Asperger's, moral conservatism, swearing and dirty jokes

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marshall
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31 Dec 2008, 7:12 pm

I think people have this first impression of me as some kind of wise Yoda-esque character. Probably because I’m gentle and soft spoken and don’t participate in a lot of banter. I’m also not verbally spontaneous and tend to choose my words carefully and deliberately. People that I open up to are always extremely surprised the first time they hear me say something crude or dirty.



happypuff
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31 Dec 2008, 10:24 pm

I especially hate it when in addition to this, people suddenly pay attention to the fact *you* swore, because you're not supposed to be doing that.
It used to set me off on an angry rant about why are you allowed to swear and no one notices, but when I do it 2 minutes later you're all '=o you don't swear'. Especially when I'm not conservative at all.
These days when someone gives me that reaction, I just throw all the 'worst' words together in a sentence as a joke to get them not to comment on it in the future and to make them look silly for suggesting such a concept that I don't swear :)



Amicitia
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01 Jan 2009, 4:49 pm

I don't curse and I rarely tell dirty jokes. I know the words; I just choose not to use them. Because I agree with this:

nothingunusual wrote:
Inserting a curse word into every sentence suggests that the person has a narrow vocabulary.


And I think I can do better. Although I had a professor who said he would actually encourage his children to use curse words, on the grounds that it's a way of expressing yourself, and the more ways you have of expressing yourself, the better.



Spiral_Architect
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01 Jan 2009, 8:35 pm

I'm glad someone brought this up. This is something that has been bothering me for years. The way I understand, young people are supposed to be at least a little bit rebellious. I was in sixth grade when I heard my first dirty joke. In middle school kids would tell off-color jokes and curse all the time. I knew the teachers wouldn't like it but I thought the other kids wouldn't mind. Many times when I cursed they would act as if I were a naughty little kid and they were my parents. "Ooooh, Spiral_Architect said a bad word! You shouldn't talk like that. Other people will get upset." It seems like they were doing this in a joking sort of way.

This made me frustrated. Authority figures (parents, teachers etc.) are supposed to get upset when you curse, but not your peers. After all, they curse too. I was so shy that I never confronted the other kids about why they had this double standard about swearing. In my head I would always wonder, "How come they can curse all the time but they criticize me when I do it? What a bunch of hypocrites!" I guess I must have had the same innocent vibe that other people on this board talk about. I was shy and soft-spoken, and might have made it more shocking when I swore.



NocturnalQuilter
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01 Jan 2009, 8:41 pm

I swear like a sailor and pretty much always have. I have little care for my surroundings and often get the "evil eye" from parents of children within earshot of my potty mouth.
I figure, we're all adults. If someone finds something I say offensive then they can go f ck themselves. It's a big world, they can go stand somewhere else.



Ah_Q
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01 Jan 2009, 10:32 pm

Yes, people do this to me all the time. It's the "eternal child" I think. It was different when I was a freight handler. Absolutely everyone talked like sailors all the time and no one apologised to anyone for it, ever.


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2ukenkerl
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01 Jan 2009, 11:19 pm

mitharatowen wrote:
That is so funny, people do that too me too. Not sarcastically but genuinely (i think). They will swear, then look quickly at me and say sorry. People who don't even know me do this. I find it strange. I wonder what kind of vibe I give off that tells them to do this?


Decent people used to do that with ALL females. Females at least WERE expected to have some morality that males didn't want to taint. That is why mister deeds didn't have that fight scene until his date said she wouldn't mind, and why mick decked that guy for saying "bloody" when the lady reporter was there.

Having said that, at least people that know me tend to do the same, and I am MALE. In one english class, everyone GASPED when they heard me say shoot! They thought I said something else. I never told them that I didn't like cussing. Even one coworker said just yesterday("to quote you, 'shoot'"). She would probably have used a harsher word!

NocturnalQuilter,

It is ODD that you should say "I figure, we're all adults", and then talk like some spoiled brat. How does that sound adult? Or do you mean "adult" as in the new meaning like porn?



NocturnalQuilter
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01 Jan 2009, 11:35 pm

2ukenkerl wrote:
NocturnalQuilter,

It is ODD that you should say "I figure, we're all adults", and then talk like some spoiled brat. How does that sound adult? Or do you mean "adult" as in the new meaning like porn?


:roll:
It means whatever you'd like it to, sweetpea.



poopylungstuffing
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02 Jan 2009, 12:47 am

There is a certain mood I will get into where I will start cursing repetatively.

But people who don't know me very well are often afraid to curse around me, and one time, a lady at Flakey's parent's bar, um...asked me to say a swear word because she could not fathom any such thing being uttered from my sweet little mouth...It felt rather patronizing and I had to explain to her that I curse as much as anyone else.... :?



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02 Jan 2009, 12:43 pm

Willard wrote:
The Aristocrats!

"What?! ! And give up show business?"

That joke has been around since the Revolutionary war.


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orngjce223
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02 Jan 2009, 2:35 pm

Morally I'm all over the place, but in this case I believe swearing should be reserved for those "truly special occasions", like pulling at one can in the supermarket display and having the entire thing fall down on you. :lol: Not for "little things".

That said, where everyone else stores their swearwords, I store a very loud yelp. So I suppose I fit the appearances.

And, @NQ, some people actually do get offended at swearwords themselves, and some people don't want to hear their children saying "s***" without understanding.


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AceOfSpades
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02 Jan 2009, 3:18 pm

I swear all the time and don't see what the big deal is. As for dirty jokes, it depends on whether they're funny or not.



ngonz
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02 Jan 2009, 3:42 pm

Yes, yes, yes!! to the OP's question. My husband really has a visible naivete about him. People stop swearing around him. I can't put my finger on what it is about him that people detect---what it is exactly that he does. I do think that his face is more open--his expression is open--something about his eyes, I think. It was this innocence that attracted me to him in the first place. He is not hiding who he is. What you see is what you get---but what is it that I am seeing??? I don't quite get it myself, but I know it is there.


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pakled
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02 Jan 2009, 10:47 pm

I get that a little. Around the house, it sounds like the Sopranos...;) Everyone but me seems to use profanity as punctuation, rather than communication. By not swearing until it's appropriate, I shock some people...;)

"Anyone heard any dirty jokes lately?" - PeeWee Herman...;)



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02 Jan 2009, 11:12 pm

People just for some strange reason would think traits like not liking parties or being very social relate to being a puritan/munk/priest-wannabee . J


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02 Jan 2009, 11:32 pm

Rain_Bird wrote:
People (who don't know me that well) have done that to me before, which is ironic, since I'm one of the most foul-mouthed, perverted people I know. lol


I second that