them a friend request and if they accept you should be able to see if they're single or not.



Fruitloop02
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03 Jun 2015, 8:19 pm

I found my crush on facebook.I know creepy.I just wanted to see what his Facebook is like.I never knew that the relationship status doesn't show even when you are not friends with the person.Any who I knew he had a girlfriend before everyone else did in the group because he kept it quite but I just had feeling someone got there before me and I was right.Any who I'm slowly but surely getting over him.Personally I think once I have a boyfriend these feelings I have for my crush will go well hopefully they do.



Non_Passerine
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03 Jun 2015, 8:23 pm

Just remember: until the wedding, there is no legal bond. When they're dating, there's no legal contract.

Hope they break up instead of getting engaged. Keep a horse in the race!



Soulianis
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08 Jun 2015, 7:31 am

Many times. It's horrible.

I've found that the easiest way to get past it for me is usually by getting to know their girlfriend. Generally all the guys I've liked have been in relationships with awesome people. As soon as I've spent enough time with their girlfriend to establish that I like them very much too, the idea of wanting them not to be together just feels wrong and the crush has always faded away without much effort.

I don't know whether it works like that for anyone else, but fingers crossed you can get over him soon.



Barnes66
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08 Jun 2015, 7:36 pm

Yes I have.I had a crush on co worker and I thought he liked me too. Then I found out he already has a live in gf.He no longer works for the company and now its out of sight out of mind :)