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Briseis
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02 Oct 2008, 12:51 pm

Has anyone been dx'ed and had thier kids dxed too?

I am dxed and afraid to have my son dxed. He was a late talker, delayed development, and even more symptoms that I had.

I had a terrible time of it- thought I was crazy, etc- depression, eating troubles, everything.

I want to spare my son from this. He is only 8, but I am afraid he will notice that he is different soon. I did not notice till I was about 11. Then I got very depressed and everything went down hill. Perhaps if I had had support early, my life owuld not have become a disaster.

I am conflicted. Do I get him screened and try to help him, but risk social service intervention? Do I leave it all alone and let us just be a weird family?

I wish I had never been screened or dx'ed. I am always afraid of DSS now.

Any info would help. Thank you-
B.



Ishmael
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02 Oct 2008, 1:30 pm

Are social services really that bad in America? I've heard others express the same concerns.
When I first noticed, I suggested aspergers, or "leftover autism" in my nine year old vocabulary, to my parents. Unknown to me - they had already scheduled a diagnosis.
I suggest getting one; sooner or later he'll figure it out, but it's better to know.
Before I knew, I thought the world was against me. After I knew, it turns out the world was against me - but not in a malicious way, rather in a magnetic sense.
It's always better to know.


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DW_a_mom
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02 Oct 2008, 2:32 pm

It's concerns like yours that have caused me to limit my son's diagnosis to the one he received at school. It is enough for him to have services through the school, but isn't official so it cannot taint his record, should such concerns ever arise. We are lucky in that a school use diagnosis is enough to access services in our district; this is not true everywhere.

I think your child should know what AS and is and that you believe he probably has it. A condidtion with gifts and burdens. My son really enjoyed knowing there was an explanation for why he was different, since he certainly had noticed it, and likes knowing that he does things on schedule for "kids like him." And he fully expects to take advantage of his gifts. He is really, really proud of his creative mind.

You don't need a medical diagnosis to tell your child you believe he is AS, and this is what it means, as long as you make it clear that this is your belief, and nothing official.

But if your son needs services or accommodations at school, as most of our kids do, you will need something more.

I personally do not think AS should be a negative with social services, but I also know that the expertise of these departments varies widely, and I can't possibly speak to if your concern is valid locally or not. Perhaps you could ask around and find out? Your worry is that they might take your son away? I can't imagine that happening, but again, things vary, and I can't guarantee anything.


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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


ster
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02 Oct 2008, 4:47 pm

i think for your son's sake, you need to stop pretending that he doesn't have problems. you've admitted that he does, so please get him help ! I know you've had bad experiences regarding dx, but you really need to try to put some of that aside for your son's sake..........my hubby went through his entire life up until the age of 36 not knowing that he was different. not understanding why he couldn't get along with others. not understanding why others didn't see things the same way he did.he was dxed AS only 3 months after our 13 year old son was ! ....please don't let this be your son. he has a right to know what lies ahead for him.
services have changed greatly since my hubby's childhood.please take a chance.....please!



gbollard
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02 Oct 2008, 6:15 pm

Just get the dx for him.

My son was diagnosed first, then I was.

He says - "I've got Aspergers", "I'm special" and "I've got Aspergers like my dad".... It's amazing how much support and confidence it gives him to know that I had similar issues when I was younger and I don't now.



madderakka
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03 Oct 2008, 11:50 pm

Why do you feel that having him screened will get DSS involved? I feel that getting my son dx has been a positive step. We are getting him help in the areas that he needs it. I think that my son's life would be much harder if I ignored the symptoms and expected him to fit in with no explanation.