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Doomcookie
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: 3 Sep 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 31
Location: South Jersey.

08 Sep 2008, 9:39 pm

You know, maybe what I'm posting is really general, but I feel like I'm going to explode if I hold it in any longer, it hurts too much.

I'm 15 years old, was taken out of public school 1st-8th grade for something I really don't want to say, I was just placed back into normal school last year. I've been really depressed pretty much 24/7 for the past year or so.. but I don't get myself. I've always disliked people, been bitter and preferred to stay inside, but the past year's brought a really painful change in me.

I'd assume it's probably because I'm finally amongst normal people, but it's all just so confusing. I don't particularly care for anyone at my school and try to avoid people as much as possible. I feel terrible being around people and I've got no social skills; going to a school of almost 3000 kids everyday terrifies me.

But like I said, I've changed a lot this past year.. while I do still dislike people, at the same time, I just want to be able to care about someone and be cared about in return. It's on my mind constantly, and I just can't stop thinking about. It distracts me in almost everything I do and even interrupts my dreams.

I just don't know what to do.. are these feelings temporary.. I've got no idea. I hate people, but at the same time.. I look at all these people and the only thing I can think about is "What a loser you are, you're a Sophomore in high school and you've never even remotely had a friend."

I'm sorry if this all sounded really jumbled together, but these thoughts have been in my mind for a long time now.. does anyone-else ever feel depressed for any similar reasons, do I just need to shut up and learn how to talk people?



Keith
Veteran
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Joined: 12 Aug 2008
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,321
Location: East Sussex, UK

08 Sep 2008, 9:50 pm

I'm confused, which is your real age? In your details listed, you are 18. In your post you say you are 15.

This isn't a site where you HAVE to be over 18.

Anyway...
You are are young, and therefore still maturing, many things will be happening to you that will go towards you becoming the adult you will become. You've taken the first step in progression, that's good. Sometimes it helps to listen to people, and sometimes it helps to try and let others know how you feel. Sometimes even this can be a mission in itself. The simple lesson to life is "Life is never easy"



Alb134
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Joined: 6 Sep 2008
Age: 32
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Posts: 8

09 Sep 2008, 12:23 am

I had a similar experience to the one your having. I too hated people and tried to stay away from them as best as I could, but seeing them with friends or boyfriend/girlfriend would always get me down, making me feel like a freak. Later on however, I've started to meet people that would accept me for who I am and a counselor that really understands me, making those sad feelings go away for time to time. :)

As years passed by, I started to see that many of the people at my current school that were acting cool, insulting others, and even cheat on work get punished in some ways that I find very humiliating. :twisted:

However, I've also seen people in my school that would always help out someone in need, something I haven't seen a student do in a long time. :o

Don't feel afraid of the people that are around you at school, they may have some of the same problems you have, some of the same interests that you have, and could be helpful. Observe the activities they usually do, it'll help you know what they enjoy. If you need practice with your social skills, you could practice with your parents or someone that you know very well.

Hope this was helpful.