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SpaceCase
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23 Dec 2005, 11:02 am

I happen to be polite.Especially around adults.But I can be a real goof ball sometimes.

-SpaceCase :)


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Civet
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23 Dec 2005, 11:33 am

I consider myself polite. I'm not sure how others see me, though. I do things like holding doors for people, saying "please," "thank you," and "excuse me," but I often don't greet people when I see them, and sometimes I can say really rude/abrupt things without meaning to. I guess atleast they can see that I make an effort, and my intentions are good.



mjs82
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23 Dec 2005, 11:36 am

I am always polite except when I'm being a rude jerk. I feel the two kind of conflict with one another.



Larval
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23 Dec 2005, 11:53 am

Depends on who you ask, I suppose......

I can be if I want to, I think. Not really sure about that though...



Cade
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23 Dec 2005, 12:07 pm

I've never been particularly polite. When I was younger I was just quiet and kept to myself. Nowadays, I'm older and crankier so I just go ahead and say what I want to say at many times.

I have long been fascinated by manners and etiquette, because it's actually a system and there's logic behind them. I don't consider etiquette to fall in the whole "unwirtten laws of social interaction" - there are, afterall, many books and even schools aiming at teaching etiquette, so it's actually a very overt and established code of behavior with clear rules and a specific goal in mind, namely making other people comfortable and at ease around you. So sometimes I do employ certain manners, and am often impressed by others' graciousness. My best friend, who's a true bleu Southren belle, is very gracious and conscientious, despite generally thinking "people are stupid" (which is why we're such great friends), so I've learned a lot from her - most significantly, that etiquette hinges on practicality, and not sincerity. I think that's what hangs up a lot of Aspies, because we assume it has to be sincere.



Fashionprincess
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23 Dec 2005, 1:36 pm

I dont have Asperger's but my 9 yr. old son does....
about politness, I see he is very polite, it is the other people in the world who can be ignorant to his gifts and all he has to offer. For examle; I am in college and my child can go circles around some of my college age friends at times, when we go out in public my child will just start talking to people about anything and everything concerning his strong likes (which are skatebaording and cars) some are polite back to him and think he is cute (he is) but others dont understand and see it as awkward (he talks alot on the same topics of his choice) adults are mostly polite to him but and enjoy his conversations but it breaks my heart when peers his age view him as "indifferent" and shy away from him or are just plain mean. It is not my kids fault or our kids faults they are so intelligent. My kid can be telling them about Mozhart or how to put an engine together and they are talking about Yugiho cards....I think many people are just uneducated in what Asperger's is. It does not mean your strange, it means your gifted. People should embrace that,,,,and Doctor's should change it from Asperger's to "Little Geniouses". I never want my chid to have any anger towards people in the world who are discriminitive or who reject them, instead I want him to hold his head up high and learn to make wiser choices of who is his friend and who is not. I always tell him that people are not always just mean or rejective, they are just uneducated in the facts because he is not indifferent, they are. He is just gifted and I am proud of HIm! and anyone who is his friend is Blessed to know such a great kid, it is their loss if they dont want to be his friend because he has so much to offer......

There is no greater pain than to see your child hurt and then people be mean to him, I feel he is polite and I feel he has a heart of gold. I feel I am also polite, I am always a promoter of peace and I am always wiling to work with individuals, it is just hard when they are plain rude in their ignorance that I have to step in and ammend my kid and intervene. I make a sure stand for my family, never rude but always very foward and Alot of people, esspecially in his school district dont like me because I am such a great advocate for him and his rights and they know I dont back down to his rights being protected....I always make sure his rights are respected even if I do have to call Civil Rights on them and I always win cases against them but thats not being imploite, it's being an attentive great mother!

To all those people out there with medical challenges ......dont ever feel indifferent, just always remember your better because your gifted. Dont ever let anyone make you feel anything less!
To you moms out there with kids who have challenges, your not alone,
your precious and if there had to be one definition to decribe you/us it would be that we're/you are what we call "The true meaning of love" and your to be commended for all the great things we/you do for your kids!


What the world needs today is to be educated.......
In the future I plan to make or more Asperger's awareness.


-Signed,
A mom who adores her kids and cares about all of humanity



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23 Dec 2005, 1:48 pm

I usually try to be polite, but occasionally I speak in a cynical fashion.



GroovyDruid
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23 Dec 2005, 2:58 pm

Yes, I learned etiquette when I was young, and the rules were something I could really grab on to. I wasn't diagnosed then, either, so there was NO leeway allowed for me. I was taught to be polite, or else...

The result: I became famous for being formal and polite. Adults adored me. I was an Emily Post dream. Later, I started being pushed around for being formal and polite, and laughed at, and refused dates. That started me on a quest that ended in my diagnosis.

Now, I'm still well-known as a gentleman, but I know more about what etiquette MEANS, when to use it, and when to tell someone to shove it. It's a wonderful tool to possess.


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numark
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23 Dec 2005, 3:53 pm

:D I tend to be quite polite

:oops: But have been told that i attempt to be so at inappropriate times

:P Ah Well you can't always be right :P



Malaclypse
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23 Dec 2005, 4:08 pm

I was a lot like the description of Fashionprincess' son when I was a kid: went around talking to anyone (and I was an expert on cars according to my parents), trying to get outsiders into the group, tried to make people who seemed down feel better, and I'm very proud of myself as I look back at it. Today I'm bitter and have learnt to hate people because most of them are as*holes. One very clear sign of this is that people thought I was making a pass on someone when I was just being nice, because they didn't see any tactical advantage in being nice to this or that person. Jeesh! What a bunch of egocentric f***s they all are! I hope you succeed with your son Fashionprincess and continue the fight against the as*holes, but don't let them get to you too much. It was great to read your post, warrior.



larsenjw92286
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23 Dec 2005, 4:10 pm

I am very polite.


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Yupa
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23 Dec 2005, 5:21 pm

I'm only polite when I want to make/keep friends or influence people.
I'm also polite when I either have guests or am a guest.
In any other case, I'm extroardinarily rude.



rearden
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23 Dec 2005, 8:13 pm

I've been working on making small talk and meeting new people. Apparently one girl I met told a friend of mine that she was interested in me at first, but then she thought that I'm "too polite" and "too nice". Go figure. Apparently you're supposed to act slightly arrogant, because others see that as confidence. Only problem is, I don't really know how to do that subtly.. If I tried being a little bit of a jerk, I'd ended up going all-out and then people would complain that I'm too rude. NT's are such a pain in the ass to deal with.



AbominableSnoCone
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23 Dec 2005, 8:22 pm

It really depends on my mood... I try to be polite as much as I can be, but if someone is giving me attitude I will try to give them an attitude about 100x worse. :|


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Serissa
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23 Dec 2005, 8:43 pm

Not very polite. I'm not -rude- but I often miss out on social cues for politeness, and I'm almost pathologically honest.



Sophist
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23 Dec 2005, 9:19 pm

I consider myself superficially polite (e.g., holding open doors for others, etc.) but I'm not so good with the more intricate courtesies like reciprocal interactions et al. Stuff where people who know me might think I'm rude but strangers who only talk to me a little think I'm very courteous.


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