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Ticker
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07 Sep 2007, 12:02 pm

Well in some ways he's already more feminine than I am. I wish he would just quit work so I don't have to see him every day. Unfortunately he is a temp worker and I overheard one of the supes praising him extensively so I have a feeling they will keep him on.



0_equals_true
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07 Sep 2007, 12:58 pm

Maybe you should voice you concerns to them. Seriously you talked about contacting a minister/parents but in this case it is at least more relevant to as he works at the same place, goes to your place of worship. You should inform the people involve and out right tell him that you’re not interested.



Ticker
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08 Sep 2007, 2:02 pm

Thing is my employer will fire someone at the drop of a hat after a sexual harrassment report. BUT the problem is the other employees have always turned on any woman that reports harrassment till she is forced to leave the company.

Get this- They moved him to other side of room and he was crooning at me when I was joking around with another group of people on the opposite side of the room. We were talking about stupid commericals and so forth. Someone mentioned how they hate the Sonic drive-in commericals with those two goofy guys and I said a little too loud "But I love those guys" and he bolted up like a meerkat jumping out of its hole to look at me. So now who knows what he thinks I was talking about and it has probably gotten his hopes up since I said the word "guys".

I talked to one of the church leaders who seem to take me seriously. She told me to talk to the minister. I left a voicemail for the minister that I needed to talk, but haven't gotten a call back. I'm sick with a respiratory infection so I haven't felt like pursuing it further and won't be going to church. Have dr orders to stay home and drink codeine cough syrup all weekend. :?



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10 Sep 2007, 2:20 am

I know this is not funny, but...

The best way to get rid of a guy is to tell him you love him and want to marry him and quit your job and have 10 kids.

Works like a charm...

Seriously, good luck.



TechnoMonk
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10 Sep 2007, 4:02 am

shopaholic wrote:
Have you ever thought that your guy may latch onto you because you are just about the only person who seems not to mind talking to him?



Is it possible that he already realises that you're gay and just wants a friend that doesn't judge him in a sexual way? If he has been "sissyfied" by only ever being around his mother, it could be that he only feels comfortable around females. The problem there is that most girls will think that the only reason he's talking to them is because he's interested in them. Enter you, loads older, gay, obviously someone that wouldn't ever be interested. The perfect neutral friend.


Of course, if I'm wrong and you encourage him it could get worse. Maybe telling him how things are would solve the whole problem once and for all though.


I actually do feel sorry for this guy. I know I'd go out of my way to speak to him. I may have made a lot of effort in my life not to be the one that stands out, and so I may actually appear to fit in, but I know how it feels to be the odd one out.



zee
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13 Sep 2007, 7:20 am

The best thing is just to ignore these people. Any kind of feedback feeds their behaviour. Don't even look at them.

Other tricks are being gross (picking your nose, spitting, etc in front of them) or patronizing and pitying them.



MishLuvsHer2Boys
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13 Sep 2007, 7:27 am

I simply ignore and walk away myself.



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14 Sep 2007, 1:07 am

One thing that worked with an ex-boyfriend who became a stalker was to say that if he made any form of contact with me, I'd call the cops and get a restraining order. The reason I broke up with him in the first place was that we had absolutely nothing in common, and he freaked me out by talking about marriage after 2 weeks of dating! It was when I broke up with him that he started stalking me, but the threats of a restraining order and stalking charges worked because he knew he'd get fired from his job and it would be hard for him to get another one with a criminal record. That was 4 years ago, and I haven't heard from him since.


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TechnoMonk
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14 Sep 2007, 1:41 pm

Marry me ADoyle!



[that was a joke :)]



Last edited by TechnoMonk on 16 Sep 2007, 6:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

Ticker
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15 Sep 2007, 12:05 am

I tried the cold shoulder treatment -that is ignoring him and walking on when he has spoke to me the past two weeks. Apparently he is dumber than snot even though his mom tried to impress me with the fact he is working on his masters degree. He doesn't "get" that I am not interested when I do not respond to him because he keeps finding reasons to take the long way around the building and walk by my desk and speak to me.

It also occurred to me that he only speaks to me when no one else is in the room or hallway. That is stalker behavior if they don't want anyone else around when they approach a woman.

I thought I was going to get understanding from the church, but the 3 women I have tried to talk to about it all think its funny and that I am just being silly. And two of them are leaders in the church. I was told today when I saw one of the women in town to "just come on back to church because we miss you". Or rather he misses me. The others never bothered to get to know me except one woman, but she's out of town for a month so she isn't the one missing me. I only go there for the sermons and the monthly game nights when the one woman who speaks to me is there playing cards so we can talk because she is very intellectual. Yeah I talked to her about him too and she understands my feelings but just thinks "its cute" that he is so enraptured by me.



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17 Sep 2007, 6:45 pm

Ticker wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
He sounds like letsgoblues.

People like that won't leave you alone unless they are blatenly told. Lie to him and say something about "my boyfriend".


Well I'm lesbian so I can't say my boyfriend. This guy is a clueless git because I look extremely tomboyish and besides that I go to a church that is at least 1/3 lesbian. The church is known for being gay/lesbian so you think this git would kinda figure out I'm gay.

He's the kinda guy you can tell has never been on a date and I think since I am so Aspie-ish he thinks oh she's a loser so she must be desperate for a date or something. Not!


In my experience, ignoring these sorts of fellows only makes the problem worse. Instead, just tell him that you're flattered* by his interest, but that you're already seeing someone**.

*No, you're definitely not flattered. He's a loser and his unwanted attentions are creeping you out. However, you want him to bugger off, not turn into some kind of vengeful stalker. In this case, the ends justify the means.

**Whether he infers that "someone" is a guy or that "someone" is a girl is unimportant.

"I'm flattered, but I'm already dating someone. Sorry." Try that.



Ticker
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18 Sep 2007, 11:53 am

Hazelwudi, should I still tell him anything because the last two days I have seen him he did not speak to me when he passed in the hallway?



Anna4077
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18 Sep 2007, 11:06 pm

I know you didn't ask my opinion,but next time he passes you in the hallway, perhaps you could mutter "as*hole" just loud enough for him to hear?

Either that or stop using deodorent.



TechnoMonk
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19 Sep 2007, 4:40 am

*tell him*



JWLuke787
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24 Sep 2007, 8:24 pm

Ticker wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
He sounds like letsgoblues.

People like that won't leave you alone unless they are blatenly told. Lie to him and say something about "my boyfriend".


Well I'm lesbian so I can't say my boyfriend. This guy is a clueless git because I look extremely tomboyish and besides that I go to a church that is at least 1/3 lesbian. The church is known for being gay/lesbian so you think this git would kinda figure out I'm gay.

He's the kinda guy you can tell has never been on a date and I think since I am so Aspie-ish he thinks oh she's a loser so she must be desperate for a date or something. Not!


Why must you be negative about it? He probably thinks the world of you because he believes you are more accepting than other women. He is probably thinking, "Wow, this girl actually treats me like a human being. Maybe she's different than the other women who ignore me or treat me like %#^&." Of course, when he realizes that his women problems are completely his fault and not the girl's problem he might begin to understand how life works. With that being said, don't lie to him, just tell him the truth upfront. Its the only way he'll ever improve and have a chance with someone else in the future.

[If you find out that he has AS refer him to this site, it has helped me out considerably]



JWLuke787
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24 Sep 2007, 8:30 pm

Anna4077 wrote:
I know you didn't ask my opinion,but next time he passes you in the hallway, perhaps you could mutter "as*hole" just loud enough for him to hear?

Either that or stop using deodorent.


You're talking about a guy with aspergers and yet you still want to use a subtle hint to get a point across? WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU DO THAT?!? HAS THIS SITE TAUGHT YOU ANYTHING?!? [Now that my rage has subsided]

The only effective way to get ANY point across with someone who has AS is to say it blantantly and clearly using words. Not body language.