How do I learn to verbally intimidate people?



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Mw99
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Sat Feb 14, 2009 3:01 pm

Suppose that you obtain a black belt in karate: you could use your fighting skills to beat up innocent people, or you could use them to defend yourself the next time someone tries to hurt you.

I want to learn "verbal intimidation" because I want to be able to defend myself, verbally, the next time someone gives me a hard time or tries to publicly humiliate me.

Right now, I just can't do it. I am not one of those people who get really angry, shout a few clever words, and make their aggressors tremble in fear of social humiliation.

Is there such thing as "verbal intimidation" courses or perhaps some book written on the subject?



-Vorzac-
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Sat Feb 14, 2009 3:10 pm

intimidation is not about what you say, it's about presence.

I have been told that I intimidate people, yet I rarely in real life say anything insulting or intimidating to someone.

I can, and have had panic attacks in public, and not have anyone notice my distress, because I scowl and stalk about like I hate the world and everything in it, even when I feel vunerable. however, when I open my mouth, it all falls down, showign that 'verbal' intimidation does not really work.

Learn a bit about psychology, and body language. these things will help you.



MissConstrue
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Sat Feb 14, 2009 3:13 pm

Just check out chat rooms, they're full of them....

I see your view but I'm not so big on the idea of verbally intimidating someone. It's just another form of bullying. Maybe comebacks but verbal intimidation could get you in a lot of trouble depending. Besides, I don't think you're going to necessarily win or defend your argument....only intimidating which is just what some bullies want anyway.

But I've seen plenty of sites out there for that kind of stuff depending on the kind of responses you want from that "bully". I'm sure there's plenty of books out there, just google them.


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MegaAndy
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Sat Feb 14, 2009 3:19 pm

GET IN THERE FACE AND PUT A GRR FACE ON
that should do it :lol:



pakled
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Sat Feb 14, 2009 3:32 pm

Dale Carnegie? I dunno...I read it once. Some useful stuff...but maybe 'verbal jiujitsu' would be more in order. Allow someone to make an a** of themselves, then go for the kill..;)



slowmutant
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Sat Feb 14, 2009 3:39 pm

Watch House M.D.



Dokken
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Sat Feb 14, 2009 3:41 pm

It maybe better if you let people believe you're a complete nutjob. People tend not to be to abusive towards people that they believe are off their rocker. Just strt saying crazy stuff to people


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slowmutant
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Sat Feb 14, 2009 3:52 pm

House MD is the Chuck Norris of verbal combat. :P



irene
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Sat Feb 14, 2009 4:01 pm

I have been told for years that I intimitate people. Nothing was done deliberately, but I do manage to make them feel as though they are stupid. From what I understand about the situation is that somebody would say something that I don't understand, and then I would repeat back to them what they just said in a way that make sense to me. You see alot of people use double negatives more than once which gets kind of confusing.

I think that it also could be that someone makes a statement in a socially acceptable manner, another words "beating around the bush" and I would repeat it in a more direct manner. That usually gets a huff out of them.

Another way of dealing with these kind of situations is to NOT LET ANYONE PUSH YOUR BUTTONS. If someone says something to you that you don't like totally ignore them. Try your best not to let it show on your face. So far with me it's been working with someone at my job. But he's rather stupid and likes to try to cover it up by being a wise ass. Just remember there are alot of people out there who are so bored that they find their enjoyment in getting others upset. It is not worth you getting all upset just to get the last word in, let the other person to do it. Frequently if you don't say anything at all when they start this kind of bull shit they will feel pretty stupid. Just walk away. Who cares what they say. I hope you don't.

Good luck.

irene

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Greentea
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Sat Feb 14, 2009 4:12 pm

I discovered (by chance) the art of destroying people with my words. Actually, I have to be very careful to use it sparingly, because when I'm angry, I can destroy a person in a second with my words. And I never raise my voice nor curse nor say mean words. I just use the only weapon that people are never able to survive when attacked with it: TRUTH. People react to truth like a bat to light. They run for cover, and if they couldn't run, they'd be destroyed.

Example from a workshop I participated in:

Me: (spacing out, out there in my own thoughts during the break stupid smalltalk)
Other participant: (upon seeing me apart, not joining the smalltalk). Hey, are you normal?
Me: (in a tone like talking sympathetically to a toddler that just peed herself in her pants) Mmmmm....I see norms are important to you, aren't they, sweet baby?
She: (abruptly turns around and leaves running, never to dare disturb me again during the rest of the workshop).

Mw, you can do it too, because you can be very poignant and sarcastic when you want to. Just take into account that TRUTH really destroys people, so don't use it unless totally necessary. This woman had been abusing me for a few workshop sessions already and I was having the worst time of my life in my personal life, wasn't strong enough to endure her abuse in silence and that's why I did it. I don't do it if a person just bothers me once or twice and I can deal with it with less mortal weapons.


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slowmutant
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Sat Feb 14, 2009 4:18 pm

The truth shall set you free.

Has anyone ever confronted you with the truth?



slowmutant
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Sat Feb 14, 2009 4:19 pm

An alienated person will alienate himself even more as a method of avoiding pain & humiliation. Don't get too proud of yourself here.



Greentea
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Sat Feb 14, 2009 4:24 pm

People in public places are terribly afraid of someone who's not bound by social constraints. So when a stranger starts trying to bully me in a public place, which happens several times each day because I'm always alone and I'm a small, middle-aged woman, I give them the bird or call them IDIOT! The intention is NOT to curse them, but to show (rather than tell, because showing is more effective with NTs than telling with words) that I'm dangerous because I don't bind myself by social constraints. A small, middle-aged lady giving the bird or yelling "IDIOT' in public is automatically seen as someone who is not bound by ANY social constraints, and therefore better stay away from her.

Another thing that intimidates people into stopping the bullying / controlling behaviors in public is exposing their double standards and ending the phrase with the word PHONY. Not only them, but everyone else in the room will know better than messing with you again.


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slowmutant
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Sat Feb 14, 2009 4:32 pm

Do you have any friends, anyone you can count on for emotional support? Your strategy of verbal intimidation could backfire if your whole life is nothing but cussing people out.



KingdomOfRats
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Sat Feb 14, 2009 4:35 pm

verbally intimidate...
shout 'bbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrr yap' in a low to high pitched voice,it definitely gets goldiecat what she wants.


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