Wearing cool clothes.
(I hope that i am not starting a thread on an old subject.) For a long time i have a secret dream about dressing very hot and go out in a public place, and not really care what people think. In stead i use a lot of time and energy to dress in a way that i don't stand out from the crowd. (any one else ?). Well in stead i dress as hot as i dare and go for small walks in remote areas or in the twilight. In fact i manage to build up some confidence until this summer when an negative experience have forced me to start all over again.
My appearance tends to ... stand out. I love bright neon colors and black and dying my hair different colors.
It took awhile to get into that though. In elementary/middle school I simply wore what I thought was comfortable-- "fashion" being the last thing on my mind. I didn't want to stand out. Now, I don't mind it. I'm obsessed with getting new clothes. =]
I don't care what clothes I wear. I wear what I like. I don't care if they are out of style or so teen looking or child looking.
I found out I can change the look of my age by dressing like an adult. If I dress like a teen, I look like a teen. If I dress like an adult, I look like one.
It sounds like you have a fun and normal fantasy.
Only I think that it might be safer to not go for walks in remote areas dressed up hot. You never know who might be around...
If you are dressing up a little hot, then being in a public place where there are people around should be okay, no? And you can always carry an extra layer like a big scarf or sweater and throw that on if you get uncomfortable.
The only time I go alone to remote places is when I'm running and I figure I can run away easily in that case, if someone I don't like approaches me.
lionesss
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Only I think that it might be safer to not go for walks in remote areas dressed up hot. You never know who might be around...
If you are dressing up a little hot, then being in a public place where there are people around should be okay, no? And you can always carry an extra layer like a big scarf or sweater and throw that on if you get uncomfortable.
The only time I go alone to remote places is when I'm running and I figure I can run away easily in that case, if someone I don't like approaches me.
You are absolutely right, but unfortunately my cloth obsession doesn't match my shyness. However i live in a very peaceful place so i do feel safe. However at some point i will dress just a little hot in a public place, and i was about to until i had a little downer this summer.
Most of the time, I wear whatever is clean, and prefer baggy clothes because it's comfortable. My favorite is sweats and t-s. I don't care if I buy some cool pants that say "beautiful" on the butt, as long as they are comfy. In fact, sometimes I've gone grocery shopping in pajama pants just because my sweats were dirty and I wanted to be comfy. I do get attention that way, even though I don't really want it.
In work place scenarios, I usually wear brown and gray and black. I try not to wear too much red because it's a power thing to wear red according to some interview guide thing. Brown and gray are best for blending in. Navy too, but I don't like that color on me. I like black because it's thinning, and you can easily find black pants with a spandex type top which is so much more comfortable to me when the pants can move with me without falling off.
Now when I go to the club, I wear tight black pants that come out a bit at the feet (loose fitting almost bell bottom but not quite that bad). I either wear combat boots (with a good shine) or these boots I have with a pointy toe and high heel. THen I always wear a bright colored shirt that is very revealing or tight. As long as I think I look like a supermodel, I'm cool with it. I love the attention then because I don't go out unless I'm in the mood for some. Lately though I don't feel as pretty. I just don't feel young anymore now that I have kids. It's like my body went from Booyah to Blah. I don't get the attention anymore that I once got.
Hats is something I am always afraid to do. Also the doo rag type thing as well. I'm just warming up to it. I can only do that when I feel brave, or if all my friends are wearing the same type of hat. I do try to think of Denise's character from the Cosby show...she looked good in every strange style she wore. So I figure, it may look a little stupid, but I'm so good looking that I make this look good. Doesn't always work, but that self talk gets me to be a little more brave with style.
Only I think that it might be safer to not go for walks in remote areas dressed up hot. You never know who might be around...
If you are dressing up a little hot, then being in a public place where there are people around should be okay, no? And you can always carry an extra layer like a big scarf or sweater and throw that on if you get uncomfortable.
The only time I go alone to remote places is when I'm running and I figure I can run away easily in that case, if someone I don't like approaches me.
You are absolutely right, but unfortunately my cloth obsession doesn't match my shyness. However i live in a very peaceful place so i do feel safe. However at some point i will dress just a little hot in a public place, and i was about to until i had a little downer this summer.
OK. Sounds good.
I'm less likely to have a totally hot outfit than just have one sexy piece here or there. Like wear a lacy camisole (underwear) top instead of a shirt under a suit, and only have one button of the suit jacket buttoned. It's not really me to wear a totally hot outfit.
i'm the same, i really want to wear clothes that stand out and get attention.... but i haven't got the confidence, and when i do get the attention, i can't deal with it! but i still have a craving for strange and unusual clothes, and often buy stuff i hardly ever get to wear.
here's some ideas that have helped me though. if you know someone else who also likes to wear cool clothes, you can both go out together, that might help increase your confidence. or try going to a place where you won't be the only person wearing unusual clothes, maybe a carnival or fair or something. it's also kind of more socially acceptable to wear stuff that stands out when you're away on holiday.
as for what other people think, i find that people stare at me anyway no matter what i wear, my autism is a bit too obvious. besides, i stare at them! i remember once i was dresssed completely crazy going to a social group, but got stuck in traffic and was desperate for the toilet so had to stop in a very busy rest area. boy did i get some strange looks there!
And i had to take the consequences this summer . I was walking on a forest path wearing tight jeans and high heel boots ( i am 5'11") i was also wearing a shirt and no bra. Then two woman came out from a side track and one of them spun around in her tracks and glared at me she loudly said "I cant believe my eyes". Unfortunately i had to pass them(longest seconds in my life). Another woman who was walking in my path and coming towards me must have heard because she looked at me like she was scared. Many woman would just lough at incidents like that, but i still remember every detail. I have a friend that has walked with me a couple of times but she is so embarrassed, so i avoid asking her. I also prefer to walk alone. My biggest fear is that i should walk in to a group of woman. It's ironic that i fear woman more than men.
I also have a large collection. Between 50 and 100 denim jeans most of the with stretch. I also have around 20 boots.
There's a lot of stereotypes about Aspies and clothing. The main stereotype is that of the hapless geek who wears the geekiest clothing imagineable.
I had this fantasy about being a coveted goth at one point and dressed gothic but I was very insecure about being as a good a goth as the other goths. I used to go to raves. They were like raves at this all night disco. I spent something like, five nights a week there and partied and danced. It was like my second home for a while and I wanted to be accepted by the goths who were there but I never really got that close, just kind of like on the edge because I was too insecure to try to get closer. Even when certain ones tried to flirt with me and stuff I acted all mortified and just wanted to run away and disappear into the crowd on the dance floor. I had two friends I clung to and didn't want to do much branching out. I guess I was really insecure.
So, at that point I had the holey black clothing and the make up and the hair etc. to try and impress the goths.
It was weird because even though I wanted to be accepted by them, at the same time I was afraid of them.
I love wearing "lounge" clothes... Anything insanly somfortable to just rest the whole day in... If I have to do something, screw the lounging clothes, its stuff that won't cause me to get too hot... or too cold.
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