Bullying

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bullying to me is when someone bothers someone else in whatever way they can
in real life and on the net the reason is plain-they're pricks who wanna make others feel worse to make themselves feel better

Like many here, I was very badly bullied from late grammar school right through high school (by different populations of bullies, since they were private schools and weren't the same students). Did I ever bully anyone? That's a good qauestion. I certainly was quick to join in verbal abuse of one fellow band member when another kid used to call him a geek. I guess that I was trying to fit in, and probably get back, at an innocent victim.

I think that bullying is targeted at helpless individuals because of their differences from the norm. It is a form of brutal social ostracization. In that manner, it is very different from regular arguments and fights.

I was bullied from the age of 5 to 18. I've been burnt and even locked in a cage at one point I have taken part to some extent (though not the extent of which I was bullied) in bullying (verbal) which I can't undo and regret. So I can't complain about the bullying I went through.

To me bullying is repeatedly insulting or assaulting someone regardless if done in a group or on on your own. It's pretty humiliating.

Bulling is when someone latches on to someone who is upset or angered and tries to exploit this. Bullies try and test people to see how to bully them. It is sadistic behaviour; it elevates the bully and draws attention away from their own weaknesses.

There are many other reason why people bully, Such as to avoid being bullied themselves in a culture of bulling. Also fear of the unknown or inheriting or being associated with unpopular things.

Last edited by 0_equals_true on 17 May 2007, 10:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

I miss the line because I am often crucial in my judgments, detatched, objective and analytical.
I've been told I come off as cold and intimidating. Often threatening. I've been used as validation for people who need a reason for why they feel like worthless s**t more than once because I did not get it.
I often use biting sarcasm too and its often misinterpreted as personal attacks when it is not. people seem to be shocked by this idea.
I lack the knowledge and understanding in this area severely.

A bully can be something different in anyone's eyes.
To me, a bully is someone INTENTIONALLY shooting out nonsense in the form of a personal attack.

Strong emphasis on intentionally, generally because if you do not know how the other person is working, thinking or their personality you do not specifically know whether it was a personal attack of a objective analysis, if they were aware of their overstepping or not, ect.

0_equal_true also has a good analysis, people did not exploit my emotions per se, they did however exploit my weaknesses.

Absolutely. People with AS are just as capable.
I could mentally destroy someone if I really wanted to and I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one here that could.


Its possible for some people indeed.
With knowledge that you and someone else on this board had a bit of a trifle (I don't know what happened) you seem to be looking for a reason and cause behind this? An observation of sorts.

There are many reasons to why people bully another.
I've know some strange people that also bullied someone else because they liked them as well.
Its hard to tell without analysis of the actual situation of said bullying.

Bullying is not nice and should be stopped, having been bullied myself on an autism IRC network recently (a few weeks ago) I know full well what it is like. the motives of the bullies (in this case so-called "friends" who wanted me to "see sense and realise the truth" about my long-distance sweetheart) were to split me and my long distance sweetheart apart, these motives were never achieved by the bullies (which included one of the owners of the IRC network who took it upon herself to spread lies about my sweetheart), the only thing the bullies did achieve was driving myself and my sweetheart away, as the two of us still speak on MSN and another IRC network

Personally I have never bullied anyone myself, it's a cowardly act

In real life, I had been bullied throughout my school years, eventually by a lot of those who I was friends with, this was down to my excellent computer skills and intelligence, they called me a "spoiled brat", which still makes me cry to this day (I'm just about crying typing this ). I still had a few friends by the end thankfully so the bullies had not won in that case

Last edited by Pikachu on 17 May 2007, 11:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

mhm. I have a lot of knowledge in the Psychology field myself.
It does come down to the intentions, the personal interpretations, ect.
While absolutely, we have been bullied and we surely cam bully to.
I've done it, I've done it on this board - or came off as so.
I use 'bullying terms' as emphasis rather than personal attack. Someone who takes things personally would misinterpret this, and this is quite frankly my own damn fault for not presenting things better. However sometimes admittedly yes, I get downright aggravated at someone and will knock their head off on a personal level just from frustration.

I personally tackle everything objectively but not everyone does. Something I say may be deemed offensive and threatening when to me it is absolutely not that way. Someone insulting my competence, my judgment based on ( what I view as ) irrational logic without reason behind them I don't take to very well. I get frustrated, aggravated. It gets to me as it doesn't make sense to me. To my personal values which are highly based upon objective logic, intelligence and competence.

Everyone views things differently, there is no unity in how one thinks, feels and acts.
Thus each problem has multiple answers, reasons and viewpoints.
There in lays the 'human' side.


I strongly believe there is a reason behind everything and because humans are diverse in their working there will be no definite universal reason to bullying. There will be a general reason but the deeper meaning and causes will differentiate.

Last edited by agentcyclosarin on 17 May 2007, 11:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

In the context of Internet forums bullying is more often in the form of trolling. A troll wants one or two things to have all discussion on the forum directly or indirectly about them and/or to stop all discussion on anything.

Absolutely.

Yes, like useless commentary on "that person is fat" whether or not it was a personal attack or general observation it is deemed "cruel" or "bullying" whether the person it was addressed to takes it as such also depends on if they take it as a mean remark or an obvious statement. When I was bigger when I was younger and people called me fat I didn't give two hooties, it was like "well yes, congratulations for having the observation skills of a f*****g cockroach." however for someone else it would be damaging and hurtful.


Myth indeed. Especially if one of your obsessions or natural analysis abilities or whatever lay in the field of psychology. We can be VERY good at mind games.


True, true, and I do take part in transgressive behavior myself - especially when i was much younger. I still am quite macabre and controversial in nature by default. Its part of how I am.
Its also on how one reacts or interprets it.
There's many components to such a thing.

Yes bulling requires some thinking that is all. Just because we have deficiencies doesn't mean we can't pick things up.

I'm a reductionist and my first answer is overly complex if anything. There has to be a rather simple reason why a person engages in negative behavior to get attention (or prevent anyone else from getting attention). Which maybe as simple as they can not get it via positive means. I might be willing to accept another variable which maybe that some people need more attention than others.

Now this could be difficult...

There are different ways of bullying and differences between bullying as adults and bullying as children.

When one party (the bully) uses there advantage over the other (the bullied) to alter there conduct.
The advantage may be physical, financial, social or political.

Often a bully will recruit others to join in now the bullying is done by a mob (there is a theory about mobs that is the IQ of a mob is the reciprocal sum of its components) a mob will grow and once a critical mass is obtained anyone remaining outside the mob is very likely to be bulled by the mob.


I am ashamed to say I have been part of a mob - It is frightening.

Bullying can become part of a culture certain workplaces are know for it (armed forces, police, big business).


And some...
Since coming to WP and confronting my own past, admitting my own autism have I actuality remembered my primary school playground for more than 40 years.

I won't recount those memories here I figure we all have them and they hurt.


Now that one I still don't know.
I wonder if the bully is really cognisant of what he or she is doing.
It is incredibly difficult to tell bullies that they are bullying.
I suspect as well particularly among children and adolescents on the net there is a mob culture element - 'as long as we all are putting the boot into ... then they are not putting it into me'.

Although when exposed bullies appear remorseful I have never known one that will not resort to bullying again. Nowadays I never give a bully a second chance.

Yes i agree bullys are the worst! Especially, ones with moderator status who use that power to step outside their guide-lines and abuse their privileges. For example; deleted, moving, threatening to delete or edit other members posts. For acting like they are above the rules themselves. Then when they get knocked down a notch acting like crybabies

well i have been bullied in my younger days, but i was taught an effective method of dealing with bullies, so it never lasted long.
I have also been accused of bullying, but to my way of thinking i would say i have never bullied anyone.
Sure, i have picked on people before; but to my mind bullying involves repeated behaviour against someone who is in someway disadvantaged to you.
If two people are equally matched, then i think it is unjustified for one to call the other a bully, they are merely playing a victim for whatever purpose.
The behaviour must be repeated too.
eg. when i was at school, i beat someone up for their lunch-money ( i did ask first ). This does not make me a bully; i just happened to have no money that day and needed some.

When someone is incessantly ridiculed, put down, pushed around (literally or figuratively) by someone else. To me, it often seems an obsession on the part of the bully, to make the bull-ee's life miserable in every way they can.