will it hurt?

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Hey ladies,

I'm 17 and am soon going to lose my virginity to the love of my life. I was wondering though, will it hurt?
I've heard stories that its agonising, is it really that bad?

Any advice would be much appreciated, thanks

I've heard it does, but for some people it doesn't. It helps if you have got used to using super absorbency tampons and that. But I dunno for sure, no first-hand experience.

Yes, probably. Using tampons sure couldn't hurt but they're nowhere as big as a man.
It helps if you're very turned on before you get down to business, then you'll be 'opened up' as much as possible and lubricated.

But it will still probably hurt (it might not, though). So take your time and make sure your man is gentle and understanding

Remembering it makes me sort of nauseous. I bled everywhere. I advocate toy sex, so I would recommend getting a silicone dildo and doing it with that before actually doing it with a penis. Your boyfriend and you can experience a lot of intimacy with toys. I think kids should do that before they take the plunge together. If you get enough experience with a toy, your first time won't hurt and no doubt, there will be less chance of trauma.

Hm, I'm curious. Why wouldn't a dildo hurt as much as a penis the first time?
They're about the same size right?

It all has to do with how "ready" you are. Your body makes it's own lubrication and all, but stress, nervousness and depending on where you are in your cycle will make you more/less moist.

Just make sure you don't just jump into it and as long as everything is ... slippery... it shouldn't hurt, just take it really slow and if it feels like something is causing friction you aren't quite ready and you need more lubrication. You need to be relaxed and ready, if you are nervous it's going to affect things negatively. You can buy lubrication at the local drug store, (normally right beside the condoms) or at your local Wal-mart. If you feel any friction at all you need something, either some bought stuff, or a little more "turning on".

I guess it depends on hymen? spelling here? issues as well, you may or maynot have one so no clue there, so as long as it's slow and gentle there shouldn't really be issues.

I'd like to add that the first 'toy' that I ever f****d myself with was a cucumber. I had already lost my virginity, and wish now that I had participated in a lot more foreplay and toy play beforehand.

hmm, thanks for your input I'm understandably nervous about it all, I guess I'll just have to wait and see

Well, let me give you a couple of tips. TMI ALERT! Don't read if you don't want specific details. I always appreciate specific details about what to expect in any strange situation, so I am going to give you some to help you out.



The first couple of times I did it, I found that it was easier 'doggy-style.' Especially if the guy is inexperienced too. The angle has a lot to do with things and if the angle is wrong it can hurt more. It's alot easier to get a straight angle via doggy. I've also heard 'girl on top' is good for virgins but I don't care much for it personally because it's awkward and takes a lot of thigh strength.

Second, be prepared for some pain and don't be surprised if you bleed quite a bit. It's normal and everyone has gone through it. It will hurt for the first few times that you do it but eventually you will get used to it.

Also something that happened to me when I first did it - for the next few days I felt like I had a giant hole in my body down there. Since it was now bigger than it used to be and I was not used to it. So if you get that feeling, don't worry, that too will go away with time.

Most of all, relax and enjoy yourself. It's almost guranteed not be the great sex you've always imagined but it will definately get better the more you do it. So try not to put too much pressure on yourself.

And of course, practice makes perfect! So don't give up

P.S. Be safe and use protection, k?

Hymens piss me off. What purpose do they serve? Sometimes I wonder if being female isn't due to some huge, cosmic plan to make things as difficult as possible for us.

My advice is to make sure you have clitoral stimulation, both before and during intercourse. You can use a vibrator on yourself while he is inside of you. If you can maintain sexual arousal, you won't feel as much pain. Also, make sure you engage in lots and lots of foreplay, to the point of having at least one orgasm. You might want to make sure he also has an orgasm before intercourse, too. This will give him more control over his trusting, as men sometimes orgasm very quickly after their initial arousal.

Above all, take it slow.

If you are not planning on becoming pregnant, please remember that not being able to become pregnant on your fist time is a myth so use protection.