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themonkey
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30 Apr 2008, 5:30 am

but social skills come intuitively, natural to you? Is ít aspergers then or not



Shelby
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30 Apr 2008, 5:32 am

Err...no idea. Social skills don't really come naturally to me, but I have learned certain things like eye contact and proper greeting and it comes more naturally now.



Mirage
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30 Apr 2008, 8:12 am

I know i lack social skills, but i expect it would vary from individual to individual (like most traits do)
Social skills are something i have yet to master fully, i mostly recreate what others reactions are in the same situation... and I am very proud of my ability to fool people the first time i meet them (although after a while they realise I cant do that all the time)



shopaholic
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30 Apr 2008, 8:34 am

Is it that they really come naturally to you, or is it just that you believe that they do?

i.e. when you interact with others, do they perceive you as acting normally, or are you just oblivious to their signals when they perceive you as weird?

In either case, your own experience would be similar.

That is why I always answer "don't know" to questions about how other people perceive me!



matsuiny2004
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30 Apr 2008, 10:52 am

themonkey wrote:
but social skills come intuitively, natural to you? Is ít aspergers then or not


Actually social skills are learned concepts, they do not come naturally to anybody and can very in every country 8O

In japan it is disrespectful to look a person in the eyes 8O



trotz
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30 Apr 2008, 11:07 am

When it comes to social skills, I think I come off as being uninterested quite often. It's not that I am this way, but I'm just afraid of saying the wrong thing. If the topic is of my interest, I'll either jump into it too quickly or just pretend not to know anything about it, depending on what my mood is at the time. If it isn't, I'll just stay out of it completely. I look at this as case of my problem of finding "middle ground" in situations.



tailfins1959
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30 Apr 2008, 11:08 am

themonkey wrote:
but social skills come intuitively, natural to you? Is ít aspergers then or not


I'm stone blind when it comes to social cues. My only hope is to access instructions for "what to do if" for different scenarios. I'm often described as "robotic".


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Specter
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30 Apr 2008, 11:22 am

not intuitively, but I have memorized most social rules and can mimic gestures. Except eye contact :S


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scumsuckingdouchebag
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30 Apr 2008, 11:26 am

My social skills are poor. My difficulty with proper eye contact and what others have described as "stiff" body language are problems I'm still trying to overcome(and have made enough progress to have a successful job interview months back, but that may just have been the company being desperate for engineers). People at work used to love playing pranks on me because they knew I'd fall for them without suspecting a thing. I'd usually be the last person there to understand jokes when they were made, sometimes needing them to be explained.

Quote:
i.e. when you interact with others, do they perceive you as acting normally, or are you just oblivious to their signals when they perceive you as weird?


In most cases, unless other people tell me I'm being weird, I often don't know it. In some cases, my ways of having fun are cited as weird and I know people will think it's weird but I don't care(eg. the day I got layed off I saw a mallard in the middle of a yard in front of the office, and I chased it around trying to pick it up. It kept flying away.).



samantca
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30 Apr 2008, 1:29 pm

matsuiny2004 wrote:
themonkey wrote:
but social skills come intuitively, natural to you? Is ít aspergers then or not


Actually social skills are learned concepts, they do not come naturally to anybody and can very in every country 8O

In japan it is disrespectful to look a person in the eyes 8O


That settles it, im moving to Japan :lol:

And yeah everyone sort of has to learn proper behaviour. If our parents never taught us anything, like talk or eat... We would be sitting on the ground naked. Probably eating off the ground as well.

I think most people can LEARN how to cope socially to some extent, but some do it better than others.