Autistic Girl Kicked out of Girl Scouts

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Bummer, isn't it? People may not always like you. (The hard part for some folks is understanding that even if others understand you, they still may not like you.)

That's always a hard thing - as a parent of a spectrum kid and as someone on the spectrum I've seen it from both sides. At the risk of sounding particularly harsh, the world on the whole really doesn't give a damn about your "special needs." If you can fit in, you'll fit in. If you cannot, you will not. There will be some adults, and the occasional child, who will be warm and receptive to a child who is "not normal" - but they're few and far between, from my experience. There are a lot more who will play lip-service to the concept because it's socially the PC thing to do, but it's pretty much artificial and cannot be relied upon for any substantial support unless it serves their interests. The older the child, from my experience, the less empathetic reactions you'll encounter.

There are some very artificial settings (schools, for example) where there is a legislative mandate that says they have to "help" you fit in. They get funded to do that. Once there's not a carrot or a stick involved, a special needs kid is pretty much on their own "out there". Hence, my almost constant warning to parents to try to toughen their kids up at least a little. Rejection is real and it will happen, and if a child (any child, "special" or not) hasn't had to deal with it by the time they hit adolescence, the storm they'll then wander into will just shred them. It sucks, but that's life. It's hard enough being spectrum without wandering into that unawares. Prepare your kids. We can debate how "fair" (life? fair? surely you jest!), or "right" or what "ought to be" until we're all old and grey (ok, greyer). And guess what?

Do we know for sure that the first troop was oversized? If so, why was the little girl asked to leave and not someone else?

When I use the phrase "toughen them up", I'm not refering to giving up on life. I'm refering to being able to cope with the same expectations that "normal" people are held to. In this case though, it doesn't work. No matter how much you try and treat a severely disabled person as an "equal", they'll never be able to live without assistance. So telling them to "toughen up, and cope" is cruel.

But if someone is capable of achieving higher education and living independantly, then is it really in their best interest for their parents to constantly shelter them?

"They'll be bullied in regular education, better put them in special ed."
"Higher education and getting a job will be too hard for them, better set them up with welfare."
"Why should I teach them how to cook and do laundry? They'll end up in a group home anyways."

And yes, I HAVE met parents of AS people who are exactly like this. The adults with AS that I've met who didn't have parents like this are able to function. The ones who do have parents like this are not able to function.

When I hear people say things like this, I can't help but think that these are the statements from someone with real world responsibilities envious of those who are sheltered. If someone is sheltered, they can choose to be independent or not. People who never get those options, instead of admitting they would have liked them, instead claim that the people who are treated kindly and get those options didn't have parents who made them have to cope, like they had to. So that those people are missing out on more, or are less functional than the people who's parents just let things happen to their child.

When someone doesn't like having to live in their functional world, and all the pressures, seems they like to take it out on the people who don't have to. Rather than admit it's a life they'd perfer, instead they say something is wrong with the life that the sheltered person leads to make themselves feel better.

I've seen first hand what that kind of attitude can do to a person, okay. My cousin who is mildy physically disabled was sheltered his entire life by his mother, and now that she's dead, he's at the mercy of the state. We try and help him as much as possible, but his future is kind of out of his hands. They've encouraged him to claim mental incompetency. He actually DOESN'T have a choice, as he has no source of working income. So much for that assumption.

Do you think he feels overjoyed at this situation he's in? No friends, no work experience, with the possibility of having to be moved to a group home against his will? It's a scary situation, for anybody. These people with AS who have been raised the same way, what happens when their parents die? They'll probably go through the same thing. Anything to avoid THAT kind of fate is a plus, in my book.