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aspergian_mutant
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17 Apr 2007, 3:47 pm

Quote:


I had made a post earlier,
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... highlight=
someone said they wanted evidence (or some such statement),
well,
here is some background information for you all to chew on and think about.



0_equals_true
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17 Apr 2007, 4:26 pm

I read this before. As it said it is different when she is looking for a relationship. Maybe this is an internal conflict. Though some women swear they don't want kids at all. I think I might be that they have these preferences, but not practical. Most choose one or the other. It probably is quite hard though.



aspergian_mutant
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17 Apr 2007, 7:44 pm

Its just I constantly hear the men whine why why why and how can I fix this or that and make my life better, the first step is to understand the issues and the things that come into play, then take a hard look at your own self and see what you can do or not do that could make the difference, just sitting back whining not only looks bad but solves nothing.

If people really want to live a better quality of social life and to increase the chances of even having a social life then they got to do something other then hiding in their shells (rooms/homes) and doing nothing but whining on the net or surfing and not coming into physical contact with people.



aspergian_mutant
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17 Apr 2007, 7:49 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
I read this before. As it said it is different when she is looking for a relationship. Maybe this is an internal conflict. Though some women swear they don't want kids at all. I think I might be that they have these preferences, but not practical. Most choose one or the other. It probably is quite hard though.


even if they do not want kids, the choices they make due to their desires are still based on instincts,
on what looks and feels to be attractive to them.



SteveK
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17 Apr 2007, 8:31 pm

aspergian_mutant wrote:
Its just I constantly hear the men whine why why why and how can I fix this or that and make my life better, the first step is to understand the issues and the things that come into play, then take a hard look at your own self and see what you can do or not do that could make the difference, just sitting back whining not only looks bad but solves nothing.

If people really want to live a better quality of social life and to increase the chances of even having a social life then they got to do something other then hiding in their shells (rooms/homes) and doing nothing but whining on the net or surfing and not coming into physical contact with people.


You are either lucky and blind, or you DON'T have AS. BTW I am not staying in my room all day, etc... I HAVE tried, etc... Frankly, it would have solved more if I had just given up earlier!

Steve



Rjaye
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17 Apr 2007, 9:00 pm

Did you READ the article? It seems you picked out what you agree with and discarded the rest.

Fifteen percent more likely to pick the butcher male? And somehow a male just oozing testosterone was the one to make the best babies? Yet, the longest living males are those with less testosterone, which indicates to me a more successful human healthwise, but no, no other explanation would do. Like maybe all the butcher male could be could for was more motile sperm, not necessarily quality.

This article is just leeching contradictions.

According to the article, women who were just looking for a quick fling during ovulation chose the "more masculine" males. Those who wanted a relationship looked for different characteristics. Also, and this casts the entire study in doubt, only certain women were asked back for the follow-up study. Loading the deck anyone?

And was it fifteen percent of the women who chose "macho" men? How was that number arrived at? The article doesn't say, but given the picking and weeding out, I couldn't take the study seriously anyway. One study a theory doesn't make. Given that number, that means MOST women didn't chose a more macho male. 85 percent.

Also--who in the hell chose who was macho, and who was not as masculine? Brad Pitt masculine? Oh, puhleeze. Very, very pretty, yes; butch, no. I would have liked to have been a fly on that wall. HAHAHA.

And if you Aspy boys feel you're getting screwed socially, and not in a good way, there are therapies to help. Go for it! You deserve to be happy, just like everyone else. Don't let these bummer studies depress you even more!

Social training couldn't hurt. And if you've given up, well, I can understand that, too, as I'm feeling that way myself, but own it then. Don't blame the world, because then all that's being done is ruining any satisfaction or happiness that may be possible. Don't let the bastards and bastardettes get you down.

From a female who's too quirky for the boys--not NT enough, I guess....

Take care, you guys. I mean it. If there's still something you can do, do it.

Rjaye.



aspergian_mutant
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17 Apr 2007, 10:38 pm

SteveK wrote:
aspergian_mutant wrote:
Its just I constantly hear the men whine why why why and how can I fix this or that and make my life better, the first step is to understand the issues and the things that come into play, then take a hard look at your own self and see what you can do or not do that could make the difference, just sitting back whining not only looks bad but solves nothing.

If people really want to live a better quality of social life and to increase the chances of even having a social life then they got to do something other then hiding in their shells (rooms/homes) and doing nothing but whining on the net or surfing and not coming into physical contact with people.


You are either lucky and blind, or you DON'T have AS. BTW I am not staying in my room all day, etc... I HAVE tried, etc... Frankly, it would have solved more if I had just given up earlier!

Steve


actually I do have AS and for many lonely years I suffered, but eventually I found this place,
on this forum I have met my mate, we have been together now for nearly 3 years.

for most all my life I did not know what was wrong with my life,
once I found out about AS and what it meant and started understanding it and my self because of it I was able to open my eyes and make some changes in my life for the better, it was not easy, but I got sick of feeling sorry for my self and my life never getting better, I put my best foot forward and started doing something about it and did not give up, I am becoming every day more happier with my life then it was before, no one was going to change it for me, I had to do it my self for my self by my self, and I am learning and growing more and more every day.

I am not saying the article is all true or right, I was just saying a lot goes into the social issues in humans and dating and mating, a whole evolution of things, and trying to keep much of this in mind and trying to keep an open mind about things does help.



SteveK
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17 Apr 2007, 11:01 pm

aspergian_mutant wrote:
SteveK wrote:
aspergian_mutant wrote:
Its just I constantly hear the men whine why why why and how can I fix this or that and make my life better, the first step is to understand the issues and the things that come into play, then take a hard look at your own self and see what you can do or not do that could make the difference, just sitting back whining not only looks bad but solves nothing.

If people really want to live a better quality of social life and to increase the chances of even having a social life then they got to do something other then hiding in their shells (rooms/homes) and doing nothing but whining on the net or surfing and not coming into physical contact with people.


You are either lucky and blind, or you DON'T have AS. BTW I am not staying in my room all day, etc... I HAVE tried, etc... Frankly, it would have solved more if I had just given up earlier!

Steve


actually I do have AS and for many lonely years I suffered, but eventually I found this place,
on this forum I have met my mate, we have been together now for nearly 3 years.

for most all my life I did not know what was wrong with my life,
once I found out about AS and what it meant and started understanding it and my self because of it I was able to open my eyes and make some changes in my life for the better, it was not easy, but I got sick of feeling sorry for my self and my life never getting better, I put my best foot forward and started doing something about it and did not give up, I am becoming every day more happier with my life then it was before, no one was going to change it for me, I had to do it my self for my self by my self, and I am learning and growing more and more every day.

I am not saying the article is all true or right, I was just saying a lot goes into the social issues in humans and dating and mating, a whole evolution of things, and trying to keep much of this in mind and trying to keep an open mind about things does help.


You just seemed to think it was SO easy, etc... HECK, I BY CHANCE met a woman last sunday. I made a statement to her that SOUNDED like a pickup line, but I said it SO quickly, etc... that it took me a minute or two(LITERALLY) to figure that out. When we sat down, I explained myself, and she joked about it. I said "OH, you can take it THAT way too, but you're probably already married". She WAS! In fact, her husband soon after that sat down beside her. She WAS kind of cute. Anyway, between my shyness, social ineptitude, honor, age, standards, it is FAR from easy to find someone. HECK, one reason I work as I do now was to try to find someone. SERIOUSLY! It IS one thing I considered. I see HUNDREDS more people per year, travel all over the US, etc... I have gone HUNDREDS of miles out of my way, and spent HUNDREDS of dollars to meet a few more people.

Steve



aspergian_mutant
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18 Apr 2007, 1:36 am

SteveK wrote:
aspergian_mutant wrote:
SteveK wrote:
aspergian_mutant wrote:
Its just I constantly hear the men whine why why why and how can I fix this or that and make my life better, the first step is to understand the issues and the things that come into play, then take a hard look at your own self and see what you can do or not do that could make the difference, just sitting back whining not only looks bad but solves nothing.

If people really want to live a better quality of social life and to increase the chances of even having a social life then they got to do something other then hiding in their shells (rooms/homes) and doing nothing but whining on the net or surfing and not coming into physical contact with people.


You are either lucky and blind, or you DON'T have AS. BTW I am not staying in my room all day, etc... I HAVE tried, etc... Frankly, it would have solved more if I had just given up earlier!

Steve


actually I do have AS and for many lonely years I suffered, but eventually I found this place,
on this forum I have met my mate, we have been together now for nearly 3 years.

for most all my life I did not know what was wrong with my life,
once I found out about AS and what it meant and started understanding it and my self because of it I was able to open my eyes and make some changes in my life for the better, it was not easy, but I got sick of feeling sorry for my self and my life never getting better, I put my best foot forward and started doing something about it and did not give up, I am becoming every day more happier with my life then it was before, no one was going to change it for me, I had to do it my self for my self by my self, and I am learning and growing more and more every day.

I am not saying the article is all true or right, I was just saying a lot goes into the social issues in humans and dating and mating, a whole evolution of things, and trying to keep much of this in mind and trying to keep an open mind about things does help.


You just seemed to think it was SO easy, etc... HECK, I BY CHANCE met a woman last sunday. I made a statement to her that SOUNDED like a pickup line, but I said it SO quickly, etc... that it took me a minute or two(LITERALLY) to figure that out. When we sat down, I explained myself, and she joked about it. I said "OH, you can take it THAT way too, but you're probably already married". She WAS! In fact, her husband soon after that sat down beside her. She WAS kind of cute. Anyway, between my shyness, social ineptitude, honor, age, standards, it is FAR from easy to find someone. HECK, one reason I work as I do now was to try to find someone. SERIOUSLY! It IS one thing I considered. I see HUNDREDS more people per year, travel all over the US, etc... I have gone HUNDREDS of miles out of my way, and spent HUNDREDS of dollars to meet a few more people.

Steve


A couple of my worst problems are
(1)
boundary's, I have a vary difficult time with them.
the only reason I have been able to hold a job in the last few years
is because I do not have to deal with people for the most part unless I want to,
when it comes to one on one with a person I never seem to know when to stop
or what is proper or not to the conversations.
(2)
braking the Ice with someone, I can never seem to get past the hello,
I never know what to say and much of the time it most always seems to come out wrong.

The ONLY reason me and the girl I am with now hit it off in the beginning is because
we both had blogs that we could explore and get to know each other with,
and we both explored each others back posts here on this forum before getting
to know each other via email and phone,
err, we sorta hyper-focused on each other ya might say,
it majorly helped with our communications and getting to know each other.

but, in the last few years I have been forcing my self to get out and socialize
more and more, each time I do I learn more and can see and understand more,
it all helps, it helps me and it helps my relationships with people,
I never said it was easy, in fact there has been tons of times I just wanted to
crawl off and hide in my Lil aspie shell forever.



Aspie_Chav
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18 Apr 2007, 2:15 am

I read the article, and I cannot understand why woman would wan't to get themselves pregnent with a one of flig. Being a single mother isn't goal.