My son has been dressing in his mom's clothes

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slowmutant
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22 May 2008, 2:56 pm

Danger of impending pain, suffering, disorder, disaster. I don't know hown this scenario could end well, no matter the choices made. A crossdressing kid is like an albatross at sea, or a dead canary in a coal mine.



thisjustin
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22 May 2008, 3:05 pm

well. perhaps an answer is undue negative pressure from friends, family, peers, strangers. why...because that is how popele operate. they take their pain out on others. the question is who do they choose? those that appear weak. those that stand out. those that look better, feel better, act better, act superior, act inferior. the list goes on and on. this has been very helpful to me good friends. you have helped me think it through. communication with my son, love, help when he needs it. the world is made up of lots of whole people with broken parts. it includes us all. i have already started a dialogue with my son. he doesn't know i know yet. so i am talking to him about acceptance. and pointing out some of my many flaws. why does it matter to avoid flaws when we can? security. anything standing out tends to get cut deep by random acts of ignorance. hookers on the street being beaten, martin luther king being shot. i wonder why it all is. but i am certain love is the lessor of all evils.



slowmutant
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22 May 2008, 3:12 pm

Love can never be an evil.

Love defeats ignorance, despair, sickness, and death.



Triangular_Trees
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22 May 2008, 3:44 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
Hi,

How old is your son?
If he is old enough to know better, then it's just sexual nuttyness.

Does your son have his eye on someone at school?
He may be embarrased to talk about his fantasies with both you & your ex-wife,
so it may be best to sit him down and talk to him through mediation.

It will be just you & your son. No one else.


Thats quite a gross exageration based on commonly held cliches. There is nothing about dressing in the opposite sex clothes in itself that has anything to do with exploring sexual feelings or being gay.

Just as there is nothing about being transgendered that means you have to like people who are of a certain sex for romantic relationships

There was a time it was considered wrong, disgusting, a sexual iindentity crisis etc if a woman wore pants. But there were brave souls who knew better than that, and went out and dressed the way they preferred, and thats why its okay for women to wear whatever they want know. Men are just starting to do the same. I think the first time I saw a man in women's clothes was about 2 years, but now I've seen over a dozen. I've been places with men dressed in women's fashions hundreds of times (largely because i'm dating a man who prefers to dress that way). Only the ignorant think twice about it and more often than not the ignorant is someone old enough to have lived when it was frowned on fir women to wear pants. In other words, someone with enough life experience that there is no possible valid excuse for them to have a single negative thought about the scenario. Most people don't even bother a second glance, let alone try to treat him any differently. Young people in their twenties, often don't notice until someone points it out to them



slowmutant
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22 May 2008, 4:11 pm

I think I might notice. I'm not blind, nor am I stupid.



Triangular_Trees
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22 May 2008, 4:28 pm

slowmutant wrote:
I think I might notice. I'm not blind, nor am I stupid.


Then why would you notice?

Aside from it being the first time you would have seen it, the only reason to "notice" is to be intentionally, ignorant or rude. I saw hundreds of outfits today. The only one that caught me eye was because someone sent their 5 year old to school in an outfit that had phat written over it a hundred times (can't believe the school even allowed that given what the most common accepted definition is for phat in this area). i couldn't begin to recall the other outfits.

I would think you would want to be considered intelligent enough and observant enough to notice the person you are talking to rather than preferring to focus on something thats completely extraneous to whatever you were doing at the time or wanted the person for.You wouldn't notice if it wer a girl, so why would you even want to notice if it were a guy



slowmutant
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22 May 2008, 4:35 pm

I would notice because it is a man dressed as a woman.

Kind of hard to miss that, even post-op.

Do you think crossdressers are somhow invisible? The disguise is never a convincing disguise. You really would have to be blind to not notice a 6'1" 200 lb. man in a miniskirt, stiletto heels, and a blonde wig.



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22 May 2008, 6:18 pm

slowmutant wrote:
IdahoRose wrote:
Lots of men have a fetish for wearing women's undergarments. It's not uncommon, and it doesn't mean your son is gay. In fact, the majority of men who have this fetish are straight. You can trust me on this - fetishes are one of my obsessions.


Lots of men?

Not uncommon?

Are you encouraging this kid to blossom into a sexual deviant? Transvestism in early childhood sure doesn't indicate normality. This father is very correct to be nervous. This boy should be in therapy or counselling, not playing dress-up with Mommy's lipstick &l ingerie. That just isn't healthy behaviour for a child.


Transvestisism and cross-dressing is not uncommon and sounds like you are having a mere fear of what is unknown to you.



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22 May 2008, 10:07 pm

Just a thought here, but aspies tend to be VERY interested in things they are interested in. Perhaps he has just become interested in girls and all things girl-related? I don't know. Have you considered talking gently to him about it? My toddler son loves dress up heels, scarves and all the fancy things his big sister puts in her hair. Curiosity is natural at any age, and I guess I'd consider it that until it posed some problem.


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22 May 2008, 10:47 pm

The problem with folks like slowmutant is that he is only speaking from personal opinion apparantly not based upon any experience with the subject matter.

He does this with any issue on WP concerning sexuality and/or gender.

There are others also that take the same approach... answer a question with unsubstantiated comments which form the basis of attack towards a group of people.

His comments here are basically meaningless in regards to the what the OP is looking for.

I found many other comments here quite interesting and very worthwhile, though. :wink:


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Who_Am_I
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22 May 2008, 10:58 pm

slowmutant wrote:
Love can never be an evil.

Love defeats ignorance, despair, sickness, and death.


And cross-dressing, too, I suppose...


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slowmutant
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22 May 2008, 11:00 pm

How can I offer anything but my own opinion?



wsmac
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23 May 2008, 12:54 am

slowmutant wrote:
How can I offer anything but my own opinion?


By offering factual information as well?


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wsmac
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23 May 2008, 1:26 am

slowmutant... when you say things like...


slowmutant wrote:

Lots of men?

Not uncommon?

Are you encouraging this kid to blossom into a sexual deviant? Transvestism in early childhood sure doesn't indicate normality. This father is very correct to be nervous. This boy should be in therapy or counselling, not playing dress-up with Mommy's lipstick &l ingerie. That just isn't healthy behaviour for a child.


although this may be your opinion, it does not offer anything to the conversation at hand.
Nor does it offer an answer to the question posted originally.

You make claims which you cannot back up with experience nor facts.

I do believe you could have some really great things to add to many of the threads here on wrong planet, but most of what I see you post is just personal diatribe.
I admit that I do this same thing sometimes, but I try to catch it and correct it.

Anyway... no hard feelings from my end, and I'll try to refrain from any personal attacks towards you. :wink:


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Zwerfbeertje
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23 May 2008, 2:34 am

slowmutant wrote:
I would notice because it is a man dressed as a woman.


You'd never know it if you didn't notice and thus you'd unknowingly perpetuate your delusions.

Btw, I've been mistaken for a woman without even trying to look like one.



wsmac
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23 May 2008, 3:04 am

Zwerfbeertje wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
I would notice because it is a man dressed as a woman.


You'd never know it if you didn't notice and thus you'd unknowingly perpetuate your delusions.

Btw, I've been mistaken for a woman without even trying to look like one.


Slowmutant and I think Oscuria both have this thing about using the example of a 6' 200lb man dressing as a woman and being easy to spot.

I know from being involved in the local transgendered community that this is not the norm.
There are plenty of transsexuals both MtoF and FtoM who pass quite well and I have no reason to believe these guy here can spot those people.

But it sounds better to bash people when you exaggerate things I guess. :roll:


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