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Starr
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28 Sep 2007, 4:00 am

I saw this question in another forum and thought it might be a good idea to post it here also, maybe go into it in a little more detail.

Are you naive, and if so, how do you think it has affected you? Do you think people have taken advantage of your naivete?



TheMachine1
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28 Sep 2007, 4:51 am

Wishfull thinking can lead me on a path that I know will end in destruction.



postpaleo
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28 Sep 2007, 5:27 am

Lol, I like to think I'm not. The truth is, I can be very naive.

I did get pretty taken by my first wife. She was lying from the start. That wasn't pleasant and the systems that be treated me like a criminal, understatement. That lasted for many many years after the divorce. I don't think it was so much AS, there are some just plain out and out morally bad people. I don't really know if it was not reading her correctly, I think I had, I broke off the engagement but then got suckered back into it. That was just plain painful to even write.

I had to learn pretty fast. I can be dense about things, but for the most part I learn that kind of thing fairly fast. I can be very thin skinned sometimes. I've been told I think with my emotions more then I should. Which doesn't mean my emotions show, I'm good with masks. But I internalize it, can turn it on myself if I'm not careful. I don't if I have the time in a comfort zone to think things through, but on the fly, I suppose I do.

Much less so now. It was still me trying to figure out how to get by in the world. I didn't do to well at it from most points of view, but I survived and knowing what I do now, I find it pretty amazing I'm here at all. I lead a very self destructive life style.

But even at that, my being oblivious to certain things, my ability to center on obsessions, which is being naive to the general world, got me places others still can't understand how I did it. I see good and bad parts to being naive. I also learned sometimes appearing naive and letting others think they're getting over on you will do positive things as well. I call it using a weakness as a strength. I think it has another term, the sting. You get stung enough, you can figure it out.


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Prof_Pretorius
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28 Sep 2007, 11:37 am

Oh yes, there are times I'm a child lost in the woods. My former boss lied to me on a more or less daily basis, and I kept telling myself, "I think he's sincere this time." Also my first girlfriend was quite the liar, and told me all manner of things that I took at face value.


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shopaholic
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28 Sep 2007, 12:23 pm

As a teen I was completely oblivious to the possibility that my peers could be having sex! Just wasn't on my radar, apart from the occasional "slag" who got gossiped about.

When I started work I used to go down the pub with the guys one night a week in the hope of getting accepted into the "in-crowd" and advancing my career. (How naive was that??????? Of course, I didn't actually join in the conversation very much, since I had no interest whatsoever in sport or cars! I was just there, and occasionally got flirted with.)

Anyway, turned out that all they wanted from me was to be a sex object. But I just couldn't see it at the time, even when others pointed it out to me. I still wonder if they were really laughing at me behind my back like someone said they were.



Belle77
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28 Sep 2007, 1:56 pm

I've always been quite naive. I barely knew anything about drugs while I was in high school, although I found out later that drug use was rampant at my school. I didn't even know how to tell that a person was high until I was about 25.

I always believe that people are being sincere, and am crushed when I find out that they weren't. I always fell for the 'hooray, the company is doing great and we really care about our employees' speeches at my first job out of college. The company wasn't, and they didn't.



Starr
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29 Sep 2007, 4:34 am

I've always been told that I'm naive. I'm too naive to realize it myself. Take for example my previous signature 'pimp my tail'. Someone in another thread wondered if it was salacious. I was quite shocked by that. To me it just meant, give it a make-over, like the TV show, Pimp My Ride. It would never occur to me that it could be taken any other way. Story of my life really, lol. Meaning one thing and being understood to mean something else.
I have a fairly high IQ (whatever that signifies, I don't think it means that much) yet in a lot of ways exist in a kind of witless trance. But I enjoy that state of being. I do possess an intuitive 'user' detector, and thanks to that, although I have been hurt sometimes, never been seriously taken for a ride.



Beenthere
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29 Sep 2007, 11:55 am

Should I even answer this question? :lol:

Naive? Very.

I tend to believe what people tell me for the most part...I've wished for a portable lie detector for years.


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reika
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30 Sep 2007, 3:33 am

One of the best friends I ever had in my life gave me some of the best advice I ever got in my life ...here it is. She said
"Don't believe everyones as honest as you are Reika...cause they're NOT!"
I believe what people tell me cause why would they lie?
Needless to say I'v been used and what emotions I have, have been trampled on numerous times. And yet, even now, I still believe the best of humanity.
I also can't really tell when someone is "hitting on me". The other girls at work have to tell me. I feel so stupid sometimes for getting taken in. But I don't want to live a life of distrust and waiting to be lied to some more. Where are all the honest people, who can tell it like it is. WP is the only place I'v found like that so far. :D (Right, or am I once again expecting to much out of humanity)


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korppi
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30 Sep 2007, 5:46 am

I'd say that I'm both naive and cynical.
Probably either occurs at the wrong situations...



susdi
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30 Sep 2007, 3:03 pm

OMG! I am SO naive! I got in trouble for it when I was little because I was always trading my toys away for items that were in poorer condition. I still get sucked in by people only to find that they wanted to take advantage of me in some way. It has made me very bitter, and when the light finally comes on that I am being used or abused in some way, I over react. Oh well, just another turn on the vicious cycle.

I'm so glad you all are here. I finally don't feel so freakish anymore.


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Beenthere
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30 Sep 2007, 3:20 pm

susdi wrote:
OMG! I am SO naive! I got in trouble for it when I was little because I was always trading my toys away for items that were in poorer condition.


Welcome susdi! I did the same thing! :lol:


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Witt
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30 Sep 2007, 4:08 pm

Although I'm not naive in general,I am extremely naive in everyday situations.


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thyme
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30 Sep 2007, 11:03 pm

Starr wrote:
I've always been told that I'm naive. I'm too naive to realize it myself. Take for example my previous signature 'pimp my tail'. Someone in another thread wondered if it was salacious. I was quite shocked by that. To me it just meant, give it a make-over, like the TV show, Pimp My Ride. It would never occur to me that it could be taken any other way. Story of my life really, lol. Meaning one thing and being understood to mean something else.


LoL some ppl can't seem to get they're mind out of the gutter!

I started out very naive and thought everyone else was the same as I was. Of course over time I've changed into a very bitter, cynical type person :twisted:

Not really, I'm just allot more suspicious of ppl's motives and don't take things they say at face value.


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01 Oct 2007, 1:12 am

TheMachine1 wrote:
Wishfull thinking can lead me on a path that I know will end in destruction.
QFT



Rynessa
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02 Oct 2007, 12:32 am

I'm still learning about this Asperger's thing. Is being naive part of it? Cause if it is, that's another check in the box for me. I'm not naive about things like telemarketers and phony lotteries, but I do take most people I meet at face value. I was graduated from high school for about two or three years before I even realized that there had BEEN parties, let alone worrying about being invited. Since no one drank, did drugs, or had sex right in front of me at school, I thought it didn't happen!