How to have non prostitutional sex or get a gf

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anthropic_principle
Deinonychus
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24 May 2015, 6:10 am

while having autism?
is it possible?
ive been housebound for a long time now but am wondering if any girls would ever accept us, regardless of physical attractiveness?
what are the steps to getting a gf or engaging in intercourse with a female?
what are the requirements and what words do i have to say to the female to initiate intercourse or acquire her as a gf?



kraftiekortie
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24 May 2015, 6:16 am

Just talk to a girl like she's a person. Don't mention your desire for sex except in very general terms. Identify with the girl....especially if you feel real identification. Listen to what she has to say.

Try to get out of the house. There's very little chance of any of your desires being fulfilled if you stay in the house.



anthropic_principle
Deinonychus
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24 May 2015, 6:24 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Just talk to a girl like she's a person. Don't mention your desire for sex except in very general terms. Identify with the girl....especially if you feel real identification. Listen to what she has to say.

Try to get out of the house. There's very little chance of any of your desires being fulfilled if you stay in the house.


I dont know how to talk to a girl likes shes a person, thats the problem.
I need a step by step guide for what I need to say to her, and appropriate responses to what she says ready in my head at all times.
I want to leave the house but anxiety and this disease ( not autism) have destroyed me.
this is more for future reference.



Judas
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24 May 2015, 6:30 am

Well first of all, girls are much more subtle then men in general, which I can only imagine must be more difficult for someone further up the autism scale than me. Although I find it a bit difficult. The first step like in any relation is to befriend the person in question. This means taking a genuine interest in them. Gain their trust and bond on an emotional level. This offcourse takes time as most females require a high level of trust in order to be intimate. When I got to the point where we had sex the only referance I had was from watching pornography, which in all honesty helped. When it comes to the act itself. Feel don't think trust your instincts and you'll know what to do, but proceed slowly.

If you simply want a shag without the hassle of a relationship then you might consider hiring a professional, an escort, or visit dating sites for one night stands.
in any case I suggest visiting a feew dating websites and looking around.

Best of luck to you.



screen_name
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24 May 2015, 6:43 am

Join a group or related to your interests. Find one with females. Keep searching through things you enjoy until you find a group or two.

Then, follow through these general steps of social interaction:
(This is based on Social Penetration Theory and describes the typical path from stranger to intimate relationship. Each of the stages will last different amounts of time; make sure each stage is reciprocated before moving on. DON'T jump stages--that's when people get freaked out.)

From Wikipedia:

Quote:
Stages of Self Disclosure

Orientation stage
. In this first stage we engage in small talk and simple, harmless clichés like, ‘Life’s like that’. This first stage follows the standards of social desirability and norms of appropriateness.

Exploratory affective stage. We now start to reveal ourselves, expressing personal attitudes about moderate topics such as government and education. This may not be the whole truth as we are not yet comfortable to lay ourselves bare. We are still feeling our way forward. This is the stage of casual friendship, and many relationships do not go past this stage.

Affective stage. Now we start to talk about private and personal matters. We may use personal idioms. Criticism and arguments may arise. There may be intimate touching and kissing at this stage.

Stable stage. The relationship now reaches a plateau in which some of the deepest personal thoughts, beliefs, and values are shared and each can predict the emotional reactions of the other person.


_________________
So you know who just said that:
I am female, I am married
I have two children (one AS and one NT)
I have been diagnosed with Aspergers and MERLD
I have significant chronic medical conditions as well


kraftiekortie
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24 May 2015, 10:43 am

I think you have the right idea, really.

Yes, there are girls who would, in general, share your "special interest." Seek them out online, and talk to them. Like you would a guy with the same "special interest."



screen_name
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24 May 2015, 11:21 am

I'm glad you like it, kraftiekortie. :) (if that was, in fact, aimed at me)

I'm getting my bachelors in communications (online). It's very interesting pursuing this degree while being on the spectrum. But, it's also incredibly useful! It's easier for me to learn these things in a more "academic" way. I think a lot of what I am learning would be really useful for those on the spectrum from around 16 and up. Or at least the type who learn better academically than socially. Most adults (aside from specialists in communication) don't have this knowledge and it's harder to share something you only have an intuitive understanding of.


_________________
So you know who just said that:
I am female, I am married
I have two children (one AS and one NT)
I have been diagnosed with Aspergers and MERLD
I have significant chronic medical conditions as well


kraftiekortie
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25 May 2015, 7:01 am

Yep...it was aimed at you, as well as the OP.

You seem in good spirits, Screen Name--and I'm happy for that.

How are the kids doing?