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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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14 Apr 2009, 9:55 am

Identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives.


I admit I struggle with it but not in the way you might think. When people do good things for one another I don't lack empathy. I can understand that. It makes sense to me. They do this for the good of their community, the overall health of the people that comprise their community.

To me, it makes perfect sense. Everyone should have access to the same services.

I can tell when people are distressed and know what makes them this way. I know what hurts people's feelings.
What I have trouble with is empathizing with certain actions and feelings of others.

Some of us have read posts about criminals and understanding their minds and why they do what they do. Some people have an intense need to know. Instead of wanting to know, I think: "I'm worse off than that person and I don't do what they do. I hope they throw them in jail and throw away the key."

There are times I do lack empathy but it isn't like people think when they read or hear "lacking empathy". People tend to not get a very flattering picture when they read something like that. They think we are these crazed sadistic monsters who don't understand when we are hurting others but this couldn't be further from the truth.

I am more sensitive to other's troubles than some. When people can't find work no matter how hard they try, and don't have access to health care, I am loaded with understanding and compassion for anyone going thru that and I can't understand why anyone would want to deny a living thing with basic health care.

I think our attitude toward life, in general, is disgusting. It's something we should all feel ashamed of. If you look at society and our attitudes toward the most vulnerable members, it tells you something about our values and priorities, as a species. It's not a pretty picture.



Psygirl6
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14 Apr 2009, 8:14 pm

I have trouble getting along with people who are and/or have "special" needs. I have also have trouble with an NT but at least with an NT I can have a platonic auquantance and/or friendship where I can just have a simple conversation with them, and if they start getting emotional and/or start acting and seeming needy(needing adbvice, emotional support and/or sympathy and empathy), then I just leave. Also, even though I lose a lot of friends from it, but at least the few understanding people are all NT. I have trouble with people with disabilities, especially because when they talk to me, they expect me to be sympathetic, empathetic and/ also understanding of their needs. It is even difficult because i was am in agencies with Autistic people who are not as high functioning and the ones who are, they also have mild-moderate mental retardation and also have severe behavior issues where they tease and become belligerent. Unfortunately, these people not only want me to get emotional involved, supportive and/or sympathetic and empathetic, but they have severe behavior issues and want and expect me to be understand why they physically,mentally, and/or verbally abuse me. The staff feel the same way since I am the only Asperger and the highest functioning one of them all who does not have any learning,behavior,psychiatric and/or any disabilities(just Aspergers) that would debilitate me.
I have a hard time because how do I understand what these people do and/or feel(fact is I can't because of my Aspergers') and staff think I should automatically know. First of all, I do not have Autism, nor any behavior,psychiatric and/or mental retardation or any problems(not even one) that they have.
See I see it this way, the more problems a person has, especially "special needs" people, the more difficult it is to deal and/or be around them. NT people may be difficult, but because they do not or may not have any problems that would add to the need for empathy,sympathy, and/or understanding, I find them more easier. But at least if they do start being needy, I can always leave and be honest that I can not help them and most can understand(and if they do not i rather have them leave).
As for a disabled person, not only do they not understand, but instead of leaving me alone, they start getting"abusive, aggressive, and/or start acting more needy.With my staff there with the clients, i get in trouble and I am forced to sit there and take it. Not only that, but take the abuse from both the client and the staff. And then the staff would get the head manager and the head manager would yell at me and tell me I am not ret*d, I am intelligent and should automatically have these sympathy and understanding. Then I am forced being extra special to that client and the staff are extra special to that client in front of me, while the staff are nasty to me and allow that client to be the same.
That is how I see, basically through my experiences.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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14 Apr 2009, 9:42 pm

I think that's a good approach. IMO it's better to be quiet and avoidant in a situation you aren't equipped to handle than make it worse by responding inappropriately. IRL, I either leave, avoid, or stay quiet when I am not sure how to handle other people.

I figure if I just say nothing there's no way I can be accused of coming up with the wrong response.



Danielismyname
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14 Apr 2009, 11:51 pm

Psygirl6,

People with AS can be just as difficult to interact with. In fact, there's a higher incidence of behavioural problems in individuals who have AS and Autism with a normal IQ than those who have a below-average one.



Psygirl6
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15 Apr 2009, 7:56 am

Danielismyname wrote:
Psygirl6,

People with AS can be just as difficult to interact with. In fact, there's a higher incidence of behavioural problems in individuals who have AS and Autism with a normal IQ than those who have a below-average one.


Thank you for the information. Actually, I knew that one it is just that I never had any behavioral and/or learning problems. Actually I have an extreme high intelligence. I actually am the opposite, I am way too friendly, and never even been in a fight and/or aggressive mood ever. The only way I show anger is through yelling and jumping up and down and insulting people by saying I am more highly intelligent than they are,usually staff because I never talk to the clients and I just pretend they are not there. When the clients do annoy me and/or abuse me, I just tell staff and walk away from them and/or tell them to "stop bothering me" ," it is not appropriate to treat me like that" and/or "that is why I do not like you".
The people in this program have combined autism and severe psychiatric and/or behavior disorders, not just autism. This is what makes the program so called unique. I do not even belong in the program, but because of the diagnosis was Asperger's and it was the same as autism at the time, the counselor thought this program would be great. The state that I live in funds and is responsible in putting people into programs. They said it was not appropriate for me because I do not have any behavioral,psychiatric, learning and or any issues that would require such services from this agency. They sent me to another agency that I was only supposed to be in for 1 year just to get job skills out in the community and not in some building.
But the counselor who works for the "autism" agency that runs my program and her "bosses"
did not agree and convinced them and my mom that I needed to be put here. So I got put here.
I am just waiting to leave now.
Again I only have asperger's,and I never did require any services, since I only needed counseling while I figure out my life and just get disability just because I could not work because I was not emotionally ready. That is why I had the counseling, so I can "straighten" out my life, go to college and eventually work, all while moving into a section 8 without any supports.I am able and was always able to take a bus and go into the community myself.
I never needed any services, since I am pretty mush normal just have the Aspergers, which because of my aspergers, I always had the independent and adaptive skills and all other skills that one needs to live since I was 13. I actually was a lot more advanced in these skills, even more than the average adult, since I was 13.
So I hope I was not being insulting because I was not. I was just sharing my experiences because of the place I am in does not take plain autistic people, but ones with both psychiatric and severe behavior disorders on top of their autism. I have seen autistic people in my public school(i never was in there class because I was fully mainstreamed in honors classes). These people would not even be qualified for this program. I know that most people autism and/or aspergers do not have any severely behavioral and/or severely psychiatric disorders that would cause them to be extremely violent. These autistic people would otherwise be put into a lifelong mental and/or psychiatric hospitals due to being a danger on the public and/or themselves.The 2 doctors that run the agency who only specialize in autism, not aspergers, wanted to create an alternative setting, so that they would not end up in one.
That is my explaination about my program and the people who are in it. That is why I would get in trouble because the staff 'feared" for their lives because thees people are so bad, that any confrontation can turn into a very dangerous situation. So staff rather allow them to be mean to me and get me in trouble, especially with my housemates because if they get told to stop, they automatically turn very violent, even more aggressive and there have been staff that were injured by these clients, so bad that they are not on disability for life.
Sorry if I offended anyone.



Jamin
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15 Apr 2009, 10:33 am

Psygirl6 wrote:
Sorry if I offended anyone.


If someone there offended be, it be the responsibility of the one who took offense, for the taking of the offense.

Not yours, Psygirl6.

So no need to apologise.


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Good-Luck All-! 28.04.2009