To fake NT and being able

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Not sure how to phrase this.

I can fake being able. Can you? I can get through every job interview successfully. I can talk to people for two, three hours and they will say I'm odd probably, but not autistic.

But I cannot actually do something, real work, thinking or physical work, when I suppress all autistic behaviour like that. I manage to do this for a few hours one day, but will need several days after to recover. I can be perfectly NT even, when I do not need to talk (much) or think much. I'm busy thinking 'don't do this' 'try not to do that'. Maybe I forget a few details, but that's me being scatterbrained then. I appear very able like this to people, that's a really good thing and that's why I get all kinds of jobs I can't hold for more than one week.

How come so many on here can hold a regular job? Do you appear odd/autistic in your workplace = don't need to act normal and thus can concentrate on your work fully? Can you control yourself fully to be NT, like I do, but actually work at the same time? How do you do that?

I would try to find a job that allowed you to be yourself to some extent. I have only held one job and i quit after about four months, but it was as a driver for a pizza delivery store. I could work at night when there were less people around, spent most of my time alone, driving,out in the county or at least not in traffic, and i could get out of most of the stuff i had trouble with. I never really got in trouble for not answering phones etc and i didn't need to talk much while in the store, unless it was really busy and then it would be pretty stressful. I'm okay when it is just me and one or two other people, especially if i have been alone,in my car with the radio on for a few minutes, so that wasn't bad. I applied for a job at a petco a few days ago and i think that will be okay, i would be able to work with the reptiles,amphibians, and arthropods for the most part and most of the talking would be about subjects i love talking about and frequently join in conversation with people about( atleast when i get the opportunity). I also know the people at the store a little. I could never,ever,ever do something that wasn't somewhat engaging with minimal chit chat or with lots of people, so i just try to look for stuff that i can do.

I doubt many people with autism or AS are able to 'learn' how to act after a certain age. I think it is mostly an adjustment and you simply adjust and adapt better or worse and in certain ways. Find something that allows you to function in the ways you have learned to function or allows you to simply be yourself.

There's the old "be yourself" adage but you should be able to address little aspects of your personality that are antisocial and this in its own right could go a long way. Like for instance I used to warn people not to touch me in the back because I tended to become aggressive, but I eventually managed to stop myself reacting whenever it happened and I don't even need to warn anyone.

Most people, with AS or otherwise, would probably admit that they're "faking" to a greater or lesser extent in job interviews.

Sora,

To answer your question, I appear normal to most people. I was lucky enough to have a career in jobs that I could do (not well, but I could do them).

I can do some jobs, but most jobs I could never do and this got worse as I got older, I think. I don't believe I could compete in today's competitive job market.

There are many people here who are not as severely impacted by their affliction, whatever it may be, as you are.

Sounds like you have a very serious impairment and probably will not be able to do the things that many people here manage to do.

Do what we all do.....do the best you can to cope. Study the available jobs intensively and look for something you think you might be able to do. Get all the help you can from government programs. Keep reading here and elsewhere to learn how other people cope.

That's life. You can only play the cards you have been dealt as best you can.

I wish you well.

Sometimes, you've got to fake it, to make it.

Actually I'm not very affected. I can only take those I know from real life as concrete reference and out of all these, I'm extremely able. Just not when it comes to a regular job, but overall, I'm very high-functioning and can do everything else. Excluded a typical job. Or school for that matter.
That's what I don't understand, while I'm hf, I can't hold a mini job even. When I'm myself, I don't even get the job in the first place. It's not that I'm rude, I was told I'm not, I just appear very crazy to say so. Odd. People also read things into me which are not true, which is a big issue here.

I recently learned that there is a slight but real possibility that I can study medicine despite my not so good performance in school. But doing this, I of course would end up in a job that requires constant social life, as the thing I'd like to do most in the field of medicine is to work in a hospital. Probably as paediatrician, I'd like that best.

If I'm forced to any contact with people, then I want this contact to have purpose. A doctor has a strong purpose and I'm a person that is always driven by a purpose. I don't mind the social component, I'm okay with people, but other people strongly mind me usually and would turn me down if I were myself.

I got sick, as in, my mental health declined, in a mini job that is said to be fit for autistic people. It was one in the IT branch I don't know why it wasn't perfect for me, but it was the one job I actually had to leave due to sudden mood changes and slight depression without being kicked out. I'm usually not depressive and anxious and thus don't want to risk becoming this by picking another IT job that I'd have to do for a life-time this time.

I'm again utterly fascinated with the prospect of becoming a doctor. I wanted to become this when I was young and until four years ago, when I realised out of sudden could not keep up in a public school. Now I learned that the possibility is still real and it is so very very tempting again.
The most tempting career I could have possibly found is the hardest one I can imagine, that's so... annoying. Not sad, but annoying, because I really want to be a doctor and obstacles get me angry usually.



Oh and I'm totally in on the touching issue. I helped out in a dance centre once and people kept touching my back and arms, for reasons of expressing gratitude or complimenting me. It had me frozen in place most of the time.

Well, I don't really "fake" being an NT. My AS isn't extremely noticeable in most situations, it's really only in very unfamiliar situations or when someone really gets to know me that it shows up.

Yeah working is good practise for getting on with people but i'm similar.

Will you teach me your secret? I'm a hard worker, but I have the hardest time with interviews!

I'd tell you if I knew how to learn it any normal and humane way. I can control everything I do for a short amount of time and thus am able to use that to my advantage in a setting like an interview that demands a short period of concentration and control from me.

I don't even fake being NT!

I guess it's a learned art. I have a lot of friends who just happen to be good around people and who have charisma. I'm trying to learn how to say the right thing, and to at least "fake it" to not put people off. I'm 19, so I don't have to worry just yet (and I'm pretty set for the summer because my boss likes me), but in the fall I will be applying to many places for part-time jobs. I am trying to learn these skills now so that I'll have a job in the future.

My two cents is to use your tendency to focus on details and "intellectualize" things and make it work for you. Use that to "focus" and "learn" how things are done in certain social circumstances. That's at least how it worked for me... I literally had to "learn" by fire and by observing, like some odd sort of ethnographic project. That being said, it's different for different people, so you'll have to find a process or pattern that fits your personality best.

Yes, I have this problem too, people think I'm a professional because I have a relaxed easy-going attitude, and I can tell them what they want to hear. I usually use technical words and do well in interviews. (I think part of the reason that I'm not nervous in interviews is that I don't care--I have nothing to lose. )

But I usually last a few days until people realize I'm odd. The trick is just to find people who will accept you for who you are, and some people are simply too judgemental. But it's their loss, not yours. If you are a good person, and you're good at your job, then there are bound to be people who appreciate you as an employee. Just keep trying, and it will feel more natural. Focus on your job, and don't worry too much what people think of you--just be friendly when you see them, but do your own thing.

This is really good advice. I've actually been talking to one of my friends about this who understands my asperger's, she's been giving me plenty of great advice.

I've been getting better at it though, I just need to learn when to say the right thing and what the right thing to say is...

Thank you for your advice TrubPotto!

I once faked so well in a job interview and they were keen to get someone in quickly too, so I got the job and couldn't actually do it properly

Sometimes its best to just be yourself.