Asperger's, moral conservatism, swearing and dirty jokes

Page 1 of 3 [ 36 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Keeno
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2006
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,875
Location: Earth

31 Dec 2008, 1:29 pm

Something I've noticed lately when I'm around people is often, someone will swear. Then - and this is kinda related to all the threads we've had lately about sarcasm - they realise I am there and apologise. In a sarcastic way, or one that is simply intended to create humour.

Or, as happened today at work, they are thinking of making a dirty joke. As I was present, he chose not to saying he "wouldn't go there" because he "didn't want to blight my mind".

This is probably happening because I must give off a demure, "proper", morally conservative vibe.

Or maybe not, or it's just one of a combination of factors, since there are many other people who are just as, if not more conservative morally as I am who are never heard swearing etc. and don't seem to have this sort of stuff done to them. The other factors being, I suspect these things wouldn't be happening if I wasn't as Aspergy as I am. Possibly one factor is social distance - if I didn't seem as Aspergy and so was able to bond more, they might feel able to go ahead and make dirty jokes etc.

Another possible factor is, again with being so Aspergy, I might seem childlike to them. Again that's with social development in mind. They might think, "he's not socially mature for this so I won't swear or tell this joke".

Does anyone else have the same sort of experiences I've described having?



nothingunusual
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 May 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 511
Location: Belfast, Ireland.

31 Dec 2008, 1:41 pm

I don't like crude jokes, simply because I don't see what's so funny about them, rather than any moral reason. I think people find them humorous because they're socially taboo and deemed inappropriate - So maybe that's where my AS plays a part there too.

I haven't got a big issue with swearing. I do an awful lot of it when I'm in a bad mood or one my soapbox about something or other. I don't like people who over-do it though. Inserting a curse word into every sentence suggests that the person has a narrow vocabulary. It also comes across as aggressive to me and makes me uncomfortable.


_________________
For time has imprisoned us,
In the order of our years,
In the discipline of our ways,
And in the passing of momentary stillness.
We can see our chaos in motion.


mitharatowen
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,675
Location: Arizona

31 Dec 2008, 1:51 pm

That is so funny, people do that too me too. Not sarcastically but genuinely (i think). They will swear, then look quickly at me and say sorry. People who don't even know me do this. I find it strange. I wonder what kind of vibe I give off that tells them to do this?



zghost
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,190
Location: Southeast Texas

31 Dec 2008, 2:03 pm

I thinkit's social upbringing, especially with older men. One place I worked, most of the guys would try not to swear around me, even though they all knew I swear worse than they did. Also, they wouldn't want to tell me the joke that was circulating, if it was "dirty". Fortunately, I had a couple people there who I could just go ask, they'd tell me.
I just wanted to be in on the humor of the day.



Persephone
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 10 Oct 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 12
Location: Often Mostly in My Mind

31 Dec 2008, 2:46 pm

Yes! This happens to me with swearing, bawdy jokes, and general lewdness. I either get an apology (often sincere if, as zghost noted, coming from an older male) or a guilty look, as if my (apparently perceived) demureness, ladylikeness, or childlikeness has been compromised. If there have been sarcastic apologies, which I'm sure there have, they've gone over my head.

I've also gotten quite a lot of shocked reactions about my smoking, mostly back when I did smoke but some even now. "You, a smoker???" they'd say, as if I'd just suddenly announced that I was from outer space. "But you don't seem at all like the type!"

Eventually I got somewhat fed up with this and started asking *why* they had thought this, and with such conviction. Often the answer (if there was one beyond "not the type") ran along the lines of my being too proper, or "pure," or conservative, etc., etc.

*edited to add* No one ever said that I seemed too health-conscious or athletic (ha - as if!) to be a smoker.


_________________
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." -Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

***

NLD undiagnosed but fits like a glove.


Last edited by Persephone on 04 Jan 2009, 12:52 pm, edited 2 times in total.

millie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Oct 2008
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,154

31 Dec 2008, 3:13 pm

well...i am the swearer.

however, people apologise to me for bawdy and sexually crude jokes.



Rain_Bird
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 18 Mar 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 347

31 Dec 2008, 3:23 pm

People (who don't know me that well) have done that to me before, which is ironic, since I'm one of the most foul-mouthed, perverted people I know. lol



31 Dec 2008, 3:28 pm

No one apologizes to me. :evil: I feel left out.



Sora
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,906
Location: Europe

31 Dec 2008, 3:31 pm

I have a dirty mouth in remission. But at my worst times, strangers and friends alike would be cross that I 'of all people' would swear so much. As if I shouldn't swear...

Also, when I got to know my friends and we didn't know each other well yet, they would continuously claim that I was 'innocent like an angel'

But only until they got to know me. Now they know that I am rivalling the night in blackness in certain aspects.

However, the general idea about me that strangers and acquaintances have is that I am a person who is too innocent and morale to swear, behave typical for my age or be otherwise immoral.

People go like 'aww, sorry, I know this isn't what you do'. It never creases to amaze me.

I have no idea where people get that from though. I am not pretending to be someone who I am not.

Do I look that innocent? Because I think not.


_________________
Autism + ADHD
______
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett


Willard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,647

31 Dec 2008, 4:37 pm

The Aristocrats!



Willard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,647

31 Dec 2008, 4:38 pm

Just kidding. Sorry if that offended anyone.



Alisscious
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2008
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 148

31 Dec 2008, 5:30 pm

I think that look is forever imprinted on our faces. I think that is an aspie trait.

On the other hand. Everyone new to now me, catches up quickly with people who have known me for a week or more.

They say, all half in awe/ half in mock niceness, she always goes there. Then I inform them, I can't help it, one of my neural pathways goes right through that part of my brain. Yes it is all very corny, until they see the intelligent side, then they step back and start to think.

Edit, too funny, I just talked to one of my friends, and she was all, yeah, you just went there. I informed her, that she and everyone else was projecting. They are all the naughty little boys and girls, I just read what they say, and verbalize it. HA!



ManErg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2006
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,090
Location: No Mans Land

31 Dec 2008, 6:13 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:
No one apologizes to me. :evil: I feel left out.


I'm so sorry. Let's hope that doesn't happen any more to you :)


_________________
Circular logic is correct because it is.


outlier
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,429

31 Dec 2008, 6:15 pm

Yes, all my life!

They express concern about anyone using bad language in my presence, saying I must not be corrupted. I think I must have a very innocent presence. Some have even told me they could never imagine me having sex. They are nearly always very patronizing.

They also tease about how they are morally/intellectually/socially inferior in comparison. Even one manager where I used to work! It must be something to do with calm, innocent, quiet body language.



buryuntime
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Dec 2008
Age: 86
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,662

31 Dec 2008, 6:43 pm

When I was younger, yes! I think it was mostly due to the fact that I had a hard time understanding jokes of that nature, however. People still do that with cursing, too, but I always thought it was because I look younger than I actually am.



marshall
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,752
Location: Turkey

31 Dec 2008, 7:12 pm

I think people have this first impression of me as some kind of wise Yoda-esque character. Probably because I’m gentle and soft spoken and don’t participate in a lot of banter. I’m also not verbally spontaneous and tend to choose my words carefully and deliberately. People that I open up to are always extremely surprised the first time they hear me say something crude or dirty.