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buryuntime
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27 Dec 2008, 12:11 am

Today I was at Hot Topic with my mother. I had some merchandise in my hands and was browsing the store while my mother was holding a place in line for me (the line almost went out of the store). So, the place was packed. Anyway, an employee approached me and asked me if they could hold the items at the register for me while I continued to look around the store. I said "No, it's okay" considering I was only holding one thing-- a bottle of nailpolish. The employee then takes it from me without asking and quickly walks off saying something about being afraid the item could break, which was a completely ridiculous thing to worry about.

I was confused so I went and told my mother, who told me the lady thought I was trying to steal the nailpolish. Later she explained to me that when I'm in public I always have my head down and avoid eye contact, look nervous, stick to areas where people weren't around etc. making me look sort of suspicious. I never realized this before. She said it was very easy to lose sight of me especially because of this, also.

So I was wondering-- has anyone else had similar experiences? Or have been seen as suspicious be police when innocent because of this?



ephyk
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27 Dec 2008, 12:26 am

I cannot take my hands out of my pockets and don't like eye contact. I've been told that it looks suspicious.

With the way stores are crowded this time of year, the employees are trained to act exactly as that clerk did. Hot Topic has a lot of small items that can easily be walked off with.



hartzofspace
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27 Dec 2008, 12:34 am

Yes. I have actually avoided certain smaller stores, because if I am having a stressful day, I will be even more likely to avoid eye contact, stand and stare at something a long time (which grounds me) or keep ducking down empty aisles to avoid people. That must look suspicious.


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pensieve
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27 Dec 2008, 12:46 am

buryuntime wrote:
Later she explained to me that when I'm in public I always have my head down and avoid eye contact, look nervous, stick to areas where people weren't around etc. making me look sort of suspicious. I never realized this before.

My mum said the same thing about me too. These days I try to look people in the eye so I look less suspicious.



27 Dec 2008, 1:05 am

When I was 17 I went looking in second hand stores on a Friday after school. I wanted to see if any of them had Benny & Joon, so I am in this store looking at VHS tapes and then I leave and I look in another store and they didn't have the movie so I go to the supermarket to see if they had the movie on sale but they didn't so I left. As I was waiting in the street (which I thought was the parking lot because it does look like one) and this police car comes and they tell me to back up, so I do and they arrest me saying I took a video tape. These were volunteer officers so they had no training.

I don't know what I did in the store that made the owner think I took a tape. My mother never found out for me because they wouldn't show her the video tape that caught me on camera. My parents were furious with the owner about what happened. I think they let it go after they saw it didn't effect me in high school because everyone believed me and they all thought the store owner was stupid. But they still liked teasing me about it and bringing it up and it took a few weeks for it to die down. Then it was like it never happened.


PS I have cashiers looking at me as I look around but I figure they do that to all customers. Only time they don't is if the store is packed, they are too busy with the other customers, they don't have time to watch me.



Bea
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27 Dec 2008, 1:08 am

Quote:
more likely to avoid eye contact, stand and stare at something a long time (which grounds me) or keep ducking down empty aisles to avoid people


That sounds sooo familiar. I also talk to myself a lot, giving myself directions (OK, now I need to find the parsley, what aisle is that in, ooooh Raisin Bran, i think we're out of that.) People give me weird looks. Thank heavens for online shopping.



mosez
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27 Dec 2008, 2:00 am

hartzofspace wrote:
Yes. I have actually avoided certain smaller stores, because if I am having a stressful day, I will be even more likely to avoid eye contact, stand and stare at something a long time (which grounds me) or keep ducking down empty aisles to avoid people. That must look suspicious.


Sounds like me, I can't stop for shopping after work, or if I do it's exactly what you describe. Especial the emty staring in the shelves, what I'm looking for is usually right in front of me, believe I must look stupid. But I have never been accused for stealing or even for trying. I can't quite understand what makes people steal items and stuff worth a few pennies, never did. I can understand if it's something real big. If I ever should become a crook it would have to be big. Embarrising to be nicked for a candybar, got to have style.


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hartzofspace
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27 Dec 2008, 4:00 am

Bea wrote:
Quote:
more likely to avoid eye contact, stand and stare at something a long time (which grounds me) or keep ducking down empty aisles to avoid people


That sounds sooo familiar. I also talk to myself a lot, giving myself directions (OK, now I need to find the parsley, what aisle is that in, ooooh Raisin Bran, i think we're out of that.) People give me weird looks. Thank heavens for online shopping.


Yeah, I talk to myself; rather, I mutter to myself a lot when shopping. It serves to keep me focused. People around me are awfully distracting, especially when they stop short and start chatting on a cell phone! :x


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hartzofspace
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27 Dec 2008, 4:04 am

mosez wrote:
hartzofspace wrote:
Yes. I have actually avoided certain smaller stores, because if I am having a stressful day, I will be even more likely to avoid eye contact, stand and stare at something a long time (which grounds me) or keep ducking down empty aisles to avoid people. That must look suspicious.


Sounds like me, I can't stop for shopping after work, or if I do it's exactly what you describe. Especial the emty staring in the shelves, what I'm looking for is usually right in front of me, believe I must look stupid. But I have never been accused for stealing or even for trying. I can't quite understand what makes people steal items and stuff worth a few pennies, never did. I can understand if it's something real big. If I ever should become a crook it would have to be big. Embarrising to be nicked for a candybar, got to have style.


I find it hard to see what's right in front of me, because I am also monitoring the movements of people and carts all around me. I dread getting bumped into or being pressed into random social inanities.

As for stealing, QFT. I never understood why people do that, either.


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27 Dec 2008, 7:49 am

buryuntime,

You are NOT alone! They have done the SAME with me. It IS funny about how they suspect people that go around the store, and are out of place, emotionally. Most that I have known that have robbed have been quick and/or inobvious. BTW I have NEVER stolen ANYTHING! I was accused of stealing a couple things, like a book that I even showed the guard BEFORE I entered the store! I was, as a kid, followed around a store at least twice. I once put a product on layaway at such a store. I should have just not bothered.

TODAY, I can't even make some comparisons, etc... because they lock stuff up, afraid someone will steal it. We are in the 21st century. There are SO many ways to avoid this. I wonder when they will start using THEM!



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27 Dec 2008, 7:54 am

Even when I was an older kid up until my diagnosis when I was not aware that other people behaved in a certain way, shop security sometimes sometimes made a habit of either watching me or following me even.

It was scary.


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miserylovescompany
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27 Dec 2008, 8:49 am

I often get followed in stores even though I don't 'slouch' about or avoid looking people in the eye. I suspect it's because I'm rather short and look like a teenager, one of the more suspect ages for shoplifters. I find it helps when entering a store not to have a coat over your arm and ALWAYS take a basket, even if you don't intend to buy. The basket gives them the idea that if you do want something, you intend to pay for it.
I hate shoplifters as much as most of you probably do though, and I do have a lot of sympathy for the store staff who are facing a constant battle against them, so if that means someone asking me if I'm going to buy something, then so be it if it stops the next person stealing it.



AnnaLemma
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27 Dec 2008, 10:19 am

2ukenkerl wrote:
buryuntime,
TODAY, I can't even make some comparisons, etc... because they lock stuff up, afraid someone will steal it. We are in the 21st century. There are SO many ways to avoid this. I wonder when they will start using THEM!


This is a problem, all right. I can't even check the ingredients or instructions on the label of many items for this reason--they're locked up or the rfid is right over the label. On the rare occasions when I shop for clothes in person, I usually want to match or coordinate colors and hate when they rip the items out of my hands and hustle them off to the register. And brick-and-mortars wonder why folks prefer to shop on-line...

I never considered that my posture might be suspicious. Perhaps it is--I'm not nervous, but am deeply focused, usually ignoring the insincere "Are you finding everything ok?" every two minutes and trying to get away from the commission-driven clerk following me around.


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27 Dec 2008, 10:59 am

I always get frisked in airports, and they often ask to check my baggage, too. I must just look suspicious. I never set the alarm off or anything, and no one else seems to get pulled aside. It's always just me.


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27 Dec 2008, 1:58 pm

I'd be livid if that happened to me, it was wrong for them to grab it from you.



Fiz
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27 Dec 2008, 2:03 pm

I'd be like, 'oh I'm sorry, I didn't realise that being autistic made you more likely to steal. It doesn't say that anywhere in the diagnostic criteria. Anyway, I thought that was related to Kleptomaniacs.....'


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