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Nan
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22 Feb 2008, 4:50 pm

it's not meant to be. :wink:

not in the sense you're using "factual", anyway.



zoya4eva
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22 Feb 2008, 5:54 pm

I forgot to put the subject "Some poetic words" when I submitted the post. So thanks,Nan.
I actually think we have far too much analyzing and far too little magic left in our lives.



ClosetAspy
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22 Feb 2008, 6:42 pm

I don't know if it's a combination of my upbringing (strict Catholic) or the sexual abuse I endured while dating, or just natural disinclination, but sex isn't something I am interested in. I have noticed that NT's tend to be obsessive about it (the one thing it is ok to be obsessive about). I have a NT friend (widowed) and all she can talk about is wanting to get a man. I don't understand it. Yes, I would like romance, but it doesn't seem to be in the cards for me, so the way I see it I have limited time and energy so why waste it on something I am not likely to attain. There's so much more out there that I am interested in. Plus I don't find NT men very interesting. All they seem to want is to get in my pants. If one would come along and was as interested in getting into my mind, then that might be the start of something.



zoya4eva
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22 Feb 2008, 11:52 pm

Does anyone think that smiley icon on the left of the screen with ad for the joke toolbar - looks like he's in pain !
Dont want to hear those jokes !
Back to the subject...
NT's obsession with Sex is just an expression of their obsession with pleasure in all its forms...
I sometimes think that were AS people to inherit the planet, the people trying to sell us our lives wouldn't have much luck.
Heres to the new generation of Humans.! !



MissConstrue
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24 Feb 2008, 1:13 am

Depends on what you mean. I have high sexual desire for the opposite sex. I'm just not good at expressing how I feel to that other person. It's more of a social dilemna than a sex dilimna for me. :twisted:



Morgana
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30 Nov 2008, 12:43 pm

Based on the statistics that I´ve read concerning how often people supposedly have sex, I would say that there is nothing wrong with my sex drive- far from it! Just have problems acting on it with another person, due to that social thing. Arrgghh.

Much of what Rynok wrote made sense to me personally.


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pineapple
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30 Nov 2008, 8:47 pm

I have no sex drive, and I never have. But to me, it's not a problem. It shouldn't be insulting to say someone lacks a sex drive if they really do. I don't care about sex, so not having it doesn't matter to me. I wrote about this very topic on my blog, here (clicky), if anyone is interested. No, not everyone is interested in sex, I'm living proof of that. These sorts of threads start to annoy me because people are always saying that I can't exist, because "everyone wants sex". But trust me, I'm out here, and I've met many others like me.

Aspies vary. Just like everyone else on the planet.



CJBinks
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01 Dec 2008, 7:56 pm

viska wrote:
I've noticed that most people on this board, men and women, are less interested in sex compared to my perception of the average person.

Also, this talk of sex being used as a bargaining chip as normal is striking me as pretty odd. If I'm in a relationship where sex is used this way, I am definitely kicking my partner to the curb.


I am a guy, and this is my cut on the issue.

I think part of the problem is that Aspies have so much trouble with social stuff that by the time the hormones kick in it is pretty easy to convince yourself you are asexual just to avoid the rejections that are sure to come.

I know I was that way.

But, then I met someone and it was love at first sight...

Unfortunately, she wasn't interested. But, I couldn't pretend I'd never be interested in someone.



capriwim
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10 Dec 2008, 3:09 pm

I've heard that asexuality is more common among aspies than NTs, but that the majority of aspies are not asexual. Also, that in the general population, most asexuals are female, underweight and had a late menarche.

All those things apply to me, and I'm asexual. I don't see it as an affliction. It's not something that I really even think about, because my life is more defined by things I am interested in, rather than things I am not interested in. I've never had a crush. I've never had a sexual fantasy - I tried, but I felt nothing. I tried masturbation in various ways and found it dull. I tried dating. But never had a sexual feeling. So then I decided - why bother with it? I'm happy as I am. If a person doesn't like carrots, they don't try to find a hidden desire for carrots deep within themselves. They lead a happy carrotless life!



BastetsEye
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12 Dec 2008, 2:59 pm

I would say that I have a normal to high sex drive. Whether that's just because I never had sex and that will change when I do I don't know, and am unlikely to ever find out given my touch issues, my sexual inclinations and my religious upbringing.



Samara
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14 Dec 2008, 5:28 pm

I think I have a high sex drive and it really drives me crazy.
I lust for sex bad sometimes.
I only need to make a phone call and I can have some one but its like men and sex. It becomes too intense and it always feels like I am get into trouble.
I havnt been feeling that well this year as to be able to emotionally handle relationship eithier. Even if it was just casual.



14 Dec 2008, 5:45 pm

mila_oblong wrote:
D1nk0 wrote:
With no intention to be defamatory, I am starting to conclude that one of the ways in which asperger syndrome affects women is that it results in a weaker sex drive(sometimes NO sex drive Whatsover). Apparently there are also many men who are afflicted the same way-though I personally am NOT one of them. I do know that (mani-depressive)bipolar disorder seems to affect women in the opposite way: bipolar womn often have abnormally strong sex drives whenever they get manic.
I keep seing posts hinting at: "women dont really want sex and dont like it, they just use it as a currency" which is Totally UNTRUE when it comes to most NT women but aspie women are another story.....


Gee thanks for not intending to be defamatory :roll:, but I found your statement to be complete and utter bullsh!t. Let me clue you in on a little something here buster, I resent the fact that you're assuming (way to make an ass out of you and me, btw) that AS women have a weak or almost NO sex drive whatsoever based on a conclusion that was brought on by posts that you saw that had a hint like that one you mentioned and then assumed that all aspie women are like that as opposed to the NT women. Now for something completely different and an even bigger news flash, not all aspie women are like that. Some may be, it's 50/50 and the same holds true for the NT women. If there's a choice between the two of 'em, the aspie women are the ones who make change because 50% of them are just like that because of the AS, unlike the NTs who tend to be frigid b*****s in that case. FYI, this aspie woman here has a strong sex drive. I just do things the way I want to do them.


You just replied to a banned member.



14 Dec 2008, 5:52 pm

I have a sex drive. My boyfriend's is higher though. I think men have a higher sex drive than women. That's what I have been told.

Mine was real high in my last relationship because he was an aspie and it turned me on. Maybe if I had it once with him, the desire would have worn off. I always had to restrain myself because I thought it be too soon to have it. I remember how much I wanted it when I was 20 when I met my first ex. I wanted to try and see what it was like. Then I didn't want it as much after I had it. When I met my current boyfriend, I also wanted it badly and had to restrain myself again. Then the strong feelings went away about it. Now I feel I lack it because I have to force myself to have it and I have to have in Benny & Joon so I can get turned on. I also allow my bf to rub me down there and finger me to get my p**** even wetter. There is another thing that makes me real wet down there, diapers. :D



pineapple
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14 Dec 2008, 10:13 pm

capriwim wrote:
I've heard that asexuality is more common among aspies than NTs, but that the majority of aspies are not asexual. Also, that in the general population, most asexuals are female, underweight and had a late menarche.

All those things apply to me, and I'm asexual. I don't see it as an affliction. It's not something that I really even think about, because my life is more defined by things I am interested in, rather than things I am not interested in. I've never had a crush. I've never had a sexual fantasy - I tried, but I felt nothing. I tried masturbation in various ways and found it dull. I tried dating. But never had a sexual feeling. So then I decided - why bother with it? I'm happy as I am. If a person doesn't like carrots, they don't try to find a hidden desire for carrots deep within themselves. They lead a happy carrotless life!


Just FYI, I don't think there's any evidence that asexuals are female, underweight, or start their periods earlier. I don't fit those criteria and many asexuals I've met don't, either. (I've met a lot because I run asexual meetups.) But I agree with you, it's not an affliction and it's best to be happy as you are!



millie
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16 Dec 2008, 4:32 am

I do not have a high sex drive. i find sex complicated, too sensory and also overwhelming. I alos have a problem with touch, so it makes it a little difficult at times. But i would not like to generalise about others or make any assumptions about the sex drives of people on the spectrum.



TheCaityCat
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16 Dec 2008, 9:59 am

I don't think my AS has resulted in a low sex drive. If my sex drive is low, then I would hate to experience a "normal" sex drive. Sex gives me a chance to block everything else in the world out and just have an orgasm while being held tightly. It's a pleasant and calming experience for me.

I have been affected by medications, but that situation had as much to do with being in a bad relationship as it did with my medications. I blame my lack of a sex life on the lack of people I'm attracted to and my poor social skills. I'm not good at flirting or coquettish behavior and according to some, I'm intimidating. I also don't usually find anyone I'm interested enough in to just be blunt about my feelings.