Women, what did it feel like to lose your virginity?

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poopylungstuffing
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17 Aug 2008, 3:55 pm

Annoying...uncomfrotable...depressing...but not painful....I didn't have a hymen to be broken when I lost my official virginity at 16 :?



benjimanbreeg
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17 Aug 2008, 7:43 pm

ghouna wrote:
i find it difficult to believe that the penetration happened by accident... :evil:

For some men it is not easy when they want to do it on purpose ... so by accident?


lmao, I agree, I doubt it was an accident :twisted:



release_the_bats
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17 Aug 2008, 8:44 pm

All I remember was thinking, "Huh. I thought it would feel different." I don't remember much pain, but I wasn't aware that it was supposed to be painful. I also remember that it didn't feel good and cause me to orgasm until the second time, a few days later. The orgasm caught me by surprise too. I had no idea what it was, and I was making all these uncontrollable noises, like a pleasant version of being tickled . . .

Fun Fact: The last time I went on a real date was the night I lost my virginity, over ten years ago. (I've had many relationships since, just skipped the traditional dating part.)



Popsicle
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18 Aug 2008, 2:39 pm

ManErg wrote:
If 'hard thrusts' aren't your thing, stay with women and vibrators.


First - you're a man, I noticed, posting in a thread asking about women losing their virginity? Lol. And posting to insult someone who replied? Why.

Second - you've completely misunderstood the point of what I was saying to her. You've taken it out of context as well. You've insulted me personally without knowing a thing about me. I never said I had a 'problem' with 'hard thrusts' overall or sexually. I did not speak for one moment about my sexual preferences. Not the time OR the place to do so here.

Third - What I *was* saying was that for him to be doing one thing one moment, stop, change position and thrust into her with such violence he injured her beyond the normal, is (possibly; I can't say for sure here) not an accident. That he suddenly thrust vigorously - after changing into position to enter her - is a red flag, by the sound of it in her story (which is all we have to go by) that he did not just 'slip in' by accident.

Reread my original post and you will see that's exactly what I said - as someone else also said further down the page - that slipping into a virgin accidentally sounds at least highly improbable. If he had been thrusting away from the start maybe...but then why would he be doing that if they were not TRYING to have penetration sex. See what I mean.

What it sounds like he did instead was to get her aroused so she was relaxed and not paying as much attention (eyes closed perhaps). She doesn't say if he was horizontally rubbing or pushing against her vertically. But she does say he changed position, then suddenly thrust very hard into her. Does that sound accidental to you? It doesn't to me and that is what I meant by 'red flag'.

I didn't want to elaborate like this as I do not wish to scare or upset her. But I do think she should tell exactly what happened to someone she knows and trusts in real life and possibly to her ob-gyn. I do think she should see an ob-gyn by the sound of it - but all I can do is say what things *sound like* from her telling, as obviously, none of us can see the damage or just what occured.

Your personal comment to insult me was not necessary or appreciated!



Triangular_Trees
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18 Aug 2008, 3:51 pm

it hurt but he wen't slow so not to badly. The pain was because I was nervous - its important for a woman to be relaxed during intercourse. Alot of rape injuries are caused by the woman being tense, rather than relaxed. It was miserable when he did the penile thrust

The next day he was shocked at how he could just "go right in" when the day before he really hadn't been able to get in all. The reason being is that now I knew what sex was like, I wasn't nervous and so my necessary muscles were relaxed. And I did enjoy it then, but not so much so to ever care about repeating it - the 5 times I had sex with him proved beyond any doubt that I was asexual.

There was no bleeding because I had broken my hymen in a bicycle accident a few years before (also i used tampons since I was about 12)


but I do remember looking in the mirror the next day and thinking "I don't feel any different. All those lines they feed you about losing virginity aren't true."



CleverKitten
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18 Aug 2008, 8:41 pm

Well, it doesn't hurt anymore at all, which I guess is a good thing. However, every time we attempt at penetration, his penis just will not fit without a great deal of discomfort and pain on my part. Perhaps this is just because I am too tense and nervous, I don't know. :? It just doesn't seem to be working for me yet. However, a finger can just slide in with miraculously less effort than before the accident. :P


I certainly understand everyone's concern as to whether this was really an "accident" or not, but I assure you all that penetration was not intended by any means and I am very certain that it was merely an accident.
I trust my fiancé to the fullest degree and I know that he would never ever do anything to deliberately harm me. He was very sorry about the accident and kept apologizing for it, and still felt bad about it a couple of days later, despite my reassurances.
(In fact, upon reading Popsicle's post, he called her a very nasty name. :oops: He wasn't very happy about the accusation at all.)

Ohhhh.... perhaps I should be more specific about the position we were in. Hopefully, that will help to clarify things.
Well, I was laying on my stomach, and he was laying on top of me, thrusting from behind, through my lubricated thighs. I was very aroused, and therefore very well-lubricated. I was also relaxed for the most part. He shifted his body slightly upwards, and then BAM!, a sharp horrible pain followed my a loud scream from me. Then you know the rest.

I am healed now, there is no more pain when I touch it. Although I am considering seeing a gynecologist about our current problem about "not fitting," if that's not too ridiculous. But really, I don't know what to do.


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Popsicle
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18 Aug 2008, 9:07 pm

Okay well that does clarify things, thanks. And I'm not even offended at his calling me a name. heh. I hope he realises that I was just concerned for you though.

Tension can cause the current problem you are having, and it might be a good idea to go ahead and go to the ob-gyn just to double check everything is okay.



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19 Aug 2008, 4:31 am

Popsicle wrote:
ManErg wrote:
If 'hard thrusts' aren't your thing, stay with women and vibrators.


First - you're a man, I noticed, posting in a thread asking about women losing their virginity? Lol. And posting to insult someone who replied? Why.


Sorry, it came out sounding harsher than intended - not meant to be serious, maybe if I put a smiley at the end that communicates the underlying intention better? I'll get my coat....


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flutter
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19 Aug 2008, 12:23 pm

It sounds like you're having trouble relaxing.

I recommend lots of lube, gentle pushing, and time to adjust once it's in place before he begins thrusting.

It'll give your body time to adjust to the feel of a penis inside it, and once you're used to the feel of it, and the nessecary muscles have relaxed, you can actually enjoy it.

I know I don't have a vagina, but I presume the same principles that work for anal are applicable. ;)



naughtyrobot
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20 Aug 2008, 1:23 pm

Sounds to me like he needs to entertain you without his member for a good 30 minutes and afterward you need to suck it up, if its that tight of a fit you wont be the only one in pain.... I doubt that the pain will last too long once you get going tho



MissConstrue
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20 Aug 2008, 11:45 pm

My first time was very painful and not all that great. There wasn't much of a relationship between us either so I don't know if that had to do with it or what. But after being the idiot I was I lied several times when he asked if I enjoyed it. Finally I admitted that it hurt and without any effort or conversation on his part, he just called me a prude. That's when I stopped romanticizing about the thought of sex with a guy for a while. It really made me feel ashamed of my sexuality and ashamed for having fantasized it in the way I did. I felt like there was something wrong with me for a while.

Later in time, I got better with this problem. So nough said.


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nekowafer
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21 Aug 2008, 2:11 am

It might just be that he's too big for you, and you're tight because you haven't really had sex before. It happens to plenty of other people, and there's a very good possibility that you can get used to having him inside you. Maybe think about getting a few dildos or vibrators to use.. this way you can go at your own speed and get yourself used to it. I still really do suggest going to the gyno just for a general check up. It should be done when you start your period, when you start having sex, then once a year beyond that, along with any time there's something wrong. I'm glad you feel better!



benjimanbreeg
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21 Aug 2008, 5:18 am

MissConstrue wrote:
My first time was very painful and not all that great. There wasn't much of a relationship between us either so I don't know if that had to do with it or what. But after being the idiot I was I lied several times when he asked if I enjoyed it. Finally I admitted that it hurt and without any effort or conversation on his part, he just called me a prude. That's when I stopped romanticizing about the thought of sex with a guy for a while. It really made me feel ashamed of my sexuality and ashamed for having fantasized it in the way I did. I felt like there was something wrong with me for a while.

Later in time, I got better with this problem. So nough said.


you had no reason to be ashamed. And yes, I think its better for the girl, if they are in love with the guy for their first time. That guy just sounds like a jerk.



intense
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21 Aug 2008, 9:26 am

I am sure one of the very best things to try is for you to take control completely, keep trying as it probably won't happen immediately, because you are in the drivers seat as it were it will happen at the pace your most comfortable with that should hopefully help you relax, if that was indeed the problem, I have personal experience of this so I'm not theorising here and it worked, good luck :wink:


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liloleme
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24 Aug 2008, 1:15 pm

I lost my virginity to my first husband and it hurt so bad that I punched him, it felt a bit like I was being torn open. Afterwards I was fine....and he was fine too LOL....but it was painful at first.



benjimanbreeg
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24 Aug 2008, 4:10 pm

liloleme wrote:
I lost my virginity to my first husband and it hurt so bad that I punched him, it felt a bit like I was being torn open. Afterwards I was fine....and he was fine too LOL....but it was painful at first.



:lol: :lol: