KateShroud wrote:
Oggleleus wrote:
Yep and Nep. For me, the desire to be alone usually comes after a lot of social interaction. But after time to recuperate, I want to spend time with that person(s). Family is the same way. Like being around them but just not all of the time. Spent 10 years in a relationship where I was smothered to the point that I only had 1 nanometer of my soul still remaining. Asking for time alone, I found will hurt their feelings (really depends on amount of time) but if they respect you and are understanding then it should work out. For me, it created a lot of problems because the other person thought I was up to something when I asked for some alone time.
How did you get this person to trust you and stop smothering you? I just assumed I'm the only aspie where he always thinks I'm up to something.
The relationship is in the past tense so the issue; I think it was never really resolved. At first the thought was that I was up to something so I would go someplace (bar) where there was a friend in common where I could be observed not doing anything out of the ordinary but really did not give me the alone time I wanted and created some other problems. Then I think the issue turned into resentment because I was offending the person by not wanting to be by her side 24/7. I think the trust was there but in the process I lost my identity. All in all, could be wrong here, but I think Aspies that like their alone time, like myself, should look for someone that does not want to live their life through your own.