merr wrote:
Simply put, the person wants you to be honest, but they dont want words that will hurt them or might make them lose self esteem, just like anyone else. Brutal honesty may be the truth, but it stings and sometimes is unnecessary. I've known (Nt) people who used that type of honesty and they walked away with people thinking they were assh*oles.
Brutal honesty can be gentle honesty with a simple rewording of the comment. I'll use the examples you gave
Instead of saying, "That make up actually makes you look pretty", which implies the girl is ugly without makeup, one can say, "That make up really brings out your eyes. You look pretty."
I dont know what to say to an overweight person in the back of the car. The best thing to do is to not say anything and just them ride there. Comments like that embarass and shame people and could send them into some sort of depressive state.
Yeah, it's good to give someone your honest opinion, but you dont want to leave them feeling like they can never ask you again (or be around you) without feeling like crap.
See, I understand such concepts. What I do not understand is why ask in the first place? I at times refuse to answer a question that requires honesty because I know how it will be taken. Even that makes me appear like an as*hole.
I'll admit I've gotten a bit irritated by what others might have said, but it is because I didn't find it that honest, or unfounded. I felt like it was missing details and/or reason.
_________________
bijadd?