Here's something I've been noticing lately...

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roygerdodger
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06 Aug 2008, 12:49 am

I seem to be the only one in my family who is actually involved with autism stuff (my mom and my sister is always trying to force me to be normal, rather than accepting me for who I am).

I wish there was some way to change that, though.

I also sometimes read the posts on this board and I always think, "Why can't my family be like that"?



Bunni
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06 Aug 2008, 3:22 am

It's often the opposite here. I am very interested in learning more knowing more, but my AS daughter is only interested in small bits. Everyone is different I think. :)


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donkey
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06 Aug 2008, 9:11 am

an interesting and incitefull observation for a 17 year old.
if you are happy with how you are and you can learn tips from your sister and mother on how to "normalise" your behaviour then your way ahead of most AS.
good for you



DW_a_mom
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06 Aug 2008, 12:52 pm

I'm glad that you approve of the approach parents on this board tend to take.

What really is the best way ... who knows. ALL parents do what they believe it best for their children. What that answer is can vary so much by the child, the community the child is going to have to live in, social and economic realities of the unique family, etc. All of which makes it difficult (impossible, actually) to say what really is the best answer. There is no one size fits all. Long run, we hope that all parents have exposure to a solid array of ideas, and are wisely choosing among them. I try not to question other parent's choices, although I will try to insure they have exposure to ideas they may have missed.

You could always engage in dialogue with your family about WHY they feel something is the best direction for you. In the process, you can also share things you have read elsewhere. Maybe you will change their minds on a few things; maybe not. Long run, you will be making your own choices for yourself, but don't discount the value of what a parent may see and know that you don't. Always give it heavy weight, even when you don't like it. AND remember that they aren't mind readers. They can only base decisions on what they KNOW of you and your life. If you don't share certain things, then you aren't giving them the tools they need to help you best they can.

I will also say, that having some negative feelings about your family and it's fit for you is a very normal and necessary part of being a teen. You are in the process of establishing your own identity, separate from your family. After more years have passed, you will find it easier to look back with understanding and even affection for some of their ideas, as long as you allow yourself to.

Gosh ... 17. I remember that age. Vaguely, lol. An exciting and scary time. Standing on the precipice of your own, independent life. I wish you all the best.


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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).