Should we inform our romantic interests of our condition?
cyberdad wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
Just like if a 45 year old woman had a threesome in college, that's not something her current boyfriend needs to know. Nor does anyone need to know who your first kiss or first sex partner was.
Wow! I never cease to be amazed/surprised on this forum
My first girlfriend, who I believe was on the autism spectrum, after we were no longer a couple, went through a period of going to bars and going home with guys she met there for sex. A couple years later, she got married, to somebody I think may have been hearing impaired (she herself wore a hearing aid). I've wondered whether she told her husband everything about her past.
nick007
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cyberdad wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
As others said on this thread, society views the spectrum as being synonymous with mental retardation (even though there's a huge difference between being on the spectrum vs being mentally challenged).
Wait! where did this come from?? Why bring in people who are intellectually impaired? low hanging fruit to pick on? I can tell you most NT people's perceptions of autism is savants who are in the MENSA range of IQ (not low IQ).
I understand there are nasty NTs who throw slurs like the "r" word but there's actually a lot of apsies on this forum who are in happy successful relationships and friendships whose partners and friends do not consider them "r,,,,,".
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
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cyberdad wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
As others said on this thread, society views the spectrum as being synonymous with mental retardation (even though there's a huge difference between being on the spectrum vs being mentally challenged).
Wait! where did this come from?? Why bring in people who are intellectually impaired? low hanging fruit to pick on? I can tell you most NT people's perceptions of autism is savants who are in the MENSA range of IQ (not low IQ).
I understand there are nasty NTs who throw slurs like the "r" word but there's actually a lot of apsies on this forum who are in happy successful relationships and friendships whose partners and friends do not consider them "r,,,,,".
Just like a lot of things in society, there's a double standard when it comes to the spectrum. Normies simultaneously view us as geniuses and mentally challenged (as the old saying goes "make your enemy sound simultaneously weak and dangerous").
I recall a poster on here saying "Even if a normie thinks we're a genius in one area, they still (in many cases) think we're mentally challenged at everything else." That's perhaps the best way to sum up how neurotypicals feel about us.
Are there some normies who don't stigmatize us? Absolutely. But since the one time I shared my condition with someone (in real life) outside my family, he ended up treating me like I'm mentally challenged, I'd be reluctant to inform anyone else in real life about my condition.
nick007 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
As others said on this thread, society views the spectrum as being synonymous with mental retardation (even though there's a huge difference between being on the spectrum vs being mentally challenged).
Wait! where did this come from?? Why bring in people who are intellectually impaired? low hanging fruit to pick on? I can tell you most NT people's perceptions of autism is savants who are in the MENSA range of IQ (not low IQ).
I understand there are nasty NTs who throw slurs like the "r" word but there's actually a lot of apsies on this forum who are in happy successful relationships and friendships whose partners and friends do not consider them "r,,,,,".
I mentioned how a past boss treated me like a mentally challenged 8 year old just because I'm on the spectrum. Even though he knew I had a college degree.
No matter how intelligent/educated we are, we're still prone to getting viewed as mentally challenged.
funeralxempire wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
I think disclosure at some point during the dating period would be appropriate.
Perhaps not straight away, however, due to discrimination issues.
Perhaps not straight away, however, due to discrimination issues.
Hi, I'm autism... I mean Austin, nice to meet you.
I can remember mentioning something about autism to my bf in the early days (not about me) but he misunderstood what I said and thought I said artistic so I just left it. I didn't bother mentioning it again and as time had gone on I don't think it's important.
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babybird wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
I think disclosure at some point during the dating period would be appropriate.
Perhaps not straight away, however, due to discrimination issues.
Perhaps not straight away, however, due to discrimination issues.
Hi, I'm autism... I mean Austin, nice to meet you.
I can remember mentioning something about autism to my bf in the early days (not about me) but he misunderstood what I said and thought I said artistic so I just left it. I didn't bother mentioning it again and as time had gone on I don't think it's important.
Artistic and autistic can sound similar I suppose given regional dialect variations.
It is good that you haven't seen it necessary to bring it up again.
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,130
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
blitzkrieg wrote:
babybird wrote:
I can remember mentioning something about autism to my bf in the early days (not about me) but he misunderstood what I said and thought I said artistic so I just left it. I didn't bother mentioning it again and as time had gone on I don't think it's important.
Artistic and autistic can sound similar I suppose given regional dialect variations.
It is good that you haven't seen it necessary to bring it up again.
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
nick007 wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
babybird wrote:
I can remember mentioning something about autism to my bf in the early days (not about me) but he misunderstood what I said and thought I said artistic so I just left it. I didn't bother mentioning it again and as time had gone on I don't think it's important.
Artistic and autistic can sound similar I suppose given regional dialect variations.
It is good that you haven't seen it necessary to bring it up again.
Oh God, haha.
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,130
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
SkinnyElephant wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
As others said on this thread, society views the spectrum as being synonymous with mental retardation (even though there's a huge difference between being on the spectrum vs being mentally challenged).
Wait! where did this come from?? Why bring in people who are intellectually impaired? low hanging fruit to pick on? I can tell you most NT people's perceptions of autism is savants who are in the MENSA range of IQ (not low IQ).
I understand there are nasty NTs who throw slurs like the "r" word but there's actually a lot of apsies on this forum who are in happy successful relationships and friendships whose partners and friends do not consider them "r,,,,,".
Just like a lot of things in society, there's a double standard when it comes to the spectrum. Normies simultaneously view us as geniuses and mentally challenged (as the old saying goes "make your enemy sound simultaneously weak and dangerous").
I recall a poster on here saying "Even if a normie thinks we're a genius in one area, they still (in many cases) think we're mentally challenged at everything else." That's perhaps the best way to sum up how neurotypicals feel about us.
Are there some normies who don't stigmatize us? Absolutely. But since the one time I shared my condition with someone (in real life) outside my family, he ended up treating me like I'm mentally challenged, I'd be reluctant to inform anyone else in real life about my condition.
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
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