Aspies who have been called "a-hole"...

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pakled
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07 Jan 2008, 8:34 pm

Pablo Picasso was never called an A**hole..;)

Not that I know of, except in traffic...;)



Ana54
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07 Jan 2008, 10:55 pm

I've been called it by my dad. :)



Sifr
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07 Jan 2008, 11:06 pm

merr wrote:
Simply put, the person wants you to be honest, but they dont want words that will hurt them or might make them lose self esteem, just like anyone else. Brutal honesty may be the truth, but it stings and sometimes is unnecessary. I've known (Nt) people who used that type of honesty and they walked away with people thinking they were assh*oles.

Brutal honesty can be gentle honesty with a simple rewording of the comment. I'll use the examples you gave

Instead of saying, "That make up actually makes you look pretty", which implies the girl is ugly without makeup, one can say, "That make up really brings out your eyes. You look pretty."

I dont know what to say to an overweight person in the back of the car. The best thing to do is to not say anything and just them ride there. Comments like that embarass and shame people and could send them into some sort of depressive state.

Yeah, it's good to give someone your honest opinion, but you dont want to leave them feeling like they can never ask you again (or be around you) without feeling like crap.



See, I understand such concepts. What I do not understand is why ask in the first place? I at times refuse to answer a question that requires honesty because I know how it will be taken. Even that makes me appear like an as*hole.

I'll admit I've gotten a bit irritated by what others might have said, but it is because I didn't find it that honest, or unfounded. I felt like it was missing details and/or reason.


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07 Jan 2008, 11:33 pm

Jesus called me an as*hole


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merr
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08 Jan 2008, 12:22 pm

Sifr wrote:

See, I understand such concepts. What I do not understand is why ask in the first place? I at times refuse to answer a question that requires honesty because I know how it will be taken. Even that makes me appear like an as*hole.

I'll admit I've gotten a bit irritated by what others might have said, but it is because I didn't find it that honest, or unfounded. I felt like it was missing details and/or reason.
I guess people just want reassurance or for someone to pick up on something they may have missed. No one expects a brutally honest answer, but maybe a nice suggestion or comment. It's tricky because all people have a natural aversion for damage to their self esteem. But yet they ask these questions, probably because they just want some feedback.



Sifr
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09 Jan 2008, 1:35 am

merr wrote:
I guess people just want reassurance or for someone to pick up on something they may have missed. No one expects a brutally honest answer, but maybe a nice suggestion or comment. It's tricky because all people have a natural aversion for damage to their self esteem. But yet they ask these questions, probably because they just want some feedback.


I understand.

A nice suggestion is not truth in my opinion. It is a stroke of ego. When I write music I don't want people to say "It sounds good." I want them to tell me what they thought, in detail: Was there proper phrasing, modulation? Did the time/key changes make sense or did it take away from the composition?


I guess I'm too analytical and I see beyond what is intended. Questions like "How does this fit?" will bring many statements on what I considered wrong with such an outfit.


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Danielismyname
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09 Jan 2008, 2:28 am

So many times that there's not a single event that stands out, they've all kinda blurred to form Voltron.

I do admit, I can be a jerk many times, but I don't intend any ill towards people; I just...lack social tact (the truth isn't always wanted).



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09 Jan 2008, 2:44 am

Not in the last two hours.



Kwiksnax
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09 Jan 2008, 5:37 am

pakled wrote:
Pablo Picasso was never called an A**hole..;)


Picasso had something to offer the world...



rossc
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19 Jan 2008, 11:20 pm

Of course some people with AS are not Saints.
Sometimes we are a***holes and OK with being that horrible.
Sometimes too we are deluded into thinking we are righteous and acting in the most justifiable way, when in reality we are being a***holes.

Matter of perspective

On a completely different subject has anyone read TLPG's website?

http://philsworld.a.wiki-site.com/index ... _War_of_07
http://philsworld.a.wiki-site.com/index ... r_Learn%21
http://philsworld.a.wiki-site.com/index ... Unfriendly



ebec11
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20 Jan 2008, 2:34 pm

MusicMaker1 wrote:
It just occurred to me, moments after reading your post, that I bet EVERYONE has been called an as*hole or Jerk for some reason or other at some point in their lives.-- NT's and Aspies alike.

Am I weird if I haven't?
I've been insulted, but MUCH more hidden then that, and I usually understand it's an insult about a half an hour after the situation :(



ebec11
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20 Jan 2008, 2:36 pm

Ana54 wrote:
I've been called it by my dad. :)

My dad didn't call me that, but he was always degrading me in other non swearing ways. I had to break off the relationship because my self-esteem was way too low when I was around him.



sartresue
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20 Jan 2008, 3:02 pm

A turd by any other name...topic

At my age I have been called everything under the sun. Some of it was perhaps relevant, and some downright personall and nasty. I prefer to let people paint themselves into a corner...literally, and do not dignify a lot of verbal bullcrap with a direct answer.


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