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Eric_C
Deinonychus
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14 Sep 2007, 3:42 pm

WARNING: Might contain dark content and neggitive thinking. Reader destrection is advised.

To me a meltdown or Outburst feels like.


Shocks in the head. Sharp objects stabing through you.
Everyone hates you and wants you to change. You feel worthless.
Then dark voices speak to you through people that you see.

"You no longer have freedom. We want to change your way of thinking so you'll be dull like us. You can't be happy or having fun, you have to be normal like us."

You have a since of never finding love or friendship.

You want to end this missory!! !! !! !! !! !



But I'm trying to have less of them or get rid of them forever or something.


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Fraya
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14 Sep 2007, 4:07 pm

Yogamat wrote:
LadyMacbeth wrote:
Same. Near exact, actually. Though I tend to hit myself and press against my face a lot. Being pinned down helps. My boyfriend has learned now how to handle me, and when it's likely to occur (after I've had a bad day, etc). He helps by putting his palm over my forehead and pressing.


There's a great yoga position I use to calm myself, which presses your forehead against the floor: Image

I think the pressing of the forehead is key to calming this kind of internal meltdown. And being curled up makes me feel protected, less vulnerable to the terrors of the outside world.


Weird I sleep like that sometimes.. never noticed it was also a yoga position.


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Plutonian_Persona
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14 Sep 2007, 4:07 pm

My meltdowns generally consist are getting so angry that I turn red in the face, throwing things (i.e. newspapers, magazines, and the occasional plate) and saying things that I really do regret (i.e. using people's most damaging secrets/weaknesses against them). After it's over, I usually retreat to my private room, cry, and rock myself in the fetal position for a while.

An addendum: about 5.5 years ago I started having seizures when I got totally stressed out, but thankfully through medicine and destressing techniques, I haven't had one for almost 2 years now.



Cameo
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14 Sep 2007, 9:07 pm

I'm generally triggered by frustration, especially if I'm stressed out and make a mistake. I get so mad at myself for making the mistake and feeling stupid, and so mad at anyone who notices and points it out. I don't get violent or start screaming, but I will speak angrily until I clam up and stop talking altogether for awhile. The worst part is the crying; I feel like a baby when I cry from frustration but the tears just start flowing and I can't stop them. I also have a bad habit of throwing things or hitting/breaking things, but I don't hit other people or myself.



siuan
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15 Sep 2007, 2:04 am

Cameo wrote:
I'm generally triggered by frustration, especially if I'm stressed out and make a mistake. I get so mad at myself for making the mistake and feeling stupid, and so mad at anyone who notices and points it out. I don't get violent or start screaming, but I will speak angrily until I clam up and stop talking altogether for awhile. The worst part is the crying; I feel like a baby when I cry from frustration but the tears just start flowing and I can't stop them. I also have a bad habit of throwing things or hitting/breaking things, but I don't hit other people or myself.


This is me! I hate the tears more than ANYTHING! It happens mostly when I am arguing with my husband and we can't/won't see my point, I get so frustrated I just either yell (as if making the point louder will get it through) or cry because I realize it's an exercise in futility...or (usually) some combination of both. And even as it's happening, I'm thinking, OMG Siuan you look like a fool! Stop! But I can't, and the tears just pour. Same deal when I make a stupid mistake.

I used to be a thrower. I'd break things that meant a lot to me, then cry about it. I eventually stopped doing that.


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madhousefluent
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15 Sep 2007, 5:59 pm

I had a bit of one today and immediately thought of this thread.

I'm in my second year of university in a big city, and today my parents and youngest brother were coming to watch a baseball game. We made plans to meet for lunch. It normally takes me about 30-45 minutes to get to the downtown core, depending on how long I have to wait for a bus or subway. Well, today the subways weren't running between two stops, so I had to take a shuttle bus instead. This was bad for several reasons: the interruption to my routine, being pressed in with a TON of strangers on a bus, and the fact that it made me about half an hour late (meaning I had less time to spend with my family, whom I miss, 'cause they had to make their game). I held it together on the bus, but once I got back on the subway system, for the rest of the way I was fighting desperately to keep from bursting into tears. It's really hard to do that on public transportation! Normally I'd pace or something, but all I could really do was rock a little bit from heel to toe and read all the ads around me. (I'm not usually a rocker, and I definitely got some funny looks.) Later on I watched a fountain for about ten minutes without moving, and felt better. Blah, I'm 18 and when stuff like this happens I feel like I'm 2.



Abi
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15 Sep 2007, 6:47 pm

I tend to have Three types of meltdowns. The most common are out burst of extreme aggression and rage. I scream and shout, kick ,throw or punch whatever there. You just fell completely on edge and there is nothing that cane stops the rampage. the next type of meltdown I get is when I repetitively hit my head against a wall. I’ve past out doing this a couple of times. There other type I get are the lest violent so therefore my favourite. This is when I just curl up in a corner and rock back and fourth muttering to my self. In this meltdowns especially I cannot talk to people and sometime I cant hear them. Some times I repeat something like the periodic table or the prime numbers to calm myself down.
I hate meltdowns especially the violent type because they came be very embarrassing once it is over and people can become scared of you because of them.



fathom73
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15 Sep 2007, 7:11 pm

Cooper wrote:
First I get really panicked. My mind races from one minor problem in my life to the next, but each problem feels so overwhelming that I feel like I'm going to be ill. My mind turns back to the circumstance or thought that triggered the meltdown. I feel like I must change that circumstance or my life, my family's lives, and the world in general will be forever ruined. Then I begin to cry. If I'm alone, I'll just sob silently and pace or squeeze a pillow, but if someone else is there, I will subject them up to an hour of desperate sobbing and incoherent ranting about how helpless and forlorn I feel. In either case, after 45 minutes or so, I begin to feel calmer, but I try to hard to force myself to feel better and end up sobbing again briefly. Eventually I cry myself out and I'm left in a drained, hazy state.

However, keeping the meltdown in is very difficult. I felt sluggish and stupid the entire day at work, and avoided people all day. I also got a very bad headache.


Sounds just like my meltdowns, but they tend to go on for hours. If I can manage to stop crying for a minute, it will just start again, because I can't get my mind off whatever I am upset about. Luckily my office has a door.



criss
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19 Sep 2007, 3:35 pm

I dont have outbursts but I have inbursts. i dont have tantrums but I inwardly scream. I get flooded with information and get confused. I get lots of mini meltdowns when I have to write things down for my course work as ideas just flood into my being, and also when I am with my little boy who I adore but takes me right out of my routines.


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