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Raph522
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07 May 2007, 9:29 am

natty wrote:
Someone who i am on several e mail lists with , killed themselves last night , but yesterday and for several days before they had been involved in arguments on the list and I have no doubt that her being verbally attacked , insulted and reprimanded on line in front of people would have contributed to her feeling desperate enough to end it , obviously she was a vulnerable person any way before the argument started , but i feel people on line have unknowingly contributed to her death. I am so upset , i was not part of that argument , however I also didnt step in to stop it . ive now put up a long plea for people to take care and think before they post , using insulting , rude or attcking words, online none of us really know the mental state of another person and we could be the one who is just nasty enough to push someone over the edge .
i am so upset , cant stop shaking its making me want to leave my email lists forever , I dont ever want to be a party to making someone do that.

I'm sorry this happened and that you're taking this hard :( sopho is right though, it's not you're fault.


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07 May 2007, 9:40 am

I know it wasn't my fault exactly, as i wasn't involved in the disagreement , i hadn't posted on that subject at all , but maybe im as guilty, by omission , I didnt think the person was struggling with what was said because she continued posting and seemed ok to counter the other peoples arguments , but it was obvious to me on her first post that she was angry or upset about something , and as the post and the disagreement was over something so trivial , I guessed something more was at the route of her being upset , but obviously i didnt think on it enough to step in and tell people to quit so the person faught the argument without any back up , when she shouldnt have had to fight at all. she was an aspie , and i do think it was a relvant fact , because she had a habit of saying what she thought and could be quite blunt about it , so she appeared generally to be aggresive although i dont for one minute think she was . The whole argument started off because she posted * why is this post here it is not relveant to the subject ? * Its a straight forward question , probably much like the questions I would ask , although I long since learned that speaking your mind about issues like this do end up getting me introuble because the world doesnt work in the aspie way of things being in the right place always , being logical or following logical rules or procedure. I should have pointed this out to them all and i didnt . i am guilty by omission.



Raph522
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07 May 2007, 9:50 am

natty wrote:
I know it wasn't my fault exactly, as i wasn't involved in the disagreement , i hadn't posted on that subject at all , but maybe im as guilty, by omission , I didnt think the person was struggling with what was said because she continued posting and seemed ok to counter the other peoples arguments , but it was obvious to me on her first post that she was angry or upset about something , and as the post and the disagreement was over something so trivial , I guessed something more was at the route of her being upset , but obviously i didnt think on it enough to step in and tell people to quit so the person faught the argument without any back up , when she shouldnt have had to fight at all. she was an aspie , and i do think it was a relvant fact , because she had a habit of saying what she thought and could be quite blunt about it , so she appeared generally to be aggresive although i dont for one minute think she was . The whole argument started off because she posted * why is this post here it is not relveant to the subject ? * Its a straight forward question , probably much like the questions I would ask , although I long since learned that speaking your mind about issues like this do end up getting me introuble because the world doesnt work in the aspie way of things being in the right place always , being logical or following logical rules or procedure. I should have pointed this out to them all and i didnt . i am guilty by omission.

People can seem just as together in real life and still have those feelings. it is possible that there was a lot going on in here life and this was just one thing that added to it?
You are not guilty of anything because over such a small thing very few people(if any) would have seen this as the result.


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07 May 2007, 12:38 pm

Yes, Raph is right, you shouldn't feel like it is in any way your fault. No one would have predicted something like that.



Aspie_for_the_Lord
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07 May 2007, 2:00 pm

i am sorry to hear of this tragedy...

but it isnt your fault Natty... a person is only responsible for their own actions, inaction does not consititute blame if you didnt know the outcome before the fact...

E.G. seeing someone collapse and have a fit and do nothing or contact anyone, and then them dying, would constitiute guilt, or say.. knowing somone was going to be hurt or murdered... and doing nothing about it...

but if, for example... a tired person who was staying with you decided to drive home, and gets into a car accident, you shouldnt feel guilty because they drove from your house...

you cannot know the future of events...


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