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Snowy Owl
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31 Aug 2007, 4:41 am

I think I am very polite but I guess I can see how I can seem pretty rude too at times. Like if someone I don't know starts talking me I come off as I don't want talk to them which I don't but still. I try though.



2ukenkerl
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31 Aug 2007, 5:49 am

I'm usually polite to my DETRIMENT!



samtoo
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31 Aug 2007, 8:24 am

Yeah... I'd say I'm a polite kinda guy.


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poherokben
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31 Aug 2007, 8:40 am

Depends, I think I've recently become a naturally bitter person. But when I feel good/obligated to be polite I think I'm able to act courteously enough. Lord knows social formalities are the most tiring thing I know of.



9CatMom
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31 Aug 2007, 8:54 am

I am polite, because I was taught to be. Every so often, I have "foot in mouth" moments where I come across as rude because I say something careless.



MeshGearFox
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31 Aug 2007, 1:23 pm

2ukenkerl wrote:
I'm usually polite to my DETRIMENT!


My efforts to be polite used to be so excessive that it wound up as an invitation to walk all over me. I thought that's what I needed to do to make up for my unintended rudeness. I stopped trying after more than one humiliating episode. A few weeks ago, a co-worker was mocking my use of platitudes. The gist of it -- I do not "really" mean it when I say thank you and good morning. As I said, I kinda stopped trying. But I was upset and angry at the time. Saying good morning and how are you is not enough? I need to be an oscar-winning actor too? How do I do that?



frankwah
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31 Aug 2007, 10:00 pm

Yeah, I'm very polite.



Irulan
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01 Sep 2007, 9:41 am

Yes, politeness doesn't cost anything, after all. It can only help me.



2ukenkerl
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01 Sep 2007, 10:18 am

MeshGearFox wrote:
2ukenkerl wrote:
I'm usually polite to my DETRIMENT!


My efforts to be polite used to be so excessive that it wound up as an invitation to walk all over me. I thought that's what I needed to do to make up for my unintended rudeness. I stopped trying after more than one humiliating episode. A few weeks ago, a co-worker was mocking my use of platitudes. The gist of it -- I do not "really" mean it when I say thank you and good morning. As I said, I kinda stopped trying. But I was upset and angry at the time. Saying good morning and how are you is not enough? I need to be an oscar-winning actor too? How do I do that?


YEAH, they walk over ME also! So you don't mean it? REALLY?? THAT is an autistic symptom???? WOW!! !! ! I guess I know a LOT of autistic people then!

I am one of the FEW I know that says "excuse me" first, and goes OUT OF MY WAY(LITERALLY) to avoid a problem. I have walked DOZENS OF YARDS(METERS) sometimes JUST to avoid a situation. YET, most people that say "excuse me" to me usually say it AFTER they apparently TRIED to hit me! Often when there is PLENTY of space!

BTW I had a "sociology teacher" in college who called this garbage CODE! CODE was her way of saying(And she said this) that something is said because it is expected, but it has no meaning. Hello, good morning, etc... were just SOUNDS to her. Not even really words, as words are supposed to have meaning.

As for good morning? I have had MANY say that to me when it certainly hasn't been. I myself say "morning" only if they say "good morning" to me. I ALSO used to not say "under god" during the "pledge of allegiance". For those that don't know, the "pledge of allegiance" at least USED to be something nearly every kid said in school every day. "I pledge allegience to flag of the united states of america and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under god, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Forgive me if I even got that much wrong. I haven't said it for SO long and frankly that nation doesn't exist anymore. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pledge_of_Allegiance

As for that nation not existing anymore, that nation had scruples, ideals, etc... that TODAY are LAUGHED at for being phony and idyllic! HEY, some of my childhood was like that, so I know better.



LostInSpace
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01 Sep 2007, 10:25 am

I think I'm pretty polite.



AnnePande
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03 Sep 2007, 1:27 pm

I often think I am rude, or say things that may sound rude, because I am a real quibbler and tend to use a kind of very stringent logic sometimes... or maybe it's just because it's not all smalltalk topics I want to talk about all the time...
But it's not because I want to be rude, and I always get aware of it soon after, get very embarrassed and apologize many times. The funny thing is that most of the times other people don't think I was rude.
But of course there are situations where I wouldn't dare to hair-split... :p

An example. Once a girl I knew asked me: Have you been to any exams this year? I answered: No. - and nothing else.
She looked confused and asked me one more time. I still said no...
And the confusion was total: But haven't you been to any exams at all?!
But I'm saying: No! :p :roll: :lol:
(Maybe it's because people expect one to begin to chit-chat / smalltalk about, no, because this and that... but... I didn't think it was really important, so...)

Or (on a rainy summer day): "It's not summer today!"
"It can be summer even though it's raining; the trees are green you know... oh sorry, that was rude..." LOL



Tim_Tex
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03 Sep 2007, 4:21 pm

I am generally always polite.

Tim


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RainSong
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03 Sep 2007, 5:15 pm

I'm almost always polite. Of course, sometimes I make a remark (or more accurately don't make a remark) that comes across as rude; other than that (and a few rare exceptions), I'm polite. My mother is huge on manners and common courtesy, and I see no reason not to be.


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Jimbogf
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03 Sep 2007, 7:50 pm

Polite? It is such a struggle to be polite, "thank you" and "please" seems so awkward. I can not pull it off in real life, the only thing close to polite I can mutter out is "thnx" which is barely a whisper. Body language, the tone of my words, hard to determine if I'm being polite enough. So I come across as rude most of the time.. or so I think I do. However some reactions I have gotten from people because of my rudeness were surprising, give me a break. Sometimes I think NT's are more sensitive than aspies, I mean the slightest mess up in social etiquette and they get offended. :?
Though I often blurt out insults and remarks that really get at people, I can understand why those people get pissed though.

To me over-politeness is a ploy to gain something from you or hide what they actually think of you. I do not trust people that are polite. Of course I have a hard time trusting anybody.



Last edited by Jimbogf on 05 Sep 2007, 12:35 am, edited 2 times in total.

Prudence
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04 Sep 2007, 6:05 pm

I'm polite- and I think it surprises people! It seems that no one holds doors open for others or uses simple polite phrases anymore.



GoatOnFire
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04 Sep 2007, 6:45 pm

Hell yeah I'm polite. What the f**k kind of question is that anyway? :P


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