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JWRed
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25 Jan 2008, 9:14 pm

Here is the scenario:

Walking down the hall of an office in the moring. A co worker that I am somewhat friendly with (don't see every day, say 3 times a week) is walking down the same hall towards me. As we are about 5 feet from each other, I look at her in the eyes and say "Good morning." Is it apporpriate to maintain eye contact until she says "Good morning." or do I need to look away as soon as I finish saying good morning? I think it is the first choice, but it feels a little uncomfortable.



HowlingWolf
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25 Jan 2008, 9:20 pm

You are correct that generally you would maintain eye contact until she greets you as well. :)



Syd
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25 Jan 2008, 9:29 pm

The point of eye contact is generally to see if the other person is "paying attention", so I would think you'd want to maintain it until the receiver notices. Not that I personally care, it's just what most people are used to. Though I've had long conversations where each person was in their own world visually, but very much focused on the discussion at hand. I tend to employ it reciprocally. If the other person directs eye contact towards me, I do the same. If they don't, I won't bother.



JWRed
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25 Jan 2008, 9:38 pm

Syd wrote:
The point of eye contact is generally to see if the other person is "paying attention", so I would think you'd want to maintain it until the receiver notices. .


When the reciver notices is pretty much the same thing as when the receiver responds. If she a neurotypical, she should respond as soon as she notices. Otherwise, the person is a creep.



fernando
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25 Jan 2008, 9:38 pm

You are supposed to hold the eye contact until she replies, but thats not you, aspies dont make eye contact and if you force it it's gonna be a lie, i wish i could say Just be yourself and look away, but then people will get away from you.... being aspie sucks, there's no good answer to your question



Zincubus
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26 Jan 2008, 4:40 pm

Hey fernando I would not agree that being an aspie sucks ! !


I LOVE being this way ! !

I love being different and all the advantages that come with it ! !



nannarob
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26 Jan 2008, 4:56 pm

Don't be hard on yourself. A glance is enough. I know that some aspies hold the glance for too long.

FYI eye contact is not just seeing if the person is paying attention. It can convey a smile etc etc

For a while in the ex dino cafe I would practice body language and roport back. My husband woul shake hands, and we'd count out stepping up to each other. clasping hands, eye contact, and disengaging.

Today I will count out how many seconds I make with eye contact when saying hello and report back.


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I think there must be some chronic learning disability that is so prevalent among NT's that it goes unnoticed by the "experts". Krex