When a guy buys you a drink...

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...can it be totally platonic? I mean, I guess so, but here's the story...

Last night I met up with a guy I knew about a year ago. We had just had a few conversations last year (uni), that's all, and at the time he had a girlfriend.

But I recently facebooked him and he told me to give him a call sometime to meet up for a drink. So I did, and we met up. He told me he broke up with his girlfriend recently, and a bit later he paid for my drink. However, being an idiot, I thought it was accidental that he paid, so I paid him back, and he said, "Oh okay, that's awkward," and I couldn't tell if he was laughing or not because he stooped over his bag for a minute, but then I felt bad...It was definitely an awkward moment.

Was he making any kind of "move" or not? He didn't do anything else like that the rest of the night, either because he just wants to be friends, or because he thought I rejected him.

Okay, maybe I'm reading too much into this...Feel free to tell me so, haha.

I'm no expert by any means, but my vote is that he thought you rejected him.

the drink thing was probably his way of saying he liked you or at least appreciated the time you spent together but there was nothing wrong in you paying him back, it asserted your independance and you are on equal terms.
i don't get the whole bloke buys drinks, meals etc for girl then expects 'something' in return, these days girls have jobs etc and genders are supposed to be equal so there is no need for this anyway.
contact him, say you had a nice time and could you go out some time again (unless you don't like him and aren't interested). i would continue to pay my way equally or take turns to pick up the tab then there is no feeling that anyone owes anything to the other.

You're reading this just fine. He liked you. He was saying that he was single, and the drink was, well, the hint of possibilities to come. When you paid, it was taken as a cancellation or rejection of his overture. He heard, "not in a million years."

See, this is a good lesson in subtexts. There is a hidden meaning to many of the things said between males and females, and the purpose of this is PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY, a way to save face if rejected, and a way to reject without hurting.

Don't worry about it. If you still like the guy, explain what's up. He's probably pretty confused right now, and wants to know why you're inviting him out only to reject him.

I never buy drinks for women. It marks you as a sucker, especially if you are AS. I remember the bad old days when I would spend money on girls. Like the world's crappiest slot machine, no matter how much money you pump into her, you're never going to hit the jackpot. I remember hearing one girl laugh about me behind my back, talking to her friend about how I was so whipped, he pays for everything, wasn't it funny? A week earlier I had saved her from a violent drunk in a bar, chasing him out. She had jumped up on me, wrapped her legs around my waist and kissed me; she caught herself, said "whoa", but gave me her number.

"Hi, can I buy you a drink?"
Translation:
"Hi, I'd like to rent your genitals. I'll open the bidding at a nine dollar bottle of Bacardi Breezers."

It took me a long time to realize that she did the right thing. I thought that buying her a bunch of stuff was what I was supposed to do. At this point in my life I had no idea that women could be heartless and cruel to those who cared for them. I had no idea that I was trying to buy affection.

I don't treat women like prostitutes anymore.

Speaking of subtexts...

I was at one of the local big box supermarkets getting new passport photos taken in the little cubby hole of a portrait studio when this girl walked up to me and said, "oh, VERY professional, like a male model, hey, you know you look like the singer from Glass Tiger, they just had a show on them on CBC last night, oh, what was the album they had out.."

I do NOT look like that. Jesus Christ!

"The Thin Red Line"

"NO! That was a movie!"

"AND THE NAME OF THEIR ALBUM. Their big hit was "Don't Forget Me When I'm Gone", 1986."

A woman came in and handed this girl a plastic bag, left.

She says,"Yeah, so, that's my mom and she doesn't know what's in the bag but here it is I just broke up with my boyfriend cuz see we were in Fiji and then we came back and then he went BACK to Fiji and left me here but oh yeah, here..."

At this point she takes out a cardboard cutout of a head-and-shoulders silhouette of a man with a question mark on his face. It is glued to a stick, and made from the back of a Cheerios box. I noticed that while she hadn't decided on a face, she had decided on the hair.

I began to get nervous.

"Yeah so anyway I was eating Cheerios this morning and I moved back in with my parents which sucks and we have this picture on the wall of the whole family except that my ex-boyfriend is in it and I hate him now so I want to get a new portrait made with me holding this up..."

She holds it up in case I've never seen anything held up before...

"...yeah see well okay you don't have the same hair and your shoulders are wider, yeah this is gonna be funny I can't wait till my mom sees this its gonna be hilaaaaaaarious, we went out for two years but I've been single for a while so what do you do?"

"I'm unemployed, I've just moved back in with my mom after ten years on my own which makes me feel like a bit of a useless ret*d, and I'm leaving the country in a month. Nice to meet you."

I have a foam beer cozy on my desk with the caption: If you're close enough to read this, you've just violated your restraining order.

Just think, right now I could be in the same situation as James Caan in "Misery".

Oh does this make me remember something nasty...

I was on vacation visiting my friend, and since he was a DJ at a local club, I got to tag along. I would have just hid in his booth with him, but that's a long convoluted story. So anyways, I'm sitting there having a cigarette, watching people dance, listening to music, and keeping to myself. Because I have a tendency to stare off into space without warning or reason, sometimes people think I'm looking at them. This man in a cowboy hat (who did NOT look like he belonged in that kind of club at all- but hey, you never know) happens to be in my line of sight, approaches me, and offers to buy me a drink.

Me being the stereotypical Eastern European concerning alcohol- and free alcohol at that, couldn't say no. Long story short, somehow Mr. Octopus and his wandering hands ends up with his tongue in my mouth and I'm scrambling for the nearest exit. Once he told me he had a Ferrari and wanted me to go with him to the dark parking lot to go for a ride- I ran for my friend. I'm not THAT naive. My friend came to my rescue and got me out of there immediately, but he was definitely a little irritated that I honestly didn't see that situation coming a mile away.

I was then given a stern briefing in club/bar dynamics.

Now, since I went completely off topic with this anecdote...

I think that if the person asks you OUTSIDE the bar... It's different. I would take it as, he likes you. So I say just roll with it and see where it goes.

I wouldn't worry about it, just ask him for a drink again and say you pay for your drinks.

Okay. Thanks for the replies, everybody. I do like him, but last year he was "off limits" so I just thought of him as a friend. I wasn't prepared for him being single...I feel like an idiot for not realizing, though. LOL. I seriously didn't think about him liking me until after we left each other, when I thought over the night. (I need a lot of processing time, haha.)

But like you said Alexbeetle said, maybe it's good that I bought my own drink, in a way. I just don't want him to think I'm rejecting him.

So how should I go about this now? As we parted for the night, he said a few times that I should call him again soon, so that's fine, but how do you show someone you like them (w/out making an idiot of myself in case he really doesn't like me like that)?

Yeah, flirting and dating are pretty foreign to me...

sorry i'm totally inexperienced about dating and the like, but by the way, i want to ask i was invited out. When we finished our drinks, he wanted me to pay (he paid me something previously). It was so long ago I didn't remember clearly what he said, but as far as I remember, he asked me whether I had money for the drinks. I don't know whether he is interested in me or he is just treating me like a close friend.

After a couple awkward social scenarios, I learned that the expected routine around here is "rounds"- he buys one round for the both of you, then you buy for the both of you.
The next round could be deferred until the next encounter.

Ya, if I was him I would think you were rejecting me.

Ohh, and if a guy bought me a drink, tho I would be flattered . I would also decline!