Page 2 of 2 [ 27 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Adrie
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 464
Location: California/England

01 Dec 2007, 1:39 pm

As long as you don't let people take advantage of your naivety, I think it's all right. I feel this way too. It's too bad your mom was so hard on you, though...

But some people think my naivety is an endearing trait. It doesn't have to be a negative thing. :)



Maeotian
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jun 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 94
Location: Tennessee, USA

01 Dec 2007, 3:39 pm

The fact is

Naivete to one man is optimism to another man.



SpaceStace
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 22 Sep 2007
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 218
Location: New Jersey

01 Dec 2007, 4:20 pm

I'm 37 and thought I had finally learned my way out of my extreme social naivete... until last Wednesday at work - this sweet person working for a company that's our "partner" in a huge project asked me to send some information (I send her information almost every week) to not her office but to somewhere else... turns out I should have questioned her motives and checked to see if she was asking for this behind my boss's back for an ulterior motive. Now I have to figure out a way to get back the level of respect my boss had for me before committing a stupid social error I'm sure any NT in the city of New York would have handled correctly. And now a third partner who were good people are being replaced with a super-slimy dirt bag and I get to deal with the sleaze-ball for another year and a half, and cost the good guys a lot of lost money, because I didn't know to question motives. Sigh.

Social naivete - there's nothing that makes me kick myself more than those blunders. From thinking that a boy kissing me means that he wants to be my boyfriend (or even ever talk to me again), to taking way to long to figure out when my presence is no longer wanted, to blabbing friends' secrets because I had no idea they were secrets,... I could go on and on.

But my trusting and optimistic nature is attractive to potential friends and lovers, and I'd rather stay as naive as I can, than get bitter and jaded.



SapphoWoman
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 17 Aug 2006
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 387
Location: South Florida

04 Dec 2007, 12:09 pm

SpaceStace wrote:
From thinking that a boy kissing me means that he wants to be my boyfriend (or even ever talk to me again)...



Speaking of that.... I'm in my 30's and I thought I had learned this by now, but I am running into it again. I slept with of my male "friends", and afterward, he acted like he didn't even know me. It was really crappy. When I called him on it, he said things like, "I don't have time for anyone--it's not just you... I don't call anyone back," etc. But the truth is, now he had a girlfriend and I really think that he just wanted sex and never even felt any friendship feelings toward me at all.

I am on the verge of thinking this: Anyone who wants to have sex with me only wants that, and I should completely ignore them afterward, because that is how they are going to treat me.



sinagua
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2007
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 368
Location: Rhode Island

04 Dec 2007, 12:21 pm

Liverbird wrote:
spider web thinking people operate.


Just wanted to die of admiration over this phrase. LOVE IT. :D



sinagua
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2007
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 368
Location: Rhode Island

04 Dec 2007, 12:26 pm

As a child, I distinctly remember my grandmother telling me (kindly) that I was "too honest." ?! As a kid, I thought you were SUPPOSED to be honest - how could I be "TOO" honest? I think she meant my naiveté (me thinking that if I don't mean harm to someone, they won't mean harm to me). She also said I feel too much, or more deeply than other people, and I was just "different" from most people. She was the only person in my family to ever even try to understand me or view my "differentness" as something that might actually benefit me one day. I miss her.



sinagua
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2007
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 368
Location: Rhode Island

04 Dec 2007, 12:28 pm

As a child, I distinctly remember my grandmother telling me (kindly) that I was "too honest." ?! As a kid, I thought you were SUPPOSED to be honest - how could I be "TOO" honest? I think she meant my naiveté (me thinking that if I don't mean harm to someone, they won't mean harm to me). She also said I feel too much, or more deeply than other people, and I was just "different" from most people. She was the only person in my family to ever even try to understand me or view my "differentness" as something that might actually benefit me one day. I miss her.



SpaceStace
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 22 Sep 2007
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 218
Location: New Jersey

04 Dec 2007, 1:31 pm

sinagua wrote:
As a child, I distinctly remember my grandmother telling me (kindly) that I was "too honest." ?! As a kid, I thought you were SUPPOSED to be honest - how could I be "TOO" honest? I think she meant my naiveté (me thinking that if I don't mean harm to someone, they won't mean harm to me). She also said I feel too much, or more deeply than other people, and I was just "different" from most people. She was the only person in my family to ever even try to understand me or view my "differentness" as something that might actually benefit me one day. I miss her.


Sounds like me - I call myself "pathologically honest." My therapist told me I should lie more!... that lying in itself is not bad, it's only bad with bad intents. I still feel like if I do tell a little white lie that people must see it a mile away, but I do lie now sometimes - only to make people feel better. But the problem is the other side of the coin - my automatic reaction is to take what people say to me at face value unless they are a a proven liar, which gets me in a lot trouble.



SteelMaiden
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Aug 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,722
Location: London

15 Dec 2007, 3:06 pm

Hey, thank you all for the great words.

I am just trying to let my Mum's insults bounce off me now.


_________________
I am a partially verbal classic autistic. I am a pharmacology student with full time support.


AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 69,878
Location: Portland, Oregon

15 Dec 2007, 3:12 pm

People tell me I am naive because they say my eyes have a haunted, naive look to them.
Just this week, I was framed by several underclassmen for "following" them.

Maybe I should find a new pair of glasses. :?:


_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


SteelMaiden
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Aug 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,722
Location: London

16 Dec 2007, 1:21 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
People tell me I am naive because they say my eyes have a haunted, naive look to them.
Just this week, I was framed by several underclassmen for "following" them.

Maybe I should find a new pair of glasses. :?:


Ha no they're just being stupid.


_________________
I am a partially verbal classic autistic. I am a pharmacology student with full time support.