Do your AS traits reduce when you try to be relaxed?

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johnpipe108
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16 Dec 2007, 10:26 pm

I specifically notice one thing, speech characteristics. When I'm socially tense, which can be in a one-on-one social situation, such as being uncomfortable with the new doctor (just experienced this on my birthday couple days ago) or especially within the group dynamic, that I "motormouth".

I talk fast, higher than normal volume & pitch, in a monologue; people have to yell at me sometimes to get me to shut up. I started noticing a couple months back during a big overseas reunion party, one lady friend commented on this and the problems it causes, and it happened again in a group situation 3 weeks later in London.

This was before I found out I was Asperger's.

I notice I don't do this as much or as intensely all the time, just when ill at ease. The folks in the reunion I've known for roughly 30 years, makes no diff to this happening when I try to join in the conversation, I still get nervous and motormouth.
When it's someone I know well and we're not part of a crowd, I don't seem to do this so quickly.



Aoife
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16 Dec 2007, 10:35 pm

digger1 wrote:
only when I smoke weed. I feel soo much better high.


Yeah, man! Let's all sign up for medical marijuana!



bobert
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16 Dec 2007, 11:15 pm

I'm not sure how to answer, because I only define AS traits as a problem relative to other people. I think that the only time that I truly relax is when I'm alone and then my AS traits are not a problem anyway. Around other peole I'm, pretty much, always on guard.



NightsideEclipse
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17 Dec 2007, 4:17 am

I would say yes. I think that when I have social difficulties, it is more due to my fear of messing up than actual severe social deficits. Do any others feel this way?



Malachi_Rothschild
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17 Dec 2007, 4:34 am

When I'm relaxed sometimes it's more difficult and sometimes it's not. If I'm relaxed because I'm in an environment where others have an interest in one of my interests, then it's better. If I'm in an environment where the people around me aren't interested, then it's worse. If I'm around people who aren't easily offended, it's better. If I'm around people who are, worse. If I'm around people who rely very little on implicit meanings, it's better. If they rely on them a lot, it's worse.

So in order for my relaxation to pay off the most I need to be in a place where the people are interested in my interests, not easily offended and are fairly direct.

The worst place for me to relax is around people who don't share my interests, are easily offended and rely heavily on implied meanings to get their message across.



Aoife
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17 Dec 2007, 1:03 pm

NightsideEclipse wrote:
I would say yes. I think that when I have social difficulties, it is more due to my fear of messing up than actual severe social deficits. Do any others feel this way?


Yes, exactly. I fear the failure of conversation. I'm not socially incompetent the way some others seem to be, I'm just awkward. I actually know quite a bit about how most people communicate, but I can't seem to do it. It's sort of like trying to speak a language you can only read.