She refers to me as darling...

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m91
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02 Apr 2008, 3:36 pm

And I'm TOTALLY lost. What the heck should I do?

I've known this girl since I started college in September, and I would say I've been a close friend with her. I've been working so hard to make friends etc since I started in new college, with a clean slate, and I think I'm actually improving my social skills, and perhaps things have gone better than I intended.

She's always been a flirty person towards many guys and me, but she seems to be pushing it a bit with me.

Even as a friend, I know that she trusts me very much as she told me that her mother died and I was one of the first to know, and was talking to me about it. And since her mother has died, she obviously hasn't been as cheerful since then.

She hugs me nearly everyday when she sees me, and just talks in that typical sweet voice. BUT the thing is she hugs lots of other guys a well.

I've suspected for a while that there is some chemistry between us, but I don't have the courage to act on it.

And today she came to me and asked "How are you darling?" and I managed to mumble a few words when she said it. ugh. But at least I know I haven't messed up this time.

This is actually like the third time she's has referred to me this way. But don't get me wrong, she didn't suddenly jump into this. Things have built up gradually.

I don't have a clue how to approach this whole situation, but I think I may be able to take this beyond a friendship for once in my life. I'll be kicking myself so hard if I mess this up.

Just to let you know, I'm 17.

EDIT: Its not just about this, but if I do make a move, and it goes well, I still don't have a clue how I will ever be able to maintain a relationship in the long term IF anything even happens.

EDIT AGAIN: I forgot to mention that it's not just her calling me darling, but around 2 or 3 times now, she has pinched my cheek when she greeted me. Would that imply anything?


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Last edited by m91 on 08 Apr 2008, 2:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.

LePetitPrince
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02 Apr 2008, 3:38 pm

I use the word 'dear' and 'darling' to many girls and many girls use them to call me too...It means nothing really, especially if she's of the flirty type.



EverythingisBoinga
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02 Apr 2008, 4:14 pm

Well, I am a girl. And I have found that when dealing with members of the opposite sex I do tend to throw out endearing terms (having lived in the south it's hard to avoid) but i try to avoid using them to people i particularly don't want to have the wrong impression by it.

honestly---in this age what would it hurt to just grab her and kiss her?
if she does reject you (and i, with an effort like that, would never)

it would be so worth it.



Caroline677
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02 Apr 2008, 4:45 pm

If she's flirting with you, and you like her, then go along with it. I don't know if I'd grab her and kiss her-- that could have awkward repercussions if she isn't really interested in you-- but hug her sometime. Ask her out. Do something to indicate that you're interested, and see what happens. If she does like you, and thinks that you might like her, she'll flirt more and it'll become obvious. If she doesn't, and she's a reasonably compassionate person, she'll tone it down once she realizes how you're interpreting it. Either way you should be able to stay friends with her.



sinagua
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02 Apr 2008, 5:11 pm

I'm from the south and it's fairly common to call someone "dear" or "sweetheart" or "sweetie" or "hon" or "darlin'" without meaning anything romantic - a cashier at the grocery store or a waitress at a restaurant could call you that. It's just a term of general endearment, like how in England they sometimes call each other "love." (As in, "Pass me the sugar, would you, love?")



weather1man
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02 Apr 2008, 6:51 pm

I live in the south too, I've even heard young women call old women darling or hun.


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Veresae
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02 Apr 2008, 7:40 pm

Yeah, I have a friend who has called me "darling," and she's been very happily attached to her boi for a year now, I believe. I was weirded out at first too, lol.



MartyMoose
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02 Apr 2008, 7:42 pm

Exactly How does one "Darl"?



roguetech
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03 Apr 2008, 3:27 pm

I also don't agree with grabbing and kissing... I'd hate to violate someone trust on a hunch. Personally, I'd just go along with it. Flirt back. See how far she's willing to go with flirting. She'll stop when/if she's not comfortable, and then you just made a minor social gaff of flirting one comment too far.



LePetitPrince
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03 Apr 2008, 5:11 pm

EverythingisBoinga wrote:

honestly---in this age what would it hurt to just grab her and kiss her?
if she does reject you (and i, with an effort like that, would never)

it would be so worth it.


What kind of stupid delusional advise is this? As if in this age (17 yo) a guy doesn't live in a social environment called school where he would be prone to embarrassment if he does something like this , grabbing and kissing all the sudden without unpleasant reaction from the girl only happen in the movies ...not in the real life. In real life , even if she likes you ...she might be furious by this act...and basing on what he's thinking that she might likes him? on the word 'darling'?



Bopkasen
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03 Apr 2008, 8:26 pm

Caroline677 wrote:
If she's flirting with you, and you like her, then go along with it. I don't know if I'd grab her and kiss her-- that could have awkward repercussions if she isn't really interested in you-- but hug her sometime. Ask her out. Do something to indicate that you're interested, and see what happens. If she does like you, and thinks that you might like her, she'll flirt more and it'll become obvious. If she doesn't, and she's a reasonably compassionate person, she'll tone it down once she realizes how you're interpreting it. Either way you should be able to stay friends with her.


There more to it than that. You can't grab female because you feel like it.

Beside.... that stunt doesn't work like that in reality compares to romance movies.



Caroline677
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03 Apr 2008, 9:48 pm

Well, I wouldn't advise it in all situations. But a boy (albeit close friend) grabbed me and kissed me and it worked out. I thought, awesome, he cares enough to take a risk and put himself in what could have been a very awkward position. And I admired that, because I wasn't as courageous and wanted to be.

But I'm not all girls, and I wouldn't have reacted that way to any random guy--

still, I wouldn't say that it "only works out in movies."



m91
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07 Apr 2008, 1:45 pm

At least I have 2 weeks before going back to college as it's currently my holidays, so I have enough time to think about this.


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Jamie06
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07 Apr 2008, 3:33 pm

I've been called hun, darling etc alot, soo confusing. If you feel you like her and think she may like you then build up to it slowly.



ToadOfSteel
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07 Apr 2008, 6:28 pm

MartyMoose wrote:
Exactly How does one "Darl"?


No, the appropriate question is "Where exactly is Darl", since "Darling" means a denizen of Darl, like "Earthling" is a denizen of Earth... :P



Caravaggio
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08 Apr 2008, 1:54 pm

My best friend refers to me as dear, darling, sweetie, baby, and a few others at times. Has her own personal nickname for me too.

Just means shes attached to you at the very least, wouldn't read into it myself for a lot of reasons.