just a few thoughts from an NT

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There are variations to everything and I think it all depends where you grow up but as an NT let me give my two cents about who is nicer in general in teen years. Granted I grow up in the northeast in the NY metro area, and if you grew up in the Northeast or West people are very tolerant. However, if you grew up in the deep south this is not the case as much. In my opinion girls are always the nicest. I was always told it was because I was cute that girls were nice to me and that may have been a factor, but I think even for guys girls can make even better friends than a lot of guys. Now I've heard that Aspie males who are usually into sci-fi and video games have very male ineterests so its harder for them to relate to girls. I on the other hand had what many would call feminine interests broadway musicals, romantic comedies, I was always well groomed and dressed. Now I had great male friends too and most everyone was tolerant, but the people that went out of their way to comfort me when I was down (which wasn't very often) were almost always girls. My point here is part of the whole getting a girlfriend thing is understanding girls, which despite being a shy person I think I understand girls quite well. Now not all girls are the same of course. It is important not to read all the BS online and in self-help books about what women want because that is feeding into a post-1970's ideology that I cannot stand, and frankly and old-age American trait I cannot stand of self-help and individualism. It is also important to never blame yourself for anything. If you are having a hard time making friends and you are nice and considerate there is something wrong with society. If you are well mannered, well grommed, and handsome and can't get a girlfriend then there is something wrong with society. I have (because of my shyness probablly) ended up with girls who could be very domineering and pushy, while they weren't abusive they could border on it. I dealt with this by telling them to cut it out firmly. Also just so all the Aspie males know not having friends or a girlfriend is a result of how you talk to people. If you talk to someone about video games who is obviously into fashion you will bore them out of their f*****g mind. Just thought I wold get my two cents in as an NT who has had Aspie friends.

Poeples talk to me about fashion (and cars and hockey...) all day long and IT DOES bore ME out of my f***** mind.... Why would this only goes one way ?

..... Looking for Aspies for random discussions about astrophysics and/or geology and/or paleonthology and/or biology and/or evolution ..... PM me

It doesn't go one way, it goes both ways.

If you talk at length about a subject to someone who has no interest in that subject, you will bore them to death.

It doesn't go one way. The point is you try to take an interest in what there saying or move on to a topic your both interested in.

::Ahem::

Not being on the Autistic spectrum does not automatically make one Neurotypical.

Videogames or no, (personally they bore me to death- I'd rather draw, write or just stand and stim to music for hours at a time), going on and on and on about anything (see any of my long-winded posts ), like "I know girls soooo well, because I very nearly am a girl" is likely to induce a snooze.

BTW: grew up smack-dab in the middle of the deep south and frankly found the guys to be just as friendly and/or redneck (depending on the individual) as the girls. 'Course I only recall one person of either sex talking much about Broadway musicals and he wasn't looking for a girlfriend.

I have found in my life that for most men cruelty involves hitting people. Women/girls can be FAR more cruel without lifting a finger. The psychological torture I have undergone at the hands of women would probably keep a psychiatrist in his job for while...not meaning to say that some male are not pathalogically unhinged too of course.

Very true. I think for example odd boys have it easier with their male peers growing up than oddd girls with their female peers. There are worse scars than those from a fist-fight.

Personally, I've seen so many bad relationships, and went through the hell of a serious long term relationship falling apart, that I'm very picky about what girls I want. For good or ill, I'm not the sort of person that is going to have a mental breakdown if I'm single for more than five minutes; I'd much rather be single than be with the wrong person. It's literally been years since I met a girl that wasn't taken for the long haul and that I would actually want to ask out (I did ask a taken girl out once, she said no), so I've been single for years, and perhaps I'll always be single.

As a girl, I resent this implication that every girl is interested in fashion and musicals and they do not want to talk about sci-fi or video games or computers. The biggest musical fan I knew in high school was male, and most guys I've talked to are not so interested in the sci-fi/video game/computer spectrum of conversations.

The disorder is that we don't get those boundaries in conversations and that we can't tell if we're boring somebody to death. We'll try, but a lot of times it's not possible.
Please don't get mad at us for something we cannot help!