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beneficii
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28 May 2015, 3:19 pm

Looking at this, the method seems to be pretty messed up. From the same link:

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This is an extraordinary document that casts accusatory suspicion on most teenaged boys (all who have demonstrated any amount of laziness, argumentativeness, depression, enjoyment of physical play and roughhousing with siblings, aptitude and willingness for child care, or interest in sexuality of any degree or kind), while shifting part of the blame for the actions of an abuser onto young children’s perceived lack of propriety and parents’ lack of implementation of Levitical law and daily interrogation sessions.

Is it any wonder that so many ATI young people, especially young men, grew up with extreme loathing and suspicion of their own normal sexuality, if so many different common teenaged struggles, interests, and behaviors branded them as potential child molesters? Is it any wonder that, despite this document’s admirable paragraph on reporting sexual abuse and working with professionals, many ATI parents were reluctant to acknowledge, much less report sexual abuse when they learned of it, as they would themselves be strongly implicated as having facilitated the abuse? Is it any wonder that ATI sexual abuse victims were often reluctant to report their abuse not just because of the usual fears and trepidations of abuse victims, but also because they would be in strong danger of being implicated as having invited or inadequately resisted the abuse?


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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28 May 2015, 3:27 pm

beneficii wrote:
Looking at this source, when it comes to therapy for those who have been sexually abused, the Gothard method seems to involve a large amount of victim blaming. This is a website for survivors of the Gothard method:

Quote:
In this list of questions, “immodesty” in the home was presented to the young man as a leading question. It’s assumed to be a motivating factor for his sexual abuse of his siblings, and he was asked how not only he, but also his victims, could have been trained to “resist evil.” This is the first time the piece displays a presumption that the very young children were somehow complicit in their own abuse by exhibiting “immodesty” and/or not effectively resisting the sexual assault of a much older and stronger perpetrator — let alone their very own brother whom they knew and trusted. The implication that the younger children were “immodest” and did not adequately “resist evil” will be made explicit by the young man’s narration later in the piece, and the suggestion that the younger children were “immodest” and inadequately resistant due to their lack of training does little to blunt this subtle assignment of blame to child victims.


http://www.recoveringgrace.org/2015/05/gracenote/



This is part of the reason I do not like my money going toward IBLP or ATI and when I shop at Hobby Lobby, I shouldn't have to shop at IBLP or ATI by default. I also do not like their mind control agenda and yes, they do have one. If given the chance, they would outlaw all kinds of birth control and enforce a dress code to prevent what they call defrauding which is a way of saying no one can control their urges because of clothing. They would also put Bible study in the public schools and I believe in separation of church and state and it should be in the churches. What they want is for everyone to be robots that recite Bible verses. No one would be allowed to have a mind of their own. They always find excuses for everything. They can't blame it on a broken home so they blame it on the way someone dresses or the parents not being in the same room. This just goes to show you can come from a home that isn't "broken" and still have issues. Nothing is ever perfect. It never will be and we all just have to accept it instead of always blaming each other.



beneficii
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28 May 2015, 3:31 pm

Ana,

Kinda reminds me of that Muslim rapist in Australia who said he wouldn't have raped had the victim, a woman, been wearing a burka. Thank God the court didn't buy it.


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sly279
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28 May 2015, 3:39 pm

you don't shop at walmart either right? they support human right violations, pollution and destruction of the environment, and many more.

I still shop there because I'm poor. really so many people are finding all kinds of reasons to hate hobby lobby now adays. don't you have jo anns or michaels or franklin craft stores.

manly craft stores. oh how I wish we had one here .



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28 May 2015, 3:43 pm

beneficii wrote:
Ana,

Kinda reminds me of that Muslim rapist in Australia who said he wouldn't have raped had the victim, a woman, been wearing a burka. Thank God the court didn't buy it.

I'm glad, too.



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28 May 2015, 3:47 pm

sly279 wrote:
you don't shop at walmart either right? they support human right violations, pollution and destruction of the environment, and many more.

I still shop there because I'm poor. really so many people are finding all kinds of reasons to hate hobby lobby now adays. don't you have jo anns or michaels or franklin craft stores.

manly craft stores. oh how I wish we had one here .


We have Jo Ann and Michaels but when it comes to actual art supplies, Hobby Lobby has the best selection and price around here. The others are more craft/sewing stores but Michael's does have some art supplies.
I shop at Wal Mart too, for the same reason you do but they are not as fanatical as HL. The owners of HL are very religious and if they aren't quiverfull, they are pretty close, and I guess they have the right since they have a ton of money but I don't want them deciding stuff for me and acting all sanctimonious and like they should decide everything for everyone based on the Bible just because they have money.



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28 May 2015, 4:53 pm

Fnord wrote:
Oh, get over it! Your little rant here will have no effect on Gothard, his organization, or any of his business dealings. The man is in his eighties, so he's not long for this world, anyway. Just wait a while and he will no longer be around to torment your sense of propriety.


Gothard may not be long for this world, but doubtlessly his organization and legacy will long out live him. I am reminded of a quote by Berthold Brecht:

"Do not rejoice you men. The Bastard is dead, but the b***h that gave birth to him is still in heat."


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Janissy
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28 May 2015, 6:54 pm

shopping alternatives
alternatives to Hobby Lobby


I do like JoAnne Fabrics. Although I supose it's not the best if you don't want fabric.



pezar
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28 May 2015, 8:15 pm

"Christian" parents inevitably try isolating their kids from the wickedness of the outside world. If you believe that if your son accidentally finds a copy of Playboy in a garbage can he will turn into a child molester, it then makes sense to eliminate ALL temptation.

Years ago, maybe six years ago, fundie parents in California were arrested for beating a girl they'd adopted from Liberia to a point where she died. Her crime? Mispronouncing a single word in a homeschool textbook. A second Liberian girl had also been beaten, but she lived.

Years earlier this couple had adopted three girls, all sisters, from Liberia, in addition to having two biological kids. Neighbors said that they rarely saw the wife or children, and when they did the children were marching around the neighborhood under orders from Dad. The kids never played outside or traveled anywhere.

There were rumors that the parents belonged to an underground group of fundamentalists in their city called the Wide Area Church. The few people who were able to observe the kids said that the Liberian girls were treated much more harshly than the biological kids. (The parents and biological kids were white, the Liberians were of course black.) People pointed to fundamentalist texts that prescribed severe beatings for even very mild wrongs.

I've heard of a man who uses his woodworking skills to make paddles in order to chastise children with; he carves the words THE ROD into each one. There have been other cases of fundies beating kids to death-in one case a two year old was beaten for several hours straight in order to "break his will". He died.

Also, I once met a young woman online who was a member of an extremist Christian family who was kept indoors and not schooled for her entire childhood to "keep her pure". The only instruction she got was religious. It had the opposite effect-when she finally broke free she ended up in a series of abusive relationships and eventually got involved in extremely violent bondage sex. She was lamenting that it was all her parents' fault, that she really didn't even LIKE the kinky sex but felt trapped and addicted.

And then there's the woman who was led to believe that sex was something a woman endured for the sake of reproduction. Once she got to college, she quickly found that sex was enjoyable, contrary to what her parents said, and suddenly she was like a starving lion set loose in a herd of antelope. She simply could NOT get enough. Finally her parents showed up and dragged her away. The person who relayed this tale to me didn't know what happened to her afterwords.

Suppressing natural human instincts always has a bad end, if not for the parents then the kids.



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28 May 2015, 8:28 pm

Janissy wrote:
shopping alternatives
alternatives to Hobby Lobby


I do like JoAnne Fabrics. Although I supose it's not the best if you don't want fabric.


Hopefully Grandma isn't one of those types who says "Oh, why would you want THAT ratty old thing? It's a piece of junk! It has no value to you or anybody else! yadayadayada..." My mom kept letting interesting stuff go to the dump rather than let me have it. I lost an oak Art Deco desk and a cool 1920s mahogany chest of drawers, among other things. She refused to give me her dead father's pickup, and sold it for a few hundred bucks instead. A few months later, it was on the news, because it had been used in a burglary. She was heartbroken. Obviously, if I had it, it wouldn't have been viewed as a junk throwaway car for a burglar.

As for thrift stores, they're not so great anymore. I remember when they had really cool stuff. Now it's all cheap clothes and particle board furniture from the 80s.



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28 May 2015, 9:52 pm

Janissy wrote:
shopping alternatives
alternatives to Hobby Lobby


I do like JoAnne Fabrics. Although I supose it's not the best if you don't want fabric.



Thanks for the link but those places do not have how-to art books, sketch/drawing/watercolor pads, charcoal, wide variety of paints, brushes, and colored pencils. Hobby Lobby has a lot of selection and it has a 40% coupon they publish every Sunday to be used Monday through Saturday so if I want to buy a book, I can get it 40% which isn't bad. Michael's coupons are for 30% off and there's a lot of exclusions all in very fine print typed all over the bottom of the coupon. I really hate that. A coupon shouldn't have twenty exclusions. HL has sale priced items excluded but not books, unless they are on sale. So, it's a great place to find art supplies rather than stuff like fabrics.

I am not just posting this to talk about a place I never visit I go with a coupon nearly once a week to buy a book if nothing else. I just bought a big pack of colored pencils last week so I am very familiar with what it is they carry. Although many people only see the home goods type things they sell like furniture, lamps and wall decor they keep in the first part of the store, not to mention the dreaded fake flowers which I think of as dusters and dust collectors and since I'm allergic to dust, I don't keep stuff like that and don't buy them, they have so much more than just little nick-nacks and glass collectibles like piggy banks.

Go to the back of the store, you will see all their merchandise that doesn't revolve around decorating your home, for the true hobbiest or enthusiast. They keep that stuff hidden away. They also have a lot of frames and a framing department back there.



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28 May 2015, 11:16 pm

walmart and others are a bit anti gun and fund anti gun groups. I try to shop at winco as much as I can for food, but for other things I do shop at walmart oddly including ammunition.
hl probably like walmart want your money whether they hate you or not. greed. its the only reason an anti gun store would sell the very things they'll against. but like others said they have the right to spend their profits how they like, it doesn't directly affect you.

not really fair to say well because you sell stuff you no longer have freedom.



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29 May 2015, 7:41 am

sly279 wrote:
walmart and others are a bit anti gun and fund anti gun groups. I try to shop at winco as much as I can for food, but for other things I do shop at walmart oddly including ammunition.
hl probably like walmart want your money whether they hate you or not. greed. its the only reason an anti gun store would sell the very things they'll against. but like others said they have the right to spend their profits how they like, it doesn't directly affect you.

not really fair to say well because you sell stuff you no longer have freedom.

It does directly affect me if HL funds religious fanatics. I am surrounded by them. It's a major issue here. People use religion as an excuse to hate and control others. It's not just about their personal choice, their personal faith. Believe me, they have an agenda and their agenda is to cross that line.



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29 May 2015, 7:51 am

pezar wrote:
Janissy wrote:
shopping alternatives
alternatives to Hobby Lobby


I do like JoAnne Fabrics. Although I supose it's not the best if you don't want fabric.


Hopefully Grandma isn't one of those types who says "Oh, why would you want THAT ratty old thing? It's a piece of junk! It has no value to you or anybody else! yadayadayada..." My mom kept letting interesting stuff go to the dump rather than let me have it. I lost an oak Art Deco desk and a cool 1920s mahogany chest of drawers, among other things. She refused to give me her dead father's pickup, and sold it for a few hundred bucks instead. A few months later, it was on the news, because it had been used in a burglary. She was heartbroken. Obviously, if I had it, it wouldn't have been viewed as a junk throwaway car for a burglar.

As for thrift stores, they're not so great anymore. I remember when they had really cool stuff. Now it's all cheap clothes and particle board furniture from the 80s.


Mahogany and oak went to the dump? Now I'm sad. :( :( :( :( Lucky for me I had the hoarding type of grandma so in amongst the bric-a-brac was a first edition of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged. Maybe Grandpa was a libertarian? :lol: :lol: :lol: I'm not a huge Ayn Rand fan but first editions are hard to come by. He must have bought it in college.

The loss of that exquisite furniture is pretty sad.



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29 May 2015, 8:03 am

There's Micheal's, and there is A.C. Moore's. Don't they sell the same stuff as Hobby Lobby?



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29 May 2015, 8:26 am

naturalplastic wrote:
There's Micheal's, and there is A.C. Moore's. Don't they sell the same stuff as Hobby Lobby?

It seems that way but HL is actually in a different league than Michael's. It's a lot better.

Not sure what A.C. Moore is like since we don't have those where I live.

I was in a class with a couple of people from the HL family so I have actually met two of the immediate family and I am disappointed at this revelation. Had no idea they were any more than a religious family with a lot of kids which is not what I am criticizing. It's the right to do what you choose to...as in have kids or not, which is nobody's business but yours. This is another reason I am so disillusioned.


And while we should all have that right, it pays to be cognizant of certain realities. We all know the chances of most people landing a lucrative income just because they have an army of kids is not realistic so it's good to plan what you can realistically deal with but the far right are painting this rosy picture on it like it's a breeze to have more children than you can handle but it will lead to hardship, difficulty and trauma for the vast majority of people and they need to know the realities instead of being sold this idyllic utopia of family togetherness where everyone gets along, there's always plenty of money and room, it's so easy and affordable to take a family of say, fifteen kids on an expensive trip. That is not the reality for so many people, just for the few. So, there's a good chance of getting in over your head and being overwhelmed later and I would tell people of this because I know from my own family what it's like to be poor with a lot of kids and I feel like I should tell people this since they are not hearing about the difficulties, they are being covered up.