Do your parents still treat you like a child?

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tweety_fan
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09 May 2008, 5:36 am

mine do a little bit but not much.



09 May 2008, 8:20 am

I maybe living on my own but sometimes my mother will still treat me like a child over the phone or when she is visiting. I might get that again when I go and see my parents.



Jordy
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09 May 2008, 9:11 am

HI I am an NT Mom. My son is non verbal autistic. He is so smart, much smarter that I could ever wish to be.
The reason NT parents treat their child like a child is because they don't realise how smart their autistic child actually is.
My son is brilliant and I try in my best way to learn what he has to teach me. He is three and he has taught me so much.
I don't want him to not have autism, I am facinated by it. I think it is fantastic. I love to just let him do what he wants because I can see it is so important. I am proud to have a brilliant child. Even if it is brilliance I don't quite understand yet.
He is fantastic and I am proud to be his mother. I have signed up so you guys can teach me. Us NT's are so quick to try and make you like us. That is wrong. You see things so much better and clearer than we do. Thank You for being on this planet even if it is the wrong one. I have so much to learn from you. Please help me with that. I need your help, will you teach me?



Followthereaper90
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09 May 2008, 10:14 am

feel free to discuss and ask guestions:)


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KingdomOfRats
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09 May 2008, 11:48 am

Jordy wrote:
HI I am an NT Mom. My son is non verbal autistic. He is so smart, much smarter that I could ever wish to be.
The reason NT parents treat their child like a child is because they don't realise how smart their autistic child actually is.
My son is brilliant and I try in my best way to learn what he has to teach me. He is three and he has taught me so much.
I don't want him to not have autism, I am facinated by it. I think it is fantastic. I love to just let him do what he wants because I can see it is so important. I am proud to have a brilliant child. Even if it is brilliance I don't quite understand yet.
He is fantastic and I am proud to be his mother. I have signed up so you guys can teach me. Us NT's are so quick to try and make you like us. That is wrong. You see things so much better and clearer than we do. Thank You for being on this planet even if it is the wrong one. I have so much to learn from you. Please help me with that. I need your help, will you teach me?

Jordy,
sound like are the best mum any child could have.

am also non verbal [though occasionally have limited speech],and have never been expected to get anywhere by mum.
mum now sees the things am good at and does not dismiss them anymore.
am can use computers,she cannot even use a tv remote,she has a freeview box and she has never been able to turn it on,dad has to do that.

quoted what Followthereaper90 says,if have anything want to know post a topic on it,doesnt matter what its about,will find users from all ends of the spectrum on WP,as well as users off the spectrum which will give a lot of different replies.


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LeKiwi
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09 May 2008, 12:12 pm

My parents don't really, except when we're discussing my AS or I do something overtly Aspergic, then suddenly I'm a child again. They try not to be patronising but sometimes that's how it comes across to me... they just don't understand that I know whatever I've done isn't the 'right' or 'normal' thing to do, but I can't help it and do it anyway, and in hindsight will wish I hadn't. So in those instances, like if I've just had a meltdown and need someone to vent at, they'll not quite understand why their smart, independent daughter has suddenly done something she hasn't done much of since she was 11, and I guess for that reason revert to thinking I am that age again.

If that makes any sense.


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PrisonerSix
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09 May 2008, 3:59 pm

When I had a relationship with them, they did. They always treated me like I couldn't do anything for myself. They would always remind me of things that happened when I was a child, and how they define what I am, and nothing else I've ever done mattered.

They also used to love reminding me that I have no personality, whatever that means, and that is what caused all my problems.

My father died 8 years ago and my mother doesn't speak to me anymore. I've found someone to marry who accepts me as I am and my parents never liked it when their kids got married, it was like they were choosing someone else over them. Sometimes they got over it, other times they didn't.

My siblings aren't much better to me, so I avoid them as well.


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Felinity
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09 May 2008, 4:22 pm

I'm 45 and my mother treats me like I'm a baby whenever I'm around her... so, I AVOID HER at all costs.... No matter how much I have gotten in her face about it and insisted, she refuses: "You will always be my baby"..... It has gotten to the point where we have NO real relationship whatsoever..

Now, She does not know where I live...

She does not have my home phone number

I'm actually hoping to never have to see her again....


She does not see me as a human being apparently and has no real concept of how totally humiliating it is at my age and after all of my struggles and what I accomplished... She took away all of my accomplishments .. saying all my hard work was useless because I wasn't "using my brain"... She can degrade so horribly this way and yet make herself seem so "sweet" to others... She just about killed me my treating me in this humiliating way... In the past, it made me want to take my own life it was so humiliating... I think she does it to get an EGO TRIP out of it for herself... honestly... it makes her feel bigger. I have given up on trying to get her to change her views and just have to avoid her and her family...

I now know that she will never change and that She is basically poison to me. Eventually, soon.. I may end up getting a restraining order if she tries to insist upon knowing where I live.. Ultimately, I hope that she will never know where I am, that I will never have to speak to her again and that I will be completely free of her entire side of the family... that is my plan and I will seek legal means if necessary in order to accomplish that...

It sometimes just comes to that... if they won't try to understand and see you as an adult human being after all these years, then, I say cut off all ties... I'm 45 and after many years of degradation, I will have nothing more to do with any of them. It's hard enough getting by in this world with this "disability" or whatever you want to call it.. but I'm not going to let her or that family degrade me anymore and I find that I am treated better by strangers and new friends...