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dudio
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14 Apr 2009, 8:20 am

Hello all, first post I believe.

I've recently started to wonder if I might have had Asperger Syndrome all my life but not been diagnosed. I'm 25 years old now.
Perhaps it hasn't affected me so much previously, but due to a number of factors I've started to worry about it alot.
1. I've moved to a different country.
2. I'm married now.

To explain what leads to me to believe I have Asperger Syndrome:
1. I've always been intensly absorbed by techincal subjects. I get this all the time, and it's almost as I can't help it. I completely zone out from the world and sit in my own mind thinking. It can be almost anything, as long as it's technical and doesn't have an easy finite solution (like 50x100=5000). I've been obsessed by Physics, Maths, computer programming, computer games, and even silly stuff like Tour De France or trying to predict primes or why there is gravity. Or I might collect all these random facts about the players in the football World Cup.

2. After moving to a different country, I've found it very hard to maintain friends and get new relationships apart from my wife. It's like I don't know or don't care about having people close to me but still I'm lonely and bored sometimes... I've had two very good friends in my home-country that I've had since I was 12 years old and they've been amazing friends. Accepting what I just figured was being a bit strange and geeky, they always let me have space if I needed it but also got in touch if they hadn't heard from me for a long time... Now I find that if I start a friendship in work, I can't take that to the next level. I just eventually don't contact them and because they don't contact me it just dies out if I switch jobs or whatever.

But now I've been thinking more about it I've always been told I have a monotone voice and I don't like hugging unless I'm extremely close to someone. And I always found it awkward when to shake hands or when to hug in situations.

But mostly for me it's being absorbed by random stuff. It gets so bad that I can switch off and sit thinking about something on the bus and miss my bus stop by five stops. Or I can sit up all night scribbling formulas and graphs in notepads trying to figure out some random math/physics problem.
In my daily life it's sometimes annoying because I might zone out and leave all the house work or not go to the shop like I promised my wife to do. Then I've let her down and she gives me hell.

I've very recently opened up to my wife about all this, but I feel strangely that I need to get some sort of diagnosis now. I've booked an appointment with my GP later this week, and I'm really worried he might not understand.
I'm not sure it's Asperger Syndrome obviously, but I know it's something because it's not normal the way I am.
I just need my doctor to understand and help me...

So what do you all think? Does it sound familiar or am I just constructing something out of nothing here?



pensieve
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14 Apr 2009, 8:47 am

I'm not sure if a GP can diagnose you. Mine is clueless. They can refer you to a specialist.
It might be hard to get diagnosed if you work or are married, because doctors just assume the negatives to AS.
Also they look for autistic behavior early on in life, so ask your parents if you did any repetitive things or didn't show much interest in other people. That's basically what my mum said about me. Having school report cards to show might help as well.
Personally I think after a diagnosis you're not the same person. You see yourself in a different way. That's what it's like for me. Just keep that in mind when you go for a diagnosis. If you're really successful in life is it really that important to find out if you have AS? And the only treatment available is for other conditions that come from having AS (anxiety/depression) or building your skills, which you can do right now.
But it is your choice, so yeah go for it. I brought in a list of symptoms to show to my psychologist which made it easy for me to be diagnosed.



sunshower
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14 Apr 2009, 9:03 am

It does sound familiar, but pensieve is right - getting a diagnosis will change your entire life and your perspective of yourself dramatically. I think it's important to do some research on your own (you've come to the right place for that, but try books too), and have a deep think on it before seeking a diagnosis (that being said, I am personally pro-diagnosis; your diagnosis only takes over your life if you let it, and it's important to know and understand yourself as best you can - this I believe helps you to achieve happiness more than anything else).


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dudio
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14 Apr 2009, 9:05 am

Well, I see what you mean thanks. The reason I want to see my GP or a specialist is because I can't carry on this way as it's getting too much of a strain on my marriage. I feel I can learn to control it and come to terms with it if I can get diagnosed properly. As I said it might not be AS, but something isn't quite right regardless...

I have to get some sort of social life in this country, but I don't know if I can make friendships as good as those that I've had for so many years with people I knew from childhood. Because I've always found it hard to connect to new people and make lasting relationships but not that I'm older for some reason I find it harder.

And this repetetive all-consuming stuff I get is like this thing happens in my brain that I can't control. I just start thinking about something and the next moment it's 6 hours later and I don't know what happened.
I remember when I was quite young I used to sit and program computers, starting mid-day and sitting all through the night and only stopping some time late the next day. And only getting up for toiletbreaks, some times I didn't even eat.

I feel I have to learn to live with what ever I've got a lot better, as I'm going to lose a lot of important stuff that I can't bear to lose.