How to tell when someone isn't interested what you are....

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06 Feb 2009, 6:58 pm

talking about.


If someone isn't asking your any questions about what you are talking about and not saying anything really and all they are saying is "uh huh" "okay" "Oh." Then they are not really interested what you are talking about and they are just being nice by listening to what you are saying. It just dawned on me.

But another thing is what if they have nothing to say or they don't know what to say? Doesn't mean they aren't interested.



benjimanbreeg
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06 Feb 2009, 7:04 pm

If its an aspie your talking to, and they aren't interested in your chosen subject, don't expect much back :wink:


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06 Feb 2009, 7:18 pm

NTs do that too.


I can do this test by start going around talking about Benny & Joon and I bet people will not say much about it. Shall I assume they're aspies? Nah.



benjimanbreeg
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06 Feb 2009, 7:21 pm

No, well just assume they aren't interested. Its too much a detailed thing to be obsessed about. If it was like soccer/football, bacon, coffee. You'd get more responses.


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Brunny
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06 Feb 2009, 7:28 pm

Who are Benny and Joon?



06 Feb 2009, 9:06 pm

It's a MGM movie.



Hector
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06 Feb 2009, 9:14 pm

This is all sort of difficult if the person you're talking to is not a good communicator. But in general I find that when I'm talking to someone face-to-face, if they're looking away from me they're interested in being somewhere else. So watch out for that cue alongside the other ones.

If you think someone might not be interested, make sure by asking them a question that may vaguely relate to what you're saying. If they are actually interested they may keep the conversation on track, if not they can still change the subject by talking about themselves.

Also, it might just be worth noting in general whether the other person might be interested in what you're talking about. If they're not feeling happy or well they may not be very receptive. If they don't watch TV they may not be interested in discussions about TV shows.



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06 Feb 2009, 9:29 pm

There's several signs...

the first is MEGO (or My eyes glaze over); they lose concentration and focus, sort of like people watching a Powerpoint presentation...;)

Second are interruptions. Usually these are using 'termination phrases', things like "uh, yeah, that's nice', "Look at the time', "I gotta go', and others. If they start gazing at other things than you, that's another.

If that's what you're talking about.



dimitri
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01 Mar 2009, 2:07 pm

If someone isn't asking your any questions about what you are talking about and not saying anything really and all they are saying is "uh huh" "okay" "Oh."Then they are not really interested what you are talking about and they are just being nice by listening to what you are saying.

Not quite. It could mean 2 things . When do that they are being polite. One, they do not want to talk about the ("boring") topic ; they hope that you realize this and change the subject. Or two they don't understand why you're telling them these things. If you keep talking about (whatever) they'll start to get annoyed.



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01 Mar 2009, 2:41 pm

Actively stopping the conversation - taking a phone call, Making a phone call, leaving, etc
Changing the subject - sounds obvious but NTs have sophisticated ways of doing it.
Asking closed questions - they couldn't give a flying f**k what you're on about but are too polite (i.e. don't have the backbone) to stop you, so they ask you uninspired questions that invite yes or no answers.
Change in body language - a complex issue for us Aspies but keep observing patterns of body language and one day it will make sense.


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