Are you in need of constant reassurance?



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acousticvalley
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04 Oct 2005, 8:08 pm

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Last edited by acousticvalley on 09 Nov 2005, 2:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Litguy
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04 Oct 2005, 8:25 pm

Yeah, pretty much the same. I'd say that I'm looking for constant reassurance from my wife (of 23 years). Happily, she's pretty darn patient and usually gives it to me.

At 56, I'm not particularly defensive about my manhood anymore.



SpaceCase
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04 Oct 2005, 8:27 pm

acousticvalley wrote:
May I be honest with you people here? I am a person who has low self esteem and who needs constant reassurance. I need a girlfriend who will give me praise a lot and hug me and rub my back and kiss my forehead. I need a girlfriend who will treat me like a puppy dog. I know this may sound childish but it's just my nature, I am like a dog. I don't feel comfortable unless a girl is treating me with a lot of affection, is that acceptable? I want it to be, it's what I want. Surely it must be okay? I feel kind of ashamed to be so needy because it's not seen as a desirable trait in a male I suppose, but I can't help the way I am, I was born this way. And I just need a girl who can respect that and live with it. I just needed to say that, thank you.

Is anyone else like me here?



My self-esteem is kind of low,and sometimes I need reassurance.Luckily,I ahve friends who are like that.I used to date this girl who would do that(the guy did,too).It made me feel special for a while,but then I didn't like them more than friends so...

-SpaceCase :)


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theSPECTRE
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04 Oct 2005, 8:38 pm

Spacecase from what I've seen on this forum you seem like an interesting smart kind girl I am sure things will change for you and all of us for that matter

SpaceCase wrote:
acousticvalley wrote:
May I be honest with you people here? I am a person who has low self esteem and who needs constant reassurance. I need a girlfriend who will give me praise a lot and hug me and rub my back and kiss my forehead. I need a girlfriend who will treat me like a puppy dog. I know this may sound childish but it's just my nature, I am like a dog. I don't feel comfortable unless a girl is treating me with a lot of affection, is that acceptable? I want it to be, it's what I want. Surely it must be okay? I feel kind of ashamed to be so needy because it's not seen as a desirable trait in a male I suppose, but I can't help the way I am, I was born this way. And I just need a girl who can respect that and live with it. I just needed to say that, thank you.

Is anyone else like me here?



My self-esteem is kind of low,and sometimes I need reassurance.Luckily,I ahve friends who are like that.I used to date this girl who would do that(the guy did,too).It made me feel special for a while,but then I didn't like them more than friends so...

-SpaceCase :)


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joku_muko
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04 Oct 2005, 8:41 pm

I dont know why this is in romance...

But I always need reassurance to know what to do... Like today I didnt do something I really need to cause the person who I need reassurance from didnt go to work.



hale_bopp
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04 Oct 2005, 8:42 pm

I can honestly say no, I am not.

If I was I would make threads posting my picture, insult myself to you people, and make threads about leaving.

Insecure people are probably the most annoying type of people I know.. I don't have anything against you people or anything, as I don't know you or the extent you do this to.

But I often scare some guys off by saying: Saying that puts me off you, doesn't make me feel sorry for you.



ghotistix
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04 Oct 2005, 9:09 pm

Being reassured makes me feel ill. It makes me think I'm giving off the impression of a person who needs to be constantly reassured. Thankfully, it doesn't happen often.



MindOfOrderedChaos
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04 Oct 2005, 9:19 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I can honestly say no, I am not.

If I was I would make threads posting my picture, insult myself to you people, and make threads about leaving.

Insecure people are probably the most annoying type of people I know.. I don't have anything against you people or anything, as I don't know you or the extent you do this to.

But I often scare some guys off by saying: Saying that puts me off you, doesn't make me feel sorry for you.


Ok that to me seems very harsh. You are saying actions like a depressed NT would do and are say it about inseure aspies. I bet you get reasurance Hale_bopp occassionally and have not been insulted your hole life like alot of aspies have. I have been insulted told I was stupid dumb ugly useless etc (even though I was doing well acidemically apart from the fact I could hardly write and that stopped me achiving as much as i could of achived) my hole life and have not had any Parental or friendship to once and while talk to me as though im not s**t. And here you are insulting these people. I say they have a write to want some thing. It doesn't mean that they are going to annoy every person in existance asking for reassurance all the time. It is some thing that once some one gets more self confidence and is less depressed they will be more able to cope with out reassurance for every thing they do.


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Belfast
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04 Oct 2005, 9:21 pm

I do need constant reassurance-but am direct/open about it. Try to be transparent, so I tell whomever "please repeat (this idea) as often as possible". Feel bad that I am so terribly "needy" emotionally, hasn't prevented my having relationships, though. Problem is when I don't know what is wrong, why I'm upset, so can't ask for words from other person.



MindOfOrderedChaos
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04 Oct 2005, 9:22 pm

Reassurance doesn't make me ill then again I can't say for sure because I don't really have any memorie of getting any reassurance. I don't ask for it because I don't think I will get it because I do not have that I trust to ask for it to so i have to get on with life with out it. In some cases I don't do alot of things just because im not sure if there good ideas or not so i just don't do them.


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Last edited by MindOfOrderedChaos on 04 Oct 2005, 10:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

julieme
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04 Oct 2005, 10:03 pm

:?: Am I insecure or always seeking data? Interesting question.

Wonder which? If I say smething or do something for my sig other - I always need to know if he really liked it. and I cannot always tell so I ask alot.



hale_bopp
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05 Oct 2005, 2:03 am

Quote:
You are saying actions like a depressed NT would do and are say it about inseure aspies.


???????

Quote:
I bet you get reasurance Hale_bopp occassionally and have not been insulted your hole life like alot of aspies have.


Actually, I don't, and I have been insulted all my life. My attitude towards people these days was 100% formed by the way i've been treated by people. It's a surprise I have any self esteem left at all. But getting insulted all the time hardened me to it, and made me learn to cope with it.

Quote:
I have been insulted told I was stupid dumb ugly useless


Id be surprised if there are many people at all that haven't been called that.
I've been called DUMB, UGLY, STUPID AND USELESS so much I can't remember, it anoys me because it is not true, I've been called "The ugliest girl in the school" - by some loser when I was about 8, I'm quite proud of the way I coped with it actually, I just said "I know."

So get over yourself, MindOfOrderedChaos, and get your facts right before you assume things like that.



vetivert
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05 Oct 2005, 3:22 am

i need constant reassurance. but then, i know i have self esteem and self confidence issues. i imagine i often come over as arrogant or as a know-it-all because of that - doesn't do much for my popularity, i'm sure.

when i got my M.A., i phoned everyone i knew. most of them were pretty unimpressed - they all said something along the lines of, "oh, well, we always knew you would". i suppose that suggests they had faith in my abilities, but i was so upset - i wanted people to be excited and congratulate me, and tell me how clever i am.

i'm getting "better" as i grow older. but not that much.

sometimes, i just need "witnesses" to my life, and the things i achieve/do. does that sound familiar?



hale_bopp
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05 Oct 2005, 3:52 am

vetivert wrote:
sometimes, i just need "witnesses" to my life, and the things i achieve/do. does that sound familiar?


Yep.

It's always better if people know about cool stuff you've done.



acousticvalley
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05 Oct 2005, 4:47 am

...



Last edited by acousticvalley on 09 Nov 2005, 2:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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