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NocturnalQuilter
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08 Dec 2008, 11:26 pm

Jkid wrote:
School administration did absolutely nothing but "ignore it" for those years because the entire school body (the students) was part of it.


Do you hear that?



The waaaambulance is coming.

Seriously. the whole school was in on your torment?
I don't believe a word of it for a second.



countzarroff
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09 Dec 2008, 1:01 am

I sure got my fair share of it. Most people grow up to realize that bullies are usually losers with a low sense of self esteem. The usually grow up to play sports in high school and drink their way to failure in college.



Jkid
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09 Dec 2008, 1:11 am

NocturnalQuilter wrote:
Jkid wrote:
School administration did absolutely nothing but "ignore it" for those years because the entire school body (the students) was part of it.


Do you hear that?



The waaaambulance is coming.

Seriously. the whole school was in on your torment?
I don't believe a word of it for a second.


OK, let me rephrase that for you. Between the 7th and 9th grades , for three straight years, every 10-30 seconds some idiot student call me either "14" or "pikachu" instead of my name. Have you ever experienced such constant verbal harassment?

I wish I was lying to you.



NocturnalQuilter
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09 Dec 2008, 1:15 am

Jkid wrote:
OK, let me rephrase that, every 10-30 seconds some student call me either "14" or "pikachu". I wish I was lying to you.



Now that is something I can relate to: Every 10 - 30 seconds I was called "f a g" or "f a g g o t" or a littany of other equally belittleing (but possibly true?) names.



BastetsEye
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09 Dec 2008, 10:56 am

For the poster who believes exclusion is not bullying, how would you feel if everytime you sat down people moved seats to get away from you, ignored you and moved away from you when you went to speak to someone. Delibrately didn't pick you for assignments so you had to work with the teacher or sit out. Trust me that is Bullying.

As for whole schools being "In on it" while I can't say for anyone else, but when my mum found out I was being bullied, (after my finally having a nervous breakdown) she called my form tutor, who informed her that it was my own fault as I shouldn't have big breasts!-Needless to say she pulled me out of that school immediately.



neshamaruach
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09 Dec 2008, 12:35 pm

BastetsEye wrote:
For the poster who believes exclusion is not bullying, how would you feel if everytime you sat down people moved seats to get away from you, ignored you and moved away from you when you went to speak to someone. Delibrately didn't pick you for assignments so you had to work with the teacher or sit out. Trust me that is Bullying.


I used to work with an African American guy that this happened to. Everytime he sat down at a table with white folks, all the white folks got up and left him there. He was a very nice guy, with white stepbrothers and stepsisters, and he couldn't believe it was happening.

Exclusion is a form of shunning, and shunning is one of the most psychologically violent things you can do to a human being. Believe me, I've been through it, as have many people on this site.

BastetsEye wrote:
As for whole schools being "In on it" while I can't say for anyone else, but when my mum found out I was being bullied, (after my finally having a nervous breakdown) she called my form tutor, who informed her that it was my own fault as I shouldn't have big breasts!-Needless to say she pulled me out of that school immediately.


And they say *we're* nuts? There ought to be a law against that kind of stupidity.



PrisonerSix
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09 Dec 2008, 12:46 pm

I suffered bullying in multiple schools, but it was never for the same reasons.

In grades 4-5, the school was only concerned with sports and since I was male and not in to sports, I was subjected to alot of harassment, physical and verbal. My parents didn't want to believe it was as bad as it was since my sister, who had been in the school longer than I, didn't have these problems since they didn't treat girls the same way and she was in the marching band, who entertain at sporting events so she was treated better. They only started believing it when other parents who had non-athlete boys in the school told them the same thing, and the fact my sister had some poor teachers who didn't care, did they finally get us out of there.

In grade 6, I was in Catholic school for one year. Some kids picked on me there, mainly because I was new to the school, plus I wasn't Catholic. I was glad to be out of there after one year.

In grade 7, I was in a school full of students who were kicked out of other schools, somewhere I didn't belong for sure. I got picked on because I refused to be a juvenile delinquent in training. I left there after a year too thank goodness.

8th grade was my worst school year ever. I was in public school, and this one student started teasing me because I had a deep voice. Even though this student was a transfer student as well, he was an athlete so of course he was popular and others joined in with him. They often made deep grunting voice sounds whenever I talked, whenever I was around, and they even started calling my house several times a day after I went home. It then mushroomed and more and more students joined in with him. It wasn't the whole school, but it was enough to make my life a living hell. On top of that, my parents blamed me for it and punished me for the whole summer aftewards.

They only started thinking it wasn't my fault when the kid who started it continued to call my house several times a day for almost 6 months after I left that school demanding to talk to me and to know where I was going to school did my parents finally start to think maybe it wasn't my fault after all, since I hadn't spoken to him in all that time.

Grades 9-12 were in a Christian school that was also terrible. For one thing, all of the kids there had gone to either the same churches or group of elementary schools and since I wasn't part of that, I was treated with suspicion. In addition, one of my tormentors, who was part of this religion, turned up there too and got others to join him in picking on me. In addition, I refused to participate in a degrading, humiliating week of hazing called "Freshman Hell Week," so alot of the students even more so than before, thought I wasn't part of that school and didn't belong there. My parents made me stay there, even though there were other schools they could send me to because they didn't believe what I was saying. Only when a sympathetic math teacher told them what that place really was did they start to believe me but by then, I was 1 year from graduating so there wasn't much that could be done anyway.

In addition to school bullying, I was bullied at home by my parents and siblings. One example was the story I posted about how my parents denied me everything I wanted to do and crammed swimming down my throat day in and day out with the hopes I learn to love it, which didn't happen. Also when I was in college as long as my sister was home, I was bullied then as well.

I have faced alot of bullying in my lifetime, many times with no hope of getting out of it, since my parents didn't seem to care or just told me to ignore everything, no other authority figures would do anything and even worse, if I fought back myself, I was in trouble at home for it since my parents insisted if I ignored it, it would go away, but it never did.


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BastetsEye
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09 Dec 2008, 1:34 pm

It's Ironic that that humans as the supposed superior species are the ones that seem to en masse show the most signs of illogic. As least with certain animals if one of their own seems to have a mental problem they kill it immediately. Sometimes I think that would be more compassionate that the treatment that human show towards their own.

I've also been bullied (as a side affect of them bullying my mother) by my religion and sometimes I think thats worse as you expect those who are supposedly religious to be more moral and compassionate. So it comes as more of a shock when it happens. (while my mother and no longer congregate with the religion we still have our faith, it's the people within the religions that are in the wrong not the religions itself, has always been our belief. God/whatever your deity is may be perfect, people aren't!)



NocturnalQuilter
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09 Dec 2008, 4:19 pm

BastetsEye wrote:
For the poster who believes exclusion is not bullying, how would you feel if everytime you sat down people moved seats to get away from you, ignored you and moved away from you when you went to speak to someone. Delibrately didn't pick you for assignments so you had to work with the teacher or sit out. Trust me that is Bullying.


No, it's not. It's called being selective about who you choose to work with, associate with or otherwise engage in activities with. If that is "bullying" then we are all guilty of it.



Jkid
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09 Dec 2008, 4:32 pm

NocturnalQuilter wrote:
Jkid wrote:
OK, let me rephrase that, every 10-30 seconds some student call me either "14" or "pikachu". I wish I was lying to you.



Now that is something I can relate to: Every 10 - 30 seconds I was called "f a g" or "f a g g o t" or a littany of other equally belittleing (but possibly true?) names.



Why did they do that? Did they perceive you as gay male or found out you're a gay male?



NocturnalQuilter
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09 Dec 2008, 4:35 pm

Jkid wrote:
Why did they do that? Did they perceive you as gay male or found out you're a gay male?


Yeah, I was always the quiet, nerdy, artsy kid in school. At recess I jumped rope with the girls rather than play roughly with the boys- that kind of thing. I didn't come out until I was 16 or so.



neshamaruach
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09 Dec 2008, 4:49 pm

NocturnalQuilter wrote:
BastetsEye wrote:
For the poster who believes exclusion is not bullying, how would you feel if everytime you sat down people moved seats to get away from you, ignored you and moved away from you when you went to speak to someone. Delibrately didn't pick you for assignments so you had to work with the teacher or sit out. Trust me that is Bullying.


No, it's not. It's called being selective about who you choose to work with, associate with or otherwise engage in activities with. If that is "bullying" then we are all guilty of it.


One or two people being selective is understandable. Being excluded on a continuous basis by the majority of the people in a social group is called shunning and it is a form of bullying. It's not fun.

I have definitely been selective. I have never been involved in bullying or shunning anyone. In fact, my parents taught me that if someone at school was getting picked on or excluded, I should befriend the person and invite them over. Which I did. My parents did a lot of things that were flat out wrong, but on that one, they got it absolutely right.



Moop
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09 Dec 2008, 4:57 pm

NocturnalQuilter wrote:
Jkid wrote:
OK, let me rephrase that, every 10-30 seconds some student call me either "14" or "pikachu". I wish I was lying to you.



Now that is something I can relate to: Every 10 - 30 seconds I was called "f a g" or "f a g g o t" or a littany of other equally belittleing (but possibly true?) names.


I experienced that throughout all of elementary school.
It made me feel worthless, and everything people said to me felt like an insult.
People would bully me about my gait, posture, speech, behavior, and thinking.

It continued into middle school, but not as bad. I wish I never went to elementary at all. My mom even brought it up with the teachers, and administration of the school, but nothing was ever done. :(


NocturnalQuilter wrote:
Yeah, I was always the quiet, nerdy, artsy kid in school. At recess I jumped rope with the girls rather than play roughly with the boys- that kind of thing. I didn't come out until I was 16 or so.


Same here. I never played sports with the boys. I always jumped rope or played whatever games the boys considered "girly". But I think it's not because I am gay, since I knew a few gay boys who fit in with the rest.



Last edited by Moop on 09 Dec 2008, 4:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

BastetsEye
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09 Dec 2008, 4:58 pm

I have chosen myself not to hang round a person, in those instances I have explained politely that I have other things to do, or pointed out something I have a problem with in regards to them, but again in a polite way so as not to offend. I've at least reconised them before walking away or sitting else where so they have at least been granted that little amount of respect. To en masse get up and change table without a word to the person sitting as to why is bullying. If I don't know why I'm disliked how can I accomodate those who dislike me.



NocturnalQuilter
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09 Dec 2008, 5:08 pm

neshamaruach wrote:
One or two people being selective is understandable. Being excluded on a continuous basis by the majority of the people in a social group is called shunning and it is a form of bullying. It's not fun.


On this we will have to agree NOT to agree.



neshamaruach
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09 Dec 2008, 5:16 pm

NocturnalQuilter wrote:
neshamaruach wrote:
One or two people being selective is understandable. Being excluded on a continuous basis by the majority of the people in a social group is called shunning and it is a form of bullying. It's not fun.


On this we will have to agree NOT to agree.


Fine by me.

(I like your new avatar, by the way. Is it one of your designs?)