Rynessa wrote:
I have a bad habit of reaching out for friendship, then getting nervous and cutting off contact. I'm really afraid they're going to reject me. I don't see the point in having a friend if you can't be yourself with them, yet being myself is generally social suicide. It's so stressful I just end up quitting.
Yes, I totally agree.
When I am in a new situation I can force myself to be outgoing and "normal," but after a couple of weeks, for instance, I can't keep it up because I am emotionally exhausted. So then I become quiet and go off to my own world, and ironically this is when most people tend to be opening up, I think. And then I'm out, and if I ever get in the mood to be sociable again, I am too shy b/c they have already forgotten about me...
Sometimes I think I only want friends when I NEED them, and I suppose that's not the point of friendship, but I don't know how else to be. I do care about my friends, but I am hot and cold on even my best friends.