Date outside your race/ethnicity?

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Would you date, or have you dated outside your race/ethnicity?
Absolutely not 2%  2%  [ 4 ]
Absolutely not 2%  2%  [ 4 ]
Unlikely 3%  3%  [ 5 ]
Unlikely 3%  3%  [ 5 ]
Can't say for sure 6%  6%  [ 11 ]
Can't say for sure 6%  6%  [ 11 ]
Only if no one else liked me 1%  1%  [ 2 ]
Only if no one else liked me 1%  1%  [ 2 ]
Good chance 9%  9%  [ 15 ]
Good chance 9%  9%  [ 15 ]
Of course 28%  28%  [ 48 ]
Of course 28%  28%  [ 48 ]
Total votes : 170

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20 Aug 2005, 11:52 pm

No

Maybe

I don't know


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eamonn
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21 Aug 2005, 6:41 pm

thatrsdude wrote:
Saying that it's racist to not be attracted to a certain race is the same as saying that it's sexist to not be attracted to a certain sex. :?


I agree. We dont choose who we fancy or not. Otherwise id choose to fancy my hand instead of women and save myself a lot of grief.



hecate
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21 Aug 2005, 7:02 pm

race has never been an issue for me, in fact if anyone has got a telephone number for a cute, single extra-terrestrial please let me know!



Last edited by hecate on 25 Aug 2005, 7:18 am, edited 2 times in total.

MagicMike
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21 Aug 2005, 9:14 pm

I really care not about race, but more about personality and character. The last girl I liked was as smart as they came, an overall high achiever, but I eventually learned the hard way she was a neurotic emotionally unstable, drunken party whore on her off-time, who considered herself better than everyone else, and was extremely intolerant. She was physically quite attractive, a 50-50 mix of white/India, but her character proved as ugly as they came.



tokaia
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22 Aug 2005, 6:30 pm

nirrti_rachelle wrote:
I'm aware there are many, many negative stereotypes being perpetrated about most black women being loud, stupid, obnoxious and rude, which may be true for some black women but can also be said about segments in any other group, white, hispanic or Asian. And from what I'm reading in this forum, unfortunately, people still believe these to be the truth.
How utterly sad. :(


Indeed! White girls with that "valley girl" thing going on are loud, stupid, obnoxious and rude. However, I've yet to meet a "valley girl" in real life. I've only seen them on TV and am beginning to wonder if they exist. But yes, people with sh*tty attitudes like that spread many a culture and race.

Race in a partner doesn't matter to me. I couldn't care less. Although, when I was 14, I swore to myself that I would only date black men. :lol: I've since grown up and realized that skin color doesn't matter.



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22 Aug 2005, 7:05 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
I realize that this is controversial question, but then again, a message board is supposed to be about discussion of such topics. Post your replies.


Of course, we Aspie males cannot really afford to be picky, finding those of the opposite sex who are willing to date us is already hard enough.



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22 Aug 2005, 7:15 pm

tokaia wrote:
nirrti_rachelle wrote:
I'm aware there are many, many negative stereotypes being perpetrated about most black women being loud, stupid, obnoxious and rude, which may be true for some black women but can also be said about segments in any other group, white, hispanic or Asian. And from what I'm reading in this forum, unfortunately, people still believe these to be the truth.
How utterly sad. :(


Indeed! White girls with that "valley girl" thing going on are loud, stupid, obnoxious and rude. However, I've yet to meet a "valley girl" in real life. I've only seen them on TV and am beginning to wonder if they exist. But yes, people with sh*tty attitudes like that spread many a culture and race.

Race in a partner doesn't matter to me. I couldn't care less. Although, when I was 14, I swore to myself that I would only date black men. :lol: I've since grown up and realized that skin color doesn't matter.


They don't need the valley-girl accent to be obnoxious and stupid. My school had a lot of the "Heathers" type girl... I haven't seen the movie but I'm pretty sure thats the type of girl it was about.



TaliDaRadical
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22 Aug 2005, 11:47 pm

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I don't know if people of colour being attracted to white people is a result of brainwashing, TaliDaRadical. Nothing and no one can control who a person is attracted to.

Well, I changed my tastes in men when I got into the civil rights/ Asian American activist movement. I used to like Black and Latino guys more than Asian guys (because I grew up in a Black neighborhood with BET, etc), now I would only date an Asian guy (although I'm not racist) because I'm in the activist movement. I'm starting to find non-Asian guys less and less romantically attractive, not that I'm saying other ethnicities are not good looking, but I'm getting more into my culture. A LOT of things can control who a person is attracted to. For example, the Japanese used to think white folks were butt ugly. In the 1700s, they described Dutchmen as looking like dogs. Now, Europeans and biracial people are all over Japanese TV due to the pseudo-colonialist exportation of white cultural norms. Before British colonialism, the standard of beauty in India was chubbier women with long black hair and other ethnic features. Nowadays, you see Bollywood actresses with really light skin, blue contacts, and bleached hair. And tell me why the standard of beauty in Black America is represented by the biracial, light skinned Halle Berry or Tyra Banks while the standard of beauty among folks in Africa includes dark skin and ethnic hair. Read the part in 'A Raisin in the Sun' where the Nigerian fellow (forgot his name) asked Beneatha why she straightened her hair.


Most people of color know about this. I don't think you're of color, and if you're not, you probably don't understand this (unless you take PoC history/Africana/whiteness studies courses).
BTW, for all those who have a problem with 'valley girls', I just want to let you know that I talk like a cross between a valley girl and a ghetto girl (I identify as ghetto, though) and therefore am offended.



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31 Aug 2005, 7:24 am

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I think it can be easier to date someone from another race. Cultural and linguistic differences make communication barriers explicit from the start, and any 'unusual' behaviour on the part of one or both of the partners is often attributed to this and so is perhaps more readily accepted.


100% agreed with that. My one real relationship so far was both mixed race (me white, her half white/half middle eastern, looking much more middle eastern) and mixed disability (me with (at the time undiagnosed) AS, her with a physical disability). I find myself very attracted to mixed race women partly because i like the visual aspect of seeing different "racial" characteristics mingled (genetics is one of my perseverations), and partly because of the cultural aspects of mixed parentage generally making people more open-minded for the reasons above, as well as more "interesting" (history and politics, particularly post-colonial/slavery/empire stuff, being another) thus giving me more stuff to talk about...

Thinking about, every woman i have been seriously attracted to has either:

a) had parents of 2 different "races"/ethnicities/nationalities

b) had some sort of disability

or c) had a very unusual childhood background (very unorthodox family, brought up in "care" or left home very early due to family breakdown, travelled around a lot, etc)

and i think that's definitely to do with the above issues - those who know what it's like to be "outside" or "other" and who find difference/uniqueness interesting and to be respected...

On a purely physical level, i also find dark skin/hair/eyes a lot more attractive than light skin/hair/eyes, on average... but that doesn't mean i've *never* found a blonde/blue-eyed/white woman attractive... just that i find most dark skinned women, and relatively few white women, attractive...

on the other hand, i *have* worried about being only attracted to women and not men making me sexist and/or homophobic... but IMO, if you have *tried* to be attracted to a race/gender/whatever and failed, then it's not your fault and you simply can't help what you are/aren't attracted to, so IMO no one should worry about being racist/sexist/whatever because of their own sexual preferences, as long as you don't have similar prejudices in your non-sexual friendships...



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31 Aug 2005, 10:15 am

i think the epithets "racist", "sexist" as used above are erroneous actually, shiva (hope you don't mind me calling you that - let me know if you do). it's not racist if you aren't sexually/physically attracted to a certain phenotype, surely? nor can your sexual orientation be called sexist/homophobic.

i expect it would be racist if you refused to even consider a black or asian woman, whether or not you felt attracted to them, based solely on their race.



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31 Aug 2005, 10:22 am

I'm definately open to dating outside my race - and I also admit to having a "thing" for Asian women. I admit that, as a few others said, I don't usually feel attracted to black women, but there have been some exceptions. My ex was Filipino by the way.



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31 Aug 2005, 11:37 am

The first and only girlfriend i've ever had (at the age of 22) which lasted a record 13 days (like the cuban missile crisis) was born in korea but was adopted and brought to australia when she was a baby. Her korean named sounded like she was whinging.



shivanataraja
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31 Aug 2005, 6:06 pm

vetivert wrote:
i think the epithets "racist", "sexist" as used above are erroneous actually, shiva (hope you don't mind me calling you that - let me know if you do). it's not racist if you aren't sexually/physically attracted to a certain phenotype, surely? nor can your sexual orientation be called sexist/homophobic.

i expect it would be racist if you refused to even consider a black or asian woman, whether or not you felt attracted to them, based solely on their race.
i think we actually agree here - i was saying that imo it *doesn't* make you racist/sexist/homophobic whatever...

i was using my experience as an example to compare to the people who were worried about only being attracted to a certain "race" making them "racist" - ie, for a while, when the crowd i loosely hung around with were mostly bisexual and the consensus belief there was "everyone's bisexual", i spent a bit of time worrying that only being attracted to women and not men made me some sort of sexist bigot (which, of course, it doesn't), so i could sympathise.

hope that's clearer...

(shortening my username to shiva is cool, 13 letters is a bit long to type... tho this username does make me feel a bit like i'm being worshipped or something ;) )



EaglesRNo1
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01 Sep 2005, 6:50 am

I've never been attracted to a non-white girl, but if I was and she ended up liking me back, I would have no problem dating her.



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01 Sep 2005, 8:07 am

I'm the same.


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Tom
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01 Sep 2005, 8:40 am

Tali, I agree and I've often wondered why black American celebrities seem so light - skinned compared to the ones I know in real life.