Not knowing how to work with AS teen -- school and general

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janboys
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21 Dec 2007, 10:43 pm

Hi all -

Warning a little long -- sorry.

I am new here and I am mom to 2 boys with AS DX...ages 12 (Severe - DXed in 2000 at age 5) and 16 (less severe-DXed in 2004 at age 13). The younger one is currently being home schooled since the school system never figured out how to help him...long story.

The older one has somewhat maintained in a general public school district setting with a lot of modifications. When he was in the school building for all his classes we ran into significant over stimulation issues in core classes. There were modifications made in many ways - basically just entering the class would lead him to a meltdown (running through the halls and acting out a lot!) or a complete shut down (head down, sleeping, ignoring everything).

We placed him in some virtual classes (Algebra, English, Web Design and Personal Finance) that is in conjunction with the school district, he still attends 3 classes at the regular high school - self regulation (OT/Social skills), fundamentals of math (only to get a credit made up - it is way too easy for him), and chemistry - which he adores!

While his being out of the school building setting for some classes has seemed to help his overall behavior in school, he struggles to get work done for the virtual school just as he struggled with classes while in school - but since he is home I have a bit more control of his work, which has been better for us.

His resource teacher now says they do not feel he needs the self regulation class and they know he is bored but there is no other way for him to get all the credits he will need for graduation without it since he failed a class last school year.

The teacher also seems to be at the same point we are as parents -- what do we do next? He is smart, capable and friendly...but socially awkward and has a lot of sensory issues. A great setting may be a small class that has a regular, possibly advanced curriculum. The school does not offer a setting like this even though they have a large population of kiddos with AS (I have been told nearly 40 students are one the spectrum in this school). We live in a community with a few special needs setting programs.

He is not as severe as some of his classmates that are in the special education setting, and with them doing curriculum that is rather general for all the levels they work with he tends to get bored. If we put him in general classes, he feels too different and has more issues.

I have been told by many that maybe I should give up on him graduating on time with his class. I really hope he will. If not I can work through it. I have thought through possible option for college as well and also looked into services for job training.

I am not sure which direction I should go and I am hoping others that read this can relate and maybe suggest direction. My older son falls into that area of he has needs (especially in executive function skills) but he loves adults and kids younger than him as well as animals. People look at him and see his abilities (which it wonderful) but they do not see his needs until later then do not know how to work with him. School does not know how to work with him, place him or modify for him. He does not seem to have much motivation to help use to get him to make passing grades, he does not think about how his grades and such will affect him as an adult.

He sees a counselor bi-weekly for nearly 2 years, but he still does not really communicate needs, feelings, and so on to the point of where she can work with him. He has a very good doctor - who is concerned about his lack of basic functions awareness, has worked with different meds, but not suggestions on how to work on executive functions areas. He attends OT for Sensory Integration weekly for help with his sensory needs.

When we worked with a behavior specialist they basically pushed Positive Behavior program/charts for us to utilize, but we have worked with them in the home, school and hospital setting for years and he knows how to work his way around the programs, especially when we try to use them with the school.

I am not sure where to turn at this point. It seems like no one really know how to work with a kiddo that is smart and capable, but needs assistance to be successful. When we have tried to have him volunteer at the YMCA and without assistance they can not figure out how to work with him, and do not use the assistance they have access too.

I truly hope this makes sense to other parents or others that work with having AS. I just want to be able to find a way that will work to help our son. Home schooling is working for our younger son at this time, he is making some nice improvements. The older son does not want to be in home school and is more able to work with the social aspects and enjoys some areas that he can get from the school setting.

Smiles and I look forward to hearing from others on this concern.
Jan



ster
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22 Dec 2007, 9:18 pm

it's a tough situation you're in....it sounds as though you haven't found meds to be of any help. honestly, i don't what to tell you that would be of any help. best of luck